A big part of my recovery is learning how to set boundaries. When our family & friends are not used to having to respect our new boundaries (us) they don't particularly like it. I read somewhere that healthy progress is being made once we don't react in a negative way toward enforcing the boundary or to the reaction we get from it. I'm looking forward to the day when I see and feel that progress and I'm determined to see that day. You may have had a little slip but it sounds to me like you did something really good for yourself right before that. Hang in there, my friend.

I am learning to act not react. I feel a certain way so I react to it.

My addiction started out of the feeling of sadness. In the last few weeks I have told myself that if I want to feel sad, fine feel it., but do not react to it. It had a hold of me far to long.
For some reason when I felt I wasn't getting respect for family members I would self medicate with visits to the trap.
Now how does it teach those who are not showing respect make us respect us? It doesn't. We know that.
I totally understand when you say you feel like a loser so prove it.
That is some self talk that should not take place. You are not a loser. You have reacted.
We have to be nice to ourselves, not destructive.
Today for one minute the thought of, "I created a big mess, what am I going to do?" This thought was accompanied with fear. I had to brush this thought aside and relize if I thought this way I was be taking steps backward not forward.
Sheila56 we have a whole life ahead of us moving forward. Talk nice to yourself, even when others don"t.
Hugs

A big part of my recovery has been reducing the "all or nothing" thinking. I think I used to think a lot in terms of good days and bad days, being "on top of things" or not on top of things, and being worthy of my hopes and dreams or not worthy of my hopes and dreams on any given day.

A lot of recovery is accepting the grey areas. Days are never all good or all bad, despite our perception. We will never be perfect mothers, perfect wives, perfect friends, perfect employees, perfect bosses -- and yet, despite our imperfections and imperfect circumstances that we are faced with on a daily basis, we are worthy of our hopes and dreams coming true someday and of the good we have in our lives today.

It's about progress, no perfection. When I used to get bad news at work, or have an argument with a loved one, or feel overwhelmed, it made me feel small, unloved, inadequate, unworthy, incapable, incompetent, and like throwing it all away. The "What the hell" attitude.

But what I needed to learn was that no life is ever perfect, no day is ever perfect, and no person is ever perfect. Free yourself of the criticism and offer yourself kindness, compassion, and the ability to know you are an awesome and amazing person, despite imperfections and bad days.

Hi Sheila,

I'm going to tell you what my doctor told me: "You deserve to be happy"

This is an excellent topic & I appreciate everyone's replies because I think we as compulsive gamblers are usually escape gamblers. And, if we slip or relapse its usually because we are escaping/running away from painful feelings.

I have quit for days at a time, then a week or two, then a month or two, then for more months, half a year. The quit I have now is beautiful because I have finally learned that in order to stay GF I can't run & hide & gamble... It doesn't solve anything, only makes things worse. I can, however, learn from the experience & continue to strengthen my recovery muscle.

So now, with what I've learned, I allow myself to actually feel those feelings. I cry. I exercise or clean my house with the tunes cranked to release anger. Sometimes I just need a hug from my sister, sometimes I journal..its up to you to decide how you are going to deal with your feelings as they happen.

I was emotionally green until my 40's. We deserve to be happy. Take back your happiness please.

(((BIG HUG)))
Cathy