I pray you find the strength to quit again. pray for the desire to gamble to go away. I know the second time I quit was much harder than the first. My only hope was to give someone all control of my money for awhile until I had some clean time.. You can do this, you have done it before. Hugs

Thanks for the encouragement. When I stopped before these stupid game rooms were no where around. I had to put in effort to go gamble. Now it’s across the street and when I get home the obsession kicks my butt. Because of money issues I find myself spending what I don’t have on lottery numbers. With that sick wishful thinking. If I won I will give it back. Sick,sick,sick.

I too recently relapsed after many attempts to quit over four decades I went to treatment and put my whole heart in it. I stayed abstinent for almost five years. My relapse this time was shortest ever, only six hours. It makes a huge difference in difficulty. Six hours was enough this time and as of today, I am 13 days gamble free. Headed to group therapy this morning, men in women in separate groups, I look forward to getting my life back. Hang in there do whatever you must to get between gambling and your money. I am guessing you know the drills to set up some blocks.

Musbedeby, I’m glad you found us. It’s hard to quit all over again, especially if you’ve found yourself spinning out of control worse than the first time around. For me rock bottom represents insanity.
Qwit, it took courage and insight for you to be able to quit gambling again after just 6 hrs, way to go, your honesty is contagious.
I thank everyone here for helping me each and every time I log in.
Today I will not gamble

I pray I stop the madness. There are no GA meetings within 50 miles of me. Last time I quit I did it with the help of AA/N.A.,, since then I’ve become a professional and now have clients that attend AA/N.A. I feel somewhat hopeless.

I need an accountability buddy who can work me through the steps. If anyone is willing let me know and I will reach out to you. I have to surrender before I destroy everything.

Any friend or relative that you trust, if they are true friend, will be willing to hold your checkbook, credit cards, or cash, if you reach out and ask for help. I was fortunate in that I maintained a few friendships through the worst of my gambling and did not burn every bridge I had. Some people are not so fortunate. I once hired a professional payee as a strategy to control my gambling. It worked for a period. I turned over a hefty paycheck to them every two weeks and they gave me a check for spending money. It was a budget I set up and kept me alive and gambling. In 18 months they had me debt free and a savings. But I was still gambling. However, in long run, I thought I could manage it myself, like they had. This is when I was still in denial about being a compulsive gambler, obviously.
And that denial is same reason I am on day 14 gamble free after 4 years and 10 months. It is difficult to fully accept sometimes, but it will always be true for me.
I had to fight for my life to get free of this dreaded disease, and now, I've made it a life worth fighting for these last 4+ years.
Hang in there, Musbdeby, we just need to figure out what the next right thing to do is at this moment. I am pulling for you.

Your response to me is like medicine for my soul. I'm kicking my own butt because I'm allowing the obsession to overcome me. I woke up today says Just for Today, stopped for gas and bought lotto numbers with that sick hope I will win and pay something. Yeah right, I make pretty good money, but if I dont stop the madness it wont matter. Problem is my whole dang family gambles, but they are in denial and think I'm crazy when I say we need help. Can't focus on them, I have to hold on to my sanity. I'll continue to pray for strength and desire and come to this site daily. This too shall pass.....

First, you must decide that you are going to do something different because you deserve a better life. You will need to quit "kicking your own butt" because it is impossible to recover and be kind to ourselves if we are still angry at ourselves. After I got me on my side, abstinence was easier to attain.
It is the definition of insanity to repeat the same behavior over and over expecting a different outcome. Our only real hope, (not a sick one), is in stopping and then digging at the unresolved issues that are the roots of our addictions. You might want to call the national problem gambling help line: 1-800-522-4700, they can tell you what resources are available in your area. Without the excellent counseling provided in my area I would still be living a miserable existence or have committed suicide or gone to prison because of my gambling.
It is medicine to read, post, journal or talk about our addictions. It seems the more open I am about what I struggle with, the less power it has over me.

Get this....I am a Masters Level addiction counselor and have been for 20 years. Just finished hours to become a LPC. This return to sickness will ruin me on so many levels. I am struggling with getting over the anger with self. I do have my own personal therapist..Praise God, but she doesn't understand like those in the rooms. Unfortunately there is no GA within 50 miles of me.