Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Subject line says it all.
Last bet Feb 12th. A few night this week I have waken up to that music that comes from the machine. Where is this coming from?
I still find it hard to sit still. I am so bored. Even going to the gym which is what I replaced my addiction with is boring. People talking is boring. I am boring.
I read somewhere that it may take up to two years to feel normal?
I am a very busy person and now I find everything bores me.
At one point I felt focus, not in the last week.
Oh my brain, kinda hurts and it is tired.
Hate to sound like a whiner, anyone else just bored?
Last bet Feb 12th. A few night this week I have waken up to that music that comes from the machine. Where is this coming from?
I still find it hard to sit still. I am so bored. Even going to the gym which is what I replaced my addiction with is boring. People talking is boring. I am boring.
I read somewhere that it may take up to two years to feel normal?
I am a very busy person and now I find everything bores me.
At one point I felt focus, not in the last week.
Oh my brain, kinda hurts and it is tired.
Hate to sound like a whiner, anyone else just bored?
I won't sugar coat it: It's still hard, almost nine months later. I still get that "bored" feeling in my head sometimes. I know exactly what you are talking about. I think it's dopamine levels resetting in my brain, but that scientific/medical fact doesn't feel all that comforting.
The only thing that has worked for me is accepting that life is just really freaking boring sometimes. You can sugar coat it all you want, but at the end of the day, some days are just boring, filled with mundane tasks and obligations. No matter how far away from gambling you get, there are still days there will be bill-paying, filling out ridiculously mundane forms (why doesn't paper have "autocomplete"?), medical appointments, car appointments, dish washing, waiting for other people, waiting at the DMV, doing things that are mind-numbingly boring.
You can try to escape it. You can try to deny it. You can try to look at things differently and read books on gratitude and meditate and all that good stuff. But at the end of the day, sometimes these things won't work and sometimes circumstances just plain suck. Sometimes you'll just have to suck it up and learn how to dance in the rain. Or at least stand out in the rain without running away from it, distracting yourself from it, or thinking about other things. Sometimes you just gotta face facts and realize life can be hard, difficult, boring, frustrating, annoying, aggravating, stressful, disappointing, and even tragic at times. It's learning how to tolerate the discomfort and the pain.
Hang in there. I do not mean to lecture. I'm having a very rough time myself.
I learned from face to face support group and my counselor about something called Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) it is the withdrawal after the initial (Acute) withdrawal from an addiction. Its affects can last a long time (years) but usually lessens in frequency and intensity after 3-4 months. I would sometimes have a feeling of being transported to in front of a machine and have kind of a flashback or waking dream. I still have this occur maybe once every 4-6 weeks, but it is lessened in intensity and does not scare me so much now that I know it is PAWS and a normal process of recovery. My brain was so used to having that over-stimulation and over-saturation of dopamine almost daily for nearly 40 years, you can see how it may take a bit to undo that pattern, I certainly wore a groove in my brain making that pathway.
Yes boredom is a problem but it is a symptom of the addiction as well.
We really do not want to get our brains saturated as much with dopamine as we did with gambling - that is the basis for our psycho-chemical addiction of gambling. We will never, if we are doing recovery without creating a new addiction, get our brains back to that high saturation of dopamine again. (Comparison may be something like cutting a heroin addict back from a $500/day habit to $5/day.) Our brains complain, I was used to getting my $500/day dopamine and my brain is bored with anything less. It does not feel good, like my full dose of dopamine did. I understand it is a like a last ditch effort (the sounds/music/visions) by our brains to make the dopamine in the quantities that we crave due to doing it for so long. It is what we must go through to get the dopamine turned down, it is kind of a death throe of the demon crying out for more dope.
Being bored is not the worst thing in life - being addicted IS! Bored or not, I MADE myself do something else - I had to - the alternative was back to addiction HELL.
Join a group - any group - toastmasters, joggers, scrabble players, hikers, bikers, walkers anything do it even if it is boring and keep trying, there is some much in the world to explore, we can't do it in a lifetime.
Volunteer - find some cause you care about- anything - feral cats, abused children, invasive plants, water quality, Habitat for Humanity, SPCA, candy-stripe in a children hospital ward, do something that makes you feel like you are contributing to society. Make an effort to make someone's day, every day. Make an effort to make a new friend. Go to a movie with a friend. Join a book club. Go through the motions, explore various hobbies, take a class, start learning a foreign language, (DuoLingo is a free language learning website.) Learn about wild food that is available just out of your front door - If you give yourself opportunities to find something, as the dopamine wears off you may find there are other things that you enjoy. If not keep looking.
Doing something that pampers me, makes me feel better, while not real stimulating, it is something we need and generally are not used to. Giving ourselves a pedicure, manicure, facial, bubble bath, hot tub, day at the spa if we can afford it, or even mental health break in nature or meditation can be a way to feel better without a lot of extra dopamine. Beware of cross addiction such as compulsive shopping, eating or watching TV.
Again I turn to art-work or creative activities, when I feel triggered,(art, coloring books, gardening, photography, cooking, crafting, woodworking, clay, etc), somehow, even scribbling/doodling relaxes me and yet allows me to be present mentally.
I hope this helps some Marie, hang in there.
:) happy friday..
I haven't gambled in nearly 16 months. I still have dreams about slot machines. I still get random thoughts about gambling that seem to come out of nowhere. I'm not sure if the "urge" ever subsides. It's almost as if once you break that seal there is no turning back and shutting that part of you down. You just learn to keep it caged.
For me clearly seeing and understanding the damage that pathological gambling did to my life (and would do again) is more powerful than the urge to gamble. That is what keeps me from going back. Life can be pretty mundane at times. Even all the new interests I've taken up can't possibly keep a smile on my face 24/7. Sometimes I just want to be bad. I accept that I can't anymore. In order to be successful in beating this that's something you will also need to be at peace with.
So... It has been one month and tonight we turned on 80's music and danced in the living room. That was not boring.
After all I have been through I know I have an addictive personality and I have a inner child that like to throw tantrums. As I a child I had to be perfect so as an adult I like to have a holy leg kicking pity party at times.
My muscles are sore from being at the gym. Boring, but productive.
Thanks again for all the advice.
Hugs