You have to hang tough and remember what gambling did to you and stole from you. I do not want to see you go through all that pain and misery again. Please try to stay calm, and know that these urges will pass. They have to, for they do not belong in our recovery...

Depression sucks, I know, from personal experience, that depression combined with this addiction is devastating. I also know if I gamble again I’ll fall down that rabbit hole again, possibly for the last time. I’ve had to remind myself that life matters, even while suffering from depression, because it does. When I gamble nothing matters except the game, and the game takes money, and and and......for me to continue gambling is insanity. So I hang on, for dear life, to life
Today I will not gamble

ughh...i feel ya, i was safe for a while, my closest casino and hour or so away, now they built one down the block practically, well..15 min...so I feel the pull, the urge, it starts so small, when im my happiest actually, walking the woods at 7 am w/my dog, life is great, guess what i want to do ..RUIN IT....why? workin on that.... I'm so at peace what the hell is this creeping up on me...i let it come, i sit in it, i say...so if you go...you go, but remember, its gonna kill ya later, whats more important, i cant say i win 100% of the time but my stats are rising.....it'll kick in one day....fast forward to the horror, or...as i did go on utube and do the hypnosis...to shut my brain off....anything i can do to take it down a percent....i will....

Remember this, there's always someone winning a jackpot. For every jackpot, there are probably 100's if not 1000's (maybe more) who are doing just the opposite. Those of us who have lost everything and then some. The folks who've lost the mortgage. The grocery money. Payday loans. Credit card cash advances. Overdrawn accounts. Wives, husbands, children. They've lost all of their life including friends and the ability to live a real life. So tell that jackpot to go F itself.

Former horse player here. Your bosses story is awesome. Maybe he's that good! If so, kudos to him. Here's the reality, he's probably not. Maybe he had that one big, massive hit that got him his mink coat (if you go to GA you know what I'm talking about). More than likely he's had some big, bad beats that went along with his incredible win. Because in gambling, the house never, ever, ever, ever, ever ,ever loses. Never.

Be strong. It's good you've been triggered and you aren't acting on it. You might be burning inside, but that doesn't mean you're going to do the wrong thing. Great job fighting the urge, we all know how hard it can be sometime.

Such true and good advice here ;)))

Im not sure where you are in your clean time...
but for what it is worth -- 30 days I was better 90 days I felt like my brain was actually coming back.

I went thru the withdrawal in a bad way. Another symptom of a true addiction.

Consider yourself in ICU right now and you have to care for yourself with special attention. Healthy diversions good -- movie, phone call, ga meeting, other addiction meeting, etc.

This will pass.... and like you said you don't want to go thru detox again.

Routing for you today... let's just get thru the min. the hour and the day.

Thanks everyone. Well it is getting better. At the present I have not gambled for 17 months. I am 10 minutes from a casino that I am banned from but that really never stops anyone. I have no one to be accountable to for a few hours but the urges have pretty much subsided so I should be fine. Right?

WOW newgirl you are 17 months clean! That is fantastic. Know you have support here.
Did you try GA?


The urges do subside.

After this time clean we can forget the immediate pain. Don't forget. The GA Meetings w/ newcomers spilling the reality helps me.

I think I read on here the image of the devil (the addiction in incarnate) whispering in your ear "come on baby, you and me, don't you miss me, this is really what you deserve and want, nirvana, lets go" and you go and the devil and you have a blast in the casino, so charming and laughing, and winning and spinning, then things turn - as they always do - and the losing takes over and when you're desperate w/ despair the devil takes another kick at your gut as you crawl on the casino floor w/ pain and smiles and laughs looking at you on his way out the door shaking his head, leaving you there on the floor with your pain, demolished.

It was a vivid story told that I can relate to. Who wrote that story? I want to print it out.

There's a difference between dying with this disease, not FROM it.

Good stuff from joycatcher.........God Bless

Thanks joycatcher for that, wow! I'd like to print that image of the devil too. I can still feel that kick in the gut and also kick in the butt saying: "get out of here, quickly, you're worthless, you have no more money, go home, go to work, borrow, steal or whatever and when you have some money, than come back , I will be waiting for you so you can loose it again and again and the vicious cycle repeats. Oh!
I will not gamble today!!!

Newgirl55, 17 months gf is amazing, hang in there.!

Well I made it though the weekend, urges are gone, Boredom and depression are not but I still fell better than when I was addicted to gambling. Thanks all!

I try to remember that most addicts, including myself, before recovery only tell what they won, never anything about losses. I will tell them I am a recovering gambling addict and I will ask them to not talk about their gambling winnings to me. I also have a huge advantage in being deaf in one ear, (It helps to count those small blessings), if they don't quit talking about it, I can surreptitiously plug my good ear, without making a public scene, until I can get away from them.