Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Sometimes I feel too confident with my recovery process, and I do stupid things that start my urges all over again. I was bored, and I decided to play slot games on my IPad one day (not for money but for free credits), and they were slot machines that I used to enjoy playing at the casino. I convinced myself that it was just a game. I also was fully aware that it was one that I should not be playing, but sometimes I get angry that I can't gamble like everyone else, and I convinced myself that playing this game word not hurt me. Luckily, I have very good friends that help hold me accountable, and they let me know very quickly that it is not healthy for me to be playing those games. It was consuming my time, triggering urges, and just plain stupid that I was becoming obsessed by a video game that does not even give real money. That was one thing that I never allowed myself to do-gamble online for real money. My friends asked me what I was going to do to hold myself accountable for making a bad choice. I gave them my IPad for a few weeks. They also let me know how unhappy they were with me. Maybe this was the wake up call that I needed before I have an actual relapse at a casino. I was getting closer and closer to falling in to the gambling pit again. I would be devastated if I relapsed and had to start all over again. I would appreciate any strategies that you could give me to help me from becoming over confident about my recovery process. I have started coming back here and being more active again. Because when I am helping others, it helps me as well.
Your post is very uncanny and oh, so timely. I believe I'm manning one of the oars in your boat, as I have been spending quite a bit of time on my iPad playing games...Candy crush in particular, and Solitaire. ADDICTIVE! I have been very tempted to venture into the casino and play with "free" money!!!! Ugh....I cannot not do this...I pray I will not do this. One day, playing Solitaire, the sound of a winning slot machine came across the speaker....an ad for an online casino inviting me to play $15,000 of "free play"?!?
It shook me to my core! My initial thought..."No harm, no foul...ain't gonna give them any my money". But I absolutely knew that if I took their bait, I'd be "theirs" again. Likewise, I felt compelled to rejuvenate my level of participation here at DS, for I have been somewhat AWOL since moving out on my own. I know in my heart that I must continue to be villigent in my quest to continue my GF journey.
Keep remembering, we are all just one lousy damn bet away from falling back into the hole of darkness, shame, remorse and feelings of worthlessness! Well, we've been there, done that....join me in shouting:
"AIN'T GOING THERE AGAIN"!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this post. Of late, I've been feeling weaker/more vulnerable than I have in a very long time. I have allowed myself to become complacent with my recovery, and I cannot afford to do that...we cannot afford to do that.
For me it would most definitely be emotional suicide, and since being gamble free, I've come to realize that I've got a lot of GF living to do!!
Be well and stay strong, my friend...we are in this together!
Love, Tagg
I figure if I can choose to walk away from the casino, then I can choose to give up the temptation of an online gaming site. Even pretend games with no money involved have "rewards" like online credits. The jolt I get from winning is not worth the snowball of playing and playing and playing that follows. In my experience at least.
I second that motion...great perspective!
Thank you,
Tagg20