Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
It has been a while since I have been on! Mostly, I suppose I was embarrassed to go here I go DAY ONE AGAIN! 15years on an off with this demon! The last couple weeks were not good! Not huge amounts, but it doesn't matter...........it needs to stop!
Here is my most recent revelation. I have done it all like a lot of us, counselors etc etc, GA, blah blah! I only gamble when I have a cocktail...and when I get to a couple beers then my inhibition goes out the window and I have the don't care attitude.
I like to have a social drink, but know that is my trigger....so here is what I have done.
Super bowl sunday.....a few things happened. Had past my 2 cocktail limit when I know all inhibitions have left. I have previously put a "cap" on my debit card and I do not carry cash/or cks on me. I was supposed to go to another friends house for a get together...never made it. Thought I would gamble quickly, never left...."capped" out my debit card, then the sad part is I went home and got a check! UGGGH! That was so wrong and went back after having another drink! Then stayed later than I ever have. When I got home it didn't feel very worthy of even "being around"! NEVER HAVE GOTTEN TO THAT POINT EVER......so some key things happened, that I knew I had hit, where I never want to be again.
There is a step in all of this that I have not done and that was tell ALL THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO ME! Well, in tears that next day I called my "own intervention" lol! I told everyone closest to me ....and that I need their help right now. I also put a cap on how much I would drink out, and asked them for their support in that. Or I will have to quit, I know that could be a step I have to take.
The relief of telling people was beyond measure. Humiliation and humbling....but, liberating. It has been a week and I have stayed with my plan ....I also know that I have people watching me, I know they might drive by where I went. It is no longer a secret, I can no longer hide!
Time is yet to tell......but, I feel I am more onto recovery (within reason) than I ever have been in the past!
I thought I would share my story.....maybe it will assist someone else.!
For now, I feel great......I will keep believing in myself!
Have an amazing day everyone....hang in there!
Here is my most recent revelation. I have done it all like a lot of us, counselors etc etc, GA, blah blah! I only gamble when I have a cocktail...and when I get to a couple beers then my inhibition goes out the window and I have the don't care attitude.
I like to have a social drink, but know that is my trigger....so here is what I have done.
Super bowl sunday.....a few things happened. Had past my 2 cocktail limit when I know all inhibitions have left. I have previously put a "cap" on my debit card and I do not carry cash/or cks on me. I was supposed to go to another friends house for a get together...never made it. Thought I would gamble quickly, never left...."capped" out my debit card, then the sad part is I went home and got a check! UGGGH! That was so wrong and went back after having another drink! Then stayed later than I ever have. When I got home it didn't feel very worthy of even "being around"! NEVER HAVE GOTTEN TO THAT POINT EVER......so some key things happened, that I knew I had hit, where I never want to be again.
There is a step in all of this that I have not done and that was tell ALL THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO ME! Well, in tears that next day I called my "own intervention" lol! I told everyone closest to me ....and that I need their help right now. I also put a cap on how much I would drink out, and asked them for their support in that. Or I will have to quit, I know that could be a step I have to take.
The relief of telling people was beyond measure. Humiliation and humbling....but, liberating. It has been a week and I have stayed with my plan ....I also know that I have people watching me, I know they might drive by where I went. It is no longer a secret, I can no longer hide!
Time is yet to tell......but, I feel I am more onto recovery (within reason) than I ever have been in the past!
I thought I would share my story.....maybe it will assist someone else.!
For now, I feel great......I will keep believing in myself!
Have an amazing day everyone....hang in there!
Love,
Victoria
I caused a blunder (TWICE!!!) this past week after some time of being GF. I had to tell my close friends, so it keeps me in check.
I am going to try not to drink for a bit, and if I do, I will make sure I stay within two drinks.
I do not gamble when Im sober, and dont really think of it much either. Alcohol seems to be my trigger and makes me go into a mode that I cannot relate to sober.
So the choice seems to be clear at this point. No alcohol, no gambling.
I wish you the best and try to take it as a learning lesson and I have from last week.
We will get through this!!
Quit4Good....you have been a continuous inspiration in all of your posts, and I have tried many of your suggestions. Pennyluv....always so supportive to others, thank you I hope too you are doing well. Victoria2014....thanks, yes I found it to be very difficult as you stated, I had difficulty looking my friends in the eye, as I had kept this so secret for so many years. ali85m - yes, we need to continue to support one another. Alcohol.....at least we know the trigger.
Thank you ....this site and support has given me ideas that I have certainly been more successful at fighting this demon than ever before. I continue to get stronger......I just pray I will everyday continue with more strength.
Thank you....
I didn't have anything beat. (Had to refinance the home to clean up credit card dept.)
On Sunday my husband drove me to casino's and I self banned. He cried on the way home. Not because of the mess I had made, but because of how much I just showed him I loved him.
Friday night I had once again dropped 1200.00, just the night before I had dropped 1000. Two nights in a row.... I knew if I did not do something drastic I was done being alive.
I remembered hearing a pastor on the internet ask a question. He said, "What is God's address?" and the answer is, At the end of my rope. I was there, at the end of my rope.
I walked into the house and humbly asked my husband to go to all the casino's with me on Sunday and I was going to self ban. You would have thought I gave him a Million buck.
I had come to the point that he meant more to me then me destroying our lives.
How is it that a machine means more then people? It means more then life. It is evil and it will destroy.
Today, he cried again. Not because of the mess I made, but because he had fallen in love with me all over again. Wow. This will be my motivation. I can not turn his love into a dung pile.
The casino had robbed my faith.
My faith is back.
Go the next step and Self Ban. Your family will be so proud of you.
You have a future in front of you, Grab it.