That's a major trigger for me. When I used to hear people talk about their wins I would automatically think I could/would win, too, and I couldn't get it out of my head until all my money was gone. Now it makes me feel uncomfortable and I go on high alert. The longer I stay away from it, the more I'm able to rationalize those crazy thoughts. Now I know I can never win.

The blow by blow stories, usually of winning, are a trigger for me as well. I believe most GA groups ask people not to mention dollar amounts. I am open about my addiction/recovery and I say, "I am a recovering compulsive gambler, please don't tell me gambling stories, it triggers me." Over my one year+ of abstinence, only one person would not shut up about it.

I have one more tool than most people have, I am deaf in one ear - I can plug the good ear with one finger subtly and do enough head nodding for them to think I am listening - and I don't have to jump up and walk away and I am not triggered because I am not hearing it.

You crack me up Qwit4Good

@Marieh2- Congrats! That's awesome!

@Qwit4good - That's too funny!

A recent trigger for me was remembering I won $2,000 at the casino playing blackjack and craps last year around this time, and I used all of the money to buy my parents and fiance truly awesome Christmas presents. This year, I spent about $1,200 of our own money, and it was hard. January will be tight. Part of me wanted to go to the nearest casino -- which, due to self-ban, is about six hours away by car -- but then I remembered it's not a sure thing, I ultimately put back a lot more than I won, and I would be reversing nearly six months of progress. Plus, what is ultimately best for my family is not extravagance but having me present, healthy, and whole, which means non-addicted.

Happy holidays!

@nancyzoman
I do understand the idea of getting money for gifts.
And you are right, being present in the moment with family is so much better.

It was last year on the 13th that I had my biggest melt down. Due to my melt down I was not able to participate in any of our Family Christmas events. I was held up in a hotel room, while the family did all the fun stuff. My panic attacks were due to the lies and gambling.
This year, whew, no panic attacks. So happy.

People rarely talk about the losses they have though. I have friends that sports bet and hear about when they win but the losses are rarely talked about. I want them to win and not donate money to the books but can only imagine how many more losses than wins they have.