Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I have had a relapse. I have lost all trust with my wife I have blown all the money we had saved. I feel horrible. And to make it worse I tried to hide it because I knew I messed up.
This is a problem I have dealt with for several years and things were better until just recently. I hate gambling I hate sitting there and just watching my money just disappear. and then the realization of I have to win it back. (which I know is not going to work) Its almost like I have to punish myself for my past. I dont know if its because I havent actually forgiven myself for it or if its just a trick my mind plays. When I had the relapse I didn't have the normal stressors or triggers to go but I went anyway.
I have come clean with everyone in my life, but because I had the relapse I have put into jeopardy of losing everything in my life that I really care about. My wife wants me out. I honestly dont want to go she has been the only person to stick with me though these years, but I know I have hurt her . What do I do? I know it takes time. But how do I handle this I have nothing.
But on a brighter note I have already setup an appointment with the best counselor for gambling in my area. I am looking forward to going and getting a different perspective with my situation. I am not the guy deep in side who is the "gambler" I hate the person that i am with the gambling. Im ashamed to put it in a nut shell.
My mind is a wreck right now because all i can think of is I DONT want to lose my wife or my daughter. I want to DEAL with this and do my BEST to beat it each and every day. I am so sick of feeling this way. But I dont know how to get my wife to believe me because like i said this is an on going thing for several years where I go from beating it for a period of time and then letting her down again.
Someone please give me some insight into this. please.
This is a problem I have dealt with for several years and things were better until just recently. I hate gambling I hate sitting there and just watching my money just disappear. and then the realization of I have to win it back. (which I know is not going to work) Its almost like I have to punish myself for my past. I dont know if its because I havent actually forgiven myself for it or if its just a trick my mind plays. When I had the relapse I didn't have the normal stressors or triggers to go but I went anyway.
I have come clean with everyone in my life, but because I had the relapse I have put into jeopardy of losing everything in my life that I really care about. My wife wants me out. I honestly dont want to go she has been the only person to stick with me though these years, but I know I have hurt her . What do I do? I know it takes time. But how do I handle this I have nothing.
But on a brighter note I have already setup an appointment with the best counselor for gambling in my area. I am looking forward to going and getting a different perspective with my situation. I am not the guy deep in side who is the "gambler" I hate the person that i am with the gambling. Im ashamed to put it in a nut shell.
My mind is a wreck right now because all i can think of is I DONT want to lose my wife or my daughter. I want to DEAL with this and do my BEST to beat it each and every day. I am so sick of feeling this way. But I dont know how to get my wife to believe me because like i said this is an on going thing for several years where I go from beating it for a period of time and then letting her down again.
Someone please give me some insight into this. please.
My guess is that while you say you did not have the normal triggers or stressors, you likely had some trigger, you just did not notice. Sometimes the trigger is having time, money and no plan. (One of my dangerous situations.)
You may want to check with your counselor about couples or family counseling and see if your family would be willing to participate. I suggest you go to a few sessions and give it an honest college try doing any homework between sessions your counselor asks you to do before breaching the couples/family counseling idea.
You can get through this.
2.) Does your health insurance cover in-house rehab services? Something to consider.
3.) Get a payee. Someone who receives all of your paychecks and has access to all of your accounts, who pays you only an allowance.
4.) Self-ban from all casinos in your state, if the program is available.
5.) Don't worry about your marriage for now. The gambling addiction is about your relationship with yourself. You need to concentrate on getting you better before you can even start to repair your relationship.