Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
i gambled today, i took 15 dollars, withdrew all i had in the bank card, 50 dollars, and took it up to 220 and walked away with no money. feeling bad, although i tried not to feel bad, i said to myself tomorrow is my day one and tomorrow is mothers day in australia, and also my guards were down, i wasn't thinking, if i could eat chocolate or something, i can't eat those kinds of things because my teeth start exploding from pain... if i had gone to the beach instead, coz the weather was good, if i had bought myself flowers, or something, that money could have been used or gone towards something i need. it's alot of money to throw away like that. i thought i was going to control myself, i was bored at the machines until i won big , and the thrill made me sick, i didn't know what to do with the money. i have been saving, so as you all know when you start having extra money here and there you feel like a bet. i am really trying not to be upset about it, but deep down i feel terrible, can't concentrate anymore. i'm a compulsive gambler, and this truely is an illness i have. i wish i had listened to the strong voice and not the gambling voice. but i didn't know the exact date i quit last time, now i do. tomorrow is mothers day, and it's my day one. my reasoning was pathetic, i thought i was cured, i thought if i don't gamble, then my therapist will desert me, people won't think i have a gambling problem. they will think i beat the demon. after all the demon put me through, i don't know why i went back into it's arms. i have planned to get banned from there, one of the few places close by that i haven't banned myself from, because it has a machines that i like. oh boy. damn this disease.
Yes this damn disease sucks so bad!! I hate it when I get the stupid urges. We get bored, depressed, broke, have extra money, (any reason will do) then the first thought is to go to the casino. I guess we think it can fix us, or get rid of our problems. It sounds crazy, but that's how us compulsive gamblers think.
Please don't beat yourself up because you slipped. You are at day one with way more knowledge now than you had on your original day one. I would see about completely banning yourself from all of the casinos. That's been my roadblock in my addiction.
Stay Strong!!
Xxxooo
Lisa
You need to use this as a learning experience and you need to learn that we (all of us) are in this together. When you get the urge, reach out- there will be someone to answer the call and help you return from the ledge.
There are only losses from this point forward, whether you win money or not, it's a loss- I say that not berating, but rather as part of reinforcing the educational experience you've noted in your post. We're cyberly-connected, but we're also connected by this horrible disease and I hope that I can count on some help when I need it, I hope you use whatever resources you have at your disposal including those of us here, when you need it.
Jay
Hey, you know how to do this, Floyrra. You've done it before and you can do it again girlfriend! Same as me...I had a 4 month 4 day quit and blew it and didn't quit again for a good 6 months later.
I really hope you get right back on the GF wagon okay? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't go back there, come here instead. We're here for ya. Don't let this slip turn into something worse. Your therapist will be there for you whether you gamble or not okay?
Hang Tough You CAN Do This!
Hugs,
Cathy
You've been here before, and you know exactly what to do, and we'll be here to help-GET BACK UP ON THE HORSE and begin anew. Please be kind to yourself, At least enough to understand that with this disease, comes some very sinister thoughts and mind-sets of being cured.
You should feel very proud of the progress you made in these past four months....and your knowledge base has grown exponentially . Now it's time to season the knowledge so it ferments into wisdom.
I know you can tame this beast Flyorra....take it easy, don't be too hard on yourself, and most importantly learn from the stumbles that cross our journeys from time to time.
We are here for you and believe in youm my friend
Be well, stay strong, and start kicking this bastard's ass to the curb again.
Love Tagg
You really have been doing an amazing job, and I am grateful you have been posting so much. Please, don't stop!
I really am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. So, maybe this was "It". You have a new start date, that you will remember, and you hopefully wrote down how this made you feel. The "sick" feeling you had -when you won. Only to lose it all again. That is what makes our forum so powerful. We have all walked in each others shoes, and there is no judgement here...only support.
Keep the faith, Girl. You and I both know -you got what it takes. Hugs, ~E