Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
GA, support groups for addicts/members, all have their own advise they give to the new comer, or even to those of us who have had a bit of time in recovery. I was thinking over the weekend, its kind of like when I gave birth to my daughter, during pregnancy, everyone had advise for me, of course I had the "big book" "What to expect, when your expecting" but, that didn't stop the advise givers, all of which had good intentions, but my head was swimming. First time mama, etc. And then once I had her, of course the advise was overflowing, especially since I raised her, as a single parent.
My point is, during my recovery, so many people have had their advise for me, all meant well, but, ultimately, I think what has saved me, is my relapse, countless of them by the way, and the recovery I had, before the relapse, during, and after. It was impossible for me to stop once my addiction told my head, to just go for a little while. Even though I had lots of people I could call, reach out to, and tell them, STOP me. Once my addiction go a hold of me, game on, game over. I would go.
Now, I do get the feeling, urges, and the urges are powerful, I literally have to fight from turning my car in the direction of the casinos, but, I do have road blocks up, banned, and most of my family members hold me accountable as to where I am most of the time. But, when I get the urges I literally find myself screaming, in thin air, I scream, ITS THE ADDICTION TALKING>>>>> don't do it. I call someone quickly, and let them know what's going on.
When I read how others are struggling, I can relate, when I read how others have relapsed, I can relate to that dark place that you go to, during and after the binge. Its part of my recovery.
Someone may say that self banning doesn't work, but for me, doing any type of work to block this addiction from taking over my mind / actions, is a plus.
This is kind of a ramble, but I wanted to applaud those who are here, those who have come back and those who are still struggling but want recovery. Because I am you, I see you, you are my reflection. You are my hope you are my recovery.
xoxoxo
My point is, during my recovery, so many people have had their advise for me, all meant well, but, ultimately, I think what has saved me, is my relapse, countless of them by the way, and the recovery I had, before the relapse, during, and after. It was impossible for me to stop once my addiction told my head, to just go for a little while. Even though I had lots of people I could call, reach out to, and tell them, STOP me. Once my addiction go a hold of me, game on, game over. I would go.
Now, I do get the feeling, urges, and the urges are powerful, I literally have to fight from turning my car in the direction of the casinos, but, I do have road blocks up, banned, and most of my family members hold me accountable as to where I am most of the time. But, when I get the urges I literally find myself screaming, in thin air, I scream, ITS THE ADDICTION TALKING>>>>> don't do it. I call someone quickly, and let them know what's going on.
When I read how others are struggling, I can relate, when I read how others have relapsed, I can relate to that dark place that you go to, during and after the binge. Its part of my recovery.
Someone may say that self banning doesn't work, but for me, doing any type of work to block this addiction from taking over my mind / actions, is a plus.
This is kind of a ramble, but I wanted to applaud those who are here, those who have come back and those who are still struggling but want recovery. Because I am you, I see you, you are my reflection. You are my hope you are my recovery.
xoxoxo
I would read the advice on this forum and think, that is great, but I am not addicted to gambling. It is at the end of the rope that I saw how I was lying to myself and I decided I better take the advice that was being FREELY given. FREE advice from people that knew what they were talking about. Now I would be stupid to ignore this FREE advice.
Now I have hope, because others have given of their time, knowledge and experience to me a stranger they will never meet but who's life they have changed just by sharing.
I am grateful.
"Thinking through" the gamble is so important. All I can think about in the moment is the rush of being at the craps table, the feel of the dice in my hand, savoring the valor of the win. And I know that's the Addiction talking.
The Addiction doesn't remind me of the despair, the desperation, the anguish, the sadness, the depression, the emptiness that ensues after a big loss. The Addiction doesn't remind me of the unwavering urges to go back, the need to win more, the way my own brain isn't even mine anymore after a win. The Addiction doesn't remind me that I end up lying, cheating, stealing, and manipulating others to keep feeding it. The Addiction doesn't remind me that I end up penniless, disheveled, dirty, unhygienic and eating any old thing on comps because I've gambled the rest of my money away. The Addiction doesn't remind me that I end up missing work, failing to keep up on duties, shirking responsibility, losing momentum at work, and losing out on countless opportunities.
The voice of the Addiction lies, cheats, steals, and manipulates. I can't wait until the day comes when I no longer hear its voice or no longer even acknowledge its existence.
I am going to read and re-read those words when my demons rear their ugly heads.