Sunay, I went up to check my mailbox in Woodland, then I stopped at the casino. I had no "Free money" on my card, but I had $125 in comps. So went to the casino boutique and spent $118 Then went and asked to be banned. The security came and told me "I will ask you the reason, if you say "Problem Gambling" this is a LIFETIME ban. You cannot come on the property, if found, you will be arrested, cited for criminal trespass. Do you understand?" I replied I did and he said "What's the reason?" I replied "Problem gambling"
So, I was banned for life, I then left with my stuff (Duffle bag, three coffee cups) and left there happy that this one avenue for gambling had been shut off from me for forever. I then attended GA that night. I didn't speak, they have changed methods and a few words (No mention of exact amounts of money as this can "Trigger" people. 3-5 minute what has happend to you as of late) so I really liked that.
Then I left and went home. This morning I got up and faced the first day of work. Ran myself good they did, but if this was the worst, I can handle it. My trainer was skipping about, as she had a "Trainee" who knew how to work and got right to it. They found out I had done a year in another Mold Injection plant in Iowa and suffered mean heat work in Missouri where temps were 105 degrees and even got up to 140 degrees (I was 85 feet from a powdercoat burner)
Now I don't think I could survive that amount now, but they knew I had toughed it out and so I did there. Only used 7 ibprofen. They had me on thee machines, but I ended up helping another worker on two more. So yeah, making a name for myself.
I chuckled just now thinking of the UI check I'll get tomorrow and had thought of going to the casino after a bill was paid from it. Nope, now I had closed that door and so guess it's going to a bill payment. So, I'll still have to fight the desires, but now it's a little bit easier knowing my "Go to" place is not open to me anymore.
I’ve been flying around in my head for the past couple of weeks. It’s like feeling a little bit crazy, I guess you could say. I’m okay, at least today I know I’m okay and grateful for that.Now I just feel old and silly for posting my craziness! But you know what? I’m not gambling, so I count all my crazy days in recovery as good ones.
A lot of false starts but I have to begin today. Stop shoplfting. It will unravel my life. I would risk arrest. The end of my career. A year of legal hassle as the courts are slow here. The end of my marriage. My luck will run out . I got away with begging stores for mercy a few times. I wont always be so lucky. Its a crazy form of gambling.I got to keep on top of the booze. Drink only...