Sunay, I went up to check my mailbox in Woodland, then I stopped at the casino. I had no "Free money" on my card, but I had $125 in comps. So went to the casino boutique and spent $118 Then went and asked to be banned. The security came and told me "I will ask you the reason, if you say "Problem Gambling" this is a LIFETIME ban. You cannot come on the property, if found, you will be arrested, cited for criminal trespass. Do you understand?" I replied I did and he said "What's the reason?" I replied "Problem gambling"
So, I was banned for life, I then left with my stuff (Duffle bag, three coffee cups) and left there happy that this one avenue for gambling had been shut off from me for forever. I then attended GA that night. I didn't speak, they have changed methods and a few words (No mention of exact amounts of money as this can "Trigger" people. 3-5 minute what has happend to you as of late) so I really liked that.
Then I left and went home. This morning I got up and faced the first day of work. Ran myself good they did, but if this was the worst, I can handle it. My trainer was skipping about, as she had a "Trainee" who knew how to work and got right to it. They found out I had done a year in another Mold Injection plant in Iowa and suffered mean heat work in Missouri where temps were 105 degrees and even got up to 140 degrees (I was 85 feet from a powdercoat burner)
Now I don't think I could survive that amount now, but they knew I had toughed it out and so I did there. Only used 7 ibprofen. They had me on thee machines, but I ended up helping another worker on two more. So yeah, making a name for myself.
I chuckled just now thinking of the UI check I'll get tomorrow and had thought of going to the casino after a bill was paid from it. Nope, now I had closed that door and so guess it's going to a bill payment. So, I'll still have to fight the desires, but now it's a little bit easier knowing my "Go to" place is not open to me anymore.
It's been 2 years since my last post...and my gambling addiction is just as fierce and out of control. I'm back to 2 months behind on my mortgage, electric and gas..credit cards, pretty much everything. I am out of control no matter what I win it just goes all back. I have tried ga, therapy and can go for a few months and start up again. I feel so defeated like there is no way out. After a binge...
Well I have never been so happy to go to work. Kept me busy and my mind occupied from all the turmoil I created because of my gambling. I still feel very anxious and feel like hyperventilating but at least the episodes were not as frequent today. I spoke to a therapist for an intake over the phone today. I was able to get an appointment with a psychologist next week. I feel I have so much bottled...