Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
My sister and I did everything together but when she had gotten a boyfriend and my boyfriend left me, things took a turn with gambling for the worse. We both went to the casino together, being accountable for each other, however she couldn’t find time for me anymore and I started going alone. I was missing something and kept going. it had gotten out of hand and still is.
We both are gamblers, but her boyfriend now holds her accountable as well as she still goes but her adult kids go with her and they hold her accountable too. I go alone because they exclude me out of gambling as well as other activities which makes me feel even lonelier. I have two kids 16 and 22 but at that age they don’t want to spend time with mommy all the time, which gives me a lot of free time because I’m not dating nor do i have a lot of friends. I have gone to casino once with my eldest and told her never to comeback because my family has additive behavior but I have told them about me because they are two young to understand.
Nonetheless I confided in my sister the other day about banning myself on Friday the 10th( the time I have to go) and asked her to go with me. I pleaded with her my shame and told her not to tell anyone. This morning she said she told her boyfriend, telling him my secret was not hers to tell. I feel so ashamed, embarrassed and I don’t want her to go with me. I realize that sometimes other people actions do affect you because my sister and I was very close and i confided in her a lot about my life, everything embarrassments and all. but now she tells her kids, boyfriend and now I hold all of my shame inside of me. I used to talk about my losses with her, now i lie and say I won, or i say i loss 100 when i loss 1000.
I am so tired of this i want cry. I'm going to be strong because I know what I have to do. I just need everyone support because I don’t have it at home.
please pray for me
You’re doing this for you. When you feel the desire to change your life for the better you’re on the road to recovery. Please don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, you’re the one who matters.
One day at a time is the way to recovery
Today I will not gamble
and now the work of creating a life that is attractive and fun and worthwhile begins.
I can so relate to being lonely, and being ashamed, and being hopeless --- all this exasperated by the gambling. The gambling seemed the perfect solution -- I could go alone and not feel lonely (had my casino friends haha fairweather addicts or workers there), it was acceptable, it filled my hours - it WASTED my hours, my life away, it removed me from any care to create a good life.
So here we are. It is painful to really look at the rubble and try to come up w/ a vision of what I want my life to look like. It will take effort, and some enthusiasm. There will be misses, but there will be progress too.
You should be proud you were honest w/ your sister. She broke your confidence (I remember someone telling me when you tell someone a deep dark secret count on them telling at least one other person) -- that is hard, but she may have needed to hear your truth to even help in her own struggle.
And you EXCLUDED! That is huge. Was a major help for me to stay clean. An awesome tool - now becomes re creating a life you love.
best to you today
"but I have told them about me because they are two young to understand.
In my experience, 16 and 22 year olds can be pretty sophisticated, I suspect you are not hiding it from them as well as you think you are. If they don't know they probably know that something is wrong. The treatment for problem gambling is paid for in my state for the gambler AND their loved ones and in fact I was in treatment with a 22 year old and her mother who were the loved ones of a gambler that had not quit. Addiction of any kind often has roots in family of origin, unresolved grief, loss, feelings of abandonment or abuse by a loved one. It can still be recovered from - all is not lost, no matter how low you have gone, someone who got lower is living in recovery. Hang in there