The words I said to myself when I finally admitted that I had a problem. "I am afraid of myself." Did I stop doing the insane behavior after I realized I was deep? NOPE, not really, just lied to myself. I wanted to stop feeling bad, I wanted to stop losing money, and I wanted to hold onto the idea that one day I would be a person that could gamble just for fun. I needed to take a break and then I could go back to a casino and walk away with money and not give it all back. NOPE, Lets be real if we are addicted that is not going to happen. Right? As much as we wish it could happen it is not going to.
There are people on here that have great advice as how to stay way from gambling. Do what they say to do, work at staying away.
If I am honest with myself, I didn't really work at it. I just whined when I lost money, but in the back of my head I was thinking.... someday I will be a winner again. Someday I will collect. I had to be thinking that, because I would eventually act on that thought.
The other day I read, (What is God's address? He lives at the "end of your rope.") For me............... it was a "wow" moment.
I am at the end of my rope. I thought I was at the end of my rope last year, but no this is the end of the rope. I have to want a new life so bad that I will run after it instead of run after the pipe dream.
That dream of winning big, is only going to get us sick.
Where is the end of the rope for you? The real end?
Change will come when we want it bad enough.
There is help,

I kept going back and repeating the same insanity for most of 2 decades. With a few breaks wrangled through various self-control efforts.
But those false beliefs I had drove my behavior. (If you change the belief you can change the behavior.) False beliefs I had were:
1) I can be a social gambler again.
2) I can get ahead by gambling.
3) Gambling is a harmless source of entertainment and relaxation.
4) Gambling is fun.
5) Gambling relieves stress.

When I really looked at those five beliefs, NONE of them were really true for me.
Also I had to first decide that I deserved a better life.

Work the program.reach out to family and friends for support callinfor Wednesday's meeting. You can do this. You need to remind yourself that life without gambling is what you need. Reach out to others...I am here to talk you out if need be. There is a better life for all of us. Just meditate on how the shame and guilt weigh you down once you leave. That is what is getting me active in my recovery. I never want to feel that despair ever again.