Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
First I will start off by saying I am over 4 months gamble free. Here is my problem. There is only one GA in my area and every time I go there there is this horrible women there who is very rude to me. When we were going around the room reading out of the yellow book she actually skipped me. And when she wa picking peoples names to share she of course picked me last, I was surprised she even let me share at all. I went there 8 months ago while I was still gambling and she was very rude to me then so I never went back. So I thought I would try it again and same thing. I don't know her and cannot think of why she is acting like this. She is normal to everyone else. I go to another support group but I am the only gambler there so they don't really relate. The next closest meeting for me is an hour away? So should I go back?
As you are in a small town, could it be that she knew you were still gambling, (seen you, knows of you, or used to gamble near you), hence had some prejudices about you. Perhaps she needs to be reminded that the only requirement to go to a GA meeting is the DESIRE to quit.
Could your perceptions have been slightly askew? Mine were kinda squirrely until I was off gambling for 3-4 months.
With just one meeting it is hard to judge if indeed it is you that she has a problem with, perhaps it was a very bad day for her and you were the safest person for her to punish, as she had no investment in you so far as she didn't know you.. There are other things that could have been her problem besides you. Is she having her own issues with significant others, children or finances, hormones, health in general or relapse? Do you look like her hated ex-mother-in-law? Are you related to someone she does not like? (All of those things are her problem, not yours.)
Next, you deserve a support group and a chance to get well like everyone else does. People who run GA are not often counselors and their own issues can get in the way. I would not only give the meeting another shot, if I felt the same way, I would talk to this lady afterward, privately, about finding some way to treat each other with respect so that we can both get what we need for support. If that did not improve the situation I would talk to the GA folks that are up-line of this group. There should be a county or regional organization, if not you have a state level GA group. You are doing this lady a favor and all the people who may come after you if you fight to help this lady, this group and yourself become more functional in a healthy way.
It is not healthy to be rude, hostile or passive-aggressive toward others and it is not good for you just to cave in to being bullied. I can understand that you may be reluctant to fight that battle and you may choose to travel the hour to go to the further away meeting. If it was just not a fluke or a bad day for that lady, the same battle will need to happen someday, by someone for that lady and that group to evolve. Perhaps you can find the strength to confront for the innocent gamblers that will come after you. If you can confront this and make progress toward inclusiveness and respect within the group it would be a wonderful act of giving back not only to the other newcomers yet to arrive, but you may be the catalyst that lady needs in order to be a better person.
There is also the option of starting another group at a different time and or day.