Do I hold onto any resentments? To be true, I do. Not sure why, but I am trying to slowly figure it out, and when I start to feel any, I am aware of it, and I ask my higher power to help me forgive and move on. Who am I to judge anyone? I go either way, I'm a martyr or a hero, there isn't much middle ground for me, at least there hasn't been before my recovery. Middle meaning, peaceful days.

In my recovery, I have decided, at least for me, to be very aware of my emotions, my actions, to eliminate as much "drama" as possible, to be honest, most of the drama was self inflicted, or at best, I would put myself in a position to be some how in the middle of the drama.

Perfect excuse to run to the casino. Last night someone gave me 600 stack of 20's, they owed me. Before my recovery, I would have taken the cash, since it was cash, and gone to the casino, it was easier than getting money out of the ATM. Of course, I would end up at the ATM sooner or later. Day 59 for me today, and although I don't have the urge to go and place a bet, I know, I'm one step away if I don't continue to allow my recovery to take priority over anything else.

I won't bore you with the details, but I will admit this week I was challenged with some drama and slight resentments, but rather than play into it, I have opted to turn it over, to do the day and put a smile on my face. The world, at least my world, isn't always sunshine and roses, but, I did wake up, my feet did hit the ground this morning, and I haven't placed a bet in 59 days! Its a good day!