I was gambling-free for a good long while -- over a year -- and then started in again. A little here, a little there. Nothing like the mad benders that sent me to hypnotists and then GA. Life intervened -- I was too busy to gamble for a while. Then I thought, what's the harm? A scratcher here, a scratcher there -- no worries, right?
Well, I thought I'd post tonight because I had one of those experiences -- perhaps you've had them. Those experiences where the people around you in the gambling environment are looking at you with pity in their eyes. A silent message of, "you've clearly got a problem; take care of yourself."
i'm embarrassed because, while i am by no means rich or even well-off, i am sometimes gambling what must seem like very tidy sums of money around people who don't seem to have a lot. it shames me. it's a good sort of shame, i think. of course, sometimes it enrages me when people seem to know i'm a little out of control in this department, but underneath it all, i am truly glad. like tonight. i left this lottery place in a very poor neighborhood and a guy there looked at me meaningfully and said something like, "take care of yourself."
it was both embarrassing and helpful. just wanted to share that. we're all at different points along the journey and i found that small comment of his something of a lifeline. may you all have someone like that in your midst if you're ever tempted to forget that you are indeed a compulsive gambler!