Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Good Afternoon Folks
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
All my life I searched for what would bring me happiness, traveling many roads, fast and slow. Most of the roads I chose were easier, softer ways, but the destinations were unsatisfying. I always turned back and chose another - again the easiest road to travel. I thought they were short cuts, but instead they swung wide of my goals. When I finally came to Gamblers Anonymous, it was the only road left for me.
In spite of an occasional pot-hole or speed bump, am I convinced that I'm at last on the right road? Do I travel the GA way willingly?
Today I Pray
Today I wake up with a choice. Are my actions and thoughts taking me on that road to relapse, or am I talking and walking the road of recovery? May I ask my Higher Power for directions, because I am no longer the sole guide of my life. May I ask no other road-sign of progress than a smile I can honestly mean and a clear eye and a mind that can, at last, touch reality. May my own joy be my answer to my question, "Have I chosen the right road?"
Today I Will Remember
Miracles mark our progress. Who needs more?
Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the rewards that would be mine when I first contemplated turning my life and will over to the care of God as I understood Him. Now I can rejoice in the blessing of my own recovery, as well as the recoveries of countless others who have found hope and a new way of life in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. After all the years of waste and terror, I realize today that God has always been on my side and at my side.
Isn't my clearer understanding of God's will one of the best things that has happened to me?
Today I Pray
May I be thankful for the blessed contrast between the way my life used to be (Part I) and the way it is now (Part II). In Part I, I was the practicing gambler, with an insatiable hunger to be in action, adrift among my fears and delusions. In Part II, I am the recovering compulsive gambler, rediscovering my emotions, accepting my responsibilities, learning what the real world has to offer. Without the contrast, I could never feel the joy I know today or sense the peaceful nearness of my Higher Power.
Today I Will Remember
I am grateful for such a contrast.
There are countless ways by which my progress and growth in the Gamblers Anonymous Program can be measured. One of the most important is my awareness that I'm no longer compelled, almost obsessively, to go around judging everything and everybody. My only business today is to work on changing myself, rather than other people, places, and things. In its own way, the obsession of being forever judgmental was as burdensome to me as the obsession of my gambling; I'm grateful that both weights have been lifted from my shoulders.
When I become judgmental, will I remind myself that I am trespassing on God's territory?
Today I Pray
Forgive me my trespasses, when I have become the self-proclaimed judge-and-jury of my peers. By being judgmental, I have trespassed on the rights of others to judge themselves - and on the rights of God in the Highest Court of all. May I throw away all my judgmental tools - my own yardstick and measuring tapes, my own comparisons, my unreachable standards - and accept each person as an individual beyond compare.
Today I Will Remember
Throw away old tapes - especially measuring tapes.
Before I admitted my powerlessness over gambling, I had as much self-worth as a "peeled zero." I came into Gamblers Anonymous as a nobody who desperately wanted to be a somebody. In retrospect, my self-esteem was shredded, seemingly beyond repair. Gradually, the Program has enabled me to achieve an ever stronger sense of self-worth. I've come to accept myself, realizing that I'm not as bad as I had always supposed myself to be.
Am I learning that my self-worth is not dependent on the approval of others, but instead is truly an "inside job"?
Today I Pray
When I am feeling down and worthless, may my Higher Power and my friends in the group help me see that, although I was "fallen," I was not "cast down." However sick I might have been in my gambling days, with all the self-esteem of an earthworm, may I know that I still had the power of choice. And I chose to do something about myself. May that good choice be the basis for my reactivated self-worth.
Today I Will Remember
I will not kick myself when I'm down.
There's a world of difference between the idea of self-love and love of self. Self-love is a reflection of an inflated ego, around which - in our distorted view of our own self-importance - everything must revolve. Self-love is the breeding ground for hostility, arrogance, and a host of other characters defects that blind us to any points of view but our own. Love of self, in contrast, is an appreciation of our dignity and value as human beings. Love of self is an expression of self-realization, from which springs humility.
Do I believe I can love others best when I have gained love of self?
Today I Pray May God, who loves me, teach me to love myself. May I notice that the most arrogant and officious humans are not so completely sure of themselves, after all. Instead, they are apt to have a painfully low self-image, an insecurity that they cloak in pomp and princely trappings. May God show me that when I can like myself, I am duly crediting Him, since every living thing is a work of God.
Today I Will Remember I will try to like myself.
"Not all those who know their minds know their hearts as well," wrote La Rochefoucauld. The Gamblers Anonymous Program is of inestimable value for those of us recovering compulsive gamblers who want to know ourselves and who are courageous enough to seek growth through self-examination and self-improvement. If I remain honest, open-minded, and willing, The GA Program will enable me to rid myself of my self-deceptive attitudes and character flaws that for so long prevented me from growing into the kind of person I want to be.
Do I try to help others understand GA's Twelve Steps of Recovery? Do I carry the message by example?
Today I Pray
I ask God's blessing for the Gamblers Anonymous Fellowship, which has shown me so much about myself that I was not willing to face on my own. May I have the courage to be confronted and to confront, not only to be honest for honesty's sake - which may be reason enough - but to allow myself and the others in the group to grow in self-knowledge.
Today I Will Remember
We are mirrors of each other.
"One's own self is well hidden from one's own self," a renowned philosopher once wrote. "Of all mines of treasure, one's own is the last to be dug up." The Gamblers Anonymous Twelve Steps of Recovery have enabled me to unearth my "own self," the one that for so long was buried beneath my desperate need for approval from others. Thanks to the Gamblers Anonymous Program and my Higher Power, I've begun acquiring a true sense of self and a comfortable sense of confidence. No longer do I have to react chameleon-like, changing my color from one moment to the next, fruitlessly trying to be all things to all people.
Do I strive at all times to be true to myself?
Today I Pray
I pray that I may be honest with myself, and that I will continue - with the help of God and my friends - to try to get to know the real me. May I know that I cannot suddenly be a pulled-together, totally defined, completely consistent personality; it may take a while to develop into that personality, to work out my values and my priorities. May I know now that I have a good start on being who I want to be.
Today I Will Remember
I'm getting to be who I want to be.
"You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn't reserve a plot for weeds," - Dag Hammerskjold. If I want to keep my garden tidy, I must always remember not to save a place for weeds and then be caught off-guard. By putting myself in tempting situations, following the odds or point spreads, checking the lottery payoff, or even listening to my old friends talk, I may be reserving a plot for weeds to grow.
Do I know now that if suddenly I am given or receive money for which I am not accountable, only weeds will spring forth from this situation?
Today I Pray
May I spend more time weeding, fertilizing, and expanding the plots that yield crops of happiness, joy, peace, and serenity, rather than setting aside weed plots for misery, pain, and suffering. May I not forget that those weeds will always be ready to grow unless I am a watchful gardener.
Today I Will Remember
We reap whatever we sow.
My gambling addiction was like a thief in more ways than I can count. It robbed me not only of money, property, and other material things, but of dignity and self-respect, while my family and friends suffered right along with me. Gambling also robbed me of the ability to treat myself properly, as God would treat me. Today, in total contrast, I'm capable of true love of self - to the extent that I'm able to provide myself with more love than even I need. So I give that love away to other people in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, just as they have given their love to me.
Do I thank God for bringing me to a Program in which sick people are loved back to health?
Today I Pray
Thanks be to God for a way of life that generates such love and caring that we in the GA Program can't help but learn to love ourselves. When I see that someone cares about me, I am more apt to be convinced that perhaps I am, after all, worth caring about. May I be conscious always of the love I am now able to give - and give it.
Today I Will Remember
Someone caring about me makes me feel worth caring about.
From time to time when I see the slogan "There, but for the Grace of God Go I," I remember how I used to mouth those words when I saw others whose gambling addiction had brought them to what I considered a "hopeless and helpless" state. The slogan had long been a cop-out for me, reinforcing my denial of my own addiction by enabling me to point to others seemingly worse off than I . "If I ever get like that , I'll quit gambling," was my often-repeated refrain. Today, instead,There, but for the Grace ofGod Go Ihas become my prayer of thankfulness, reminding me to be grateful to my Higher Power for my recovery, my life, and the way of life I've found in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.
Was anyone ever more "helpless and hopeless" than I?
Today I Pray
May I know that, but for the grace of God, I could be dead or insane by now, because there have been others who started on the path of addictive gambling when I did who are no longer here. May that same grace of God help those who are still caught in the downward spin, who are heading for disaster as sure as gravity.
Today I Will Remember
I have seen God's amazing grace.
The Gamblers Anonymous Program's Fourth Step suggests that we make a fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves. For many of us, especially newcomers, the task seems impossible. Each time we take pencil in hand and try to look inward, Pride says scoffingly, "You don't have to bother to look." And Fear cautions, "You'd better not look! " Eventually we find that pride and fear are mere wisps of smoke, the cloudy strands from which were woven the mythology of our old ideas. When we push pride and fear aside and finally make a fearless inventory, we experience relief and a new sense of confidence beyond description.
Have I made an inventory? Have I shared its rewards so as to encourage others?
Today I Pray
May I not be stalled by my inhibitions when it comes to making a moral inventory of myself. May I not get to the Fourth Step and then screech to a stop because the task seems overwhelming. May I know that my inventory today, even though I try to make it "thorough" and honest, may not be as complete as it will be if I repeat it again, for the process of self-discovery goes on and on.
Today I Will Remember
Praise God for progress.
I never cease to be amazed at how appropriate the topic at meetings I attend seems to be in relation to my life at that particular time. We can only become students in the presence of a teacher - and when a student becomes ready, a teacher will appear. We can only learn if we are being taught, and we can only teach after we learn. I have come to realize that, although God is the greatest teacher of them all, most often we learn from others He has taught.
Do I learn when I listen? Do I share what I learn?
Today I Pray
May I not forget those all-important lessons learned in Gamblers Anonymous. In GA we are all students, and we are all teachers. May I know that if I do not continue to learn, it may be because I'm not willing to be a student. If I am not sharing, it may be that I need to be open to more learning.
Today I Will Remember
If I remain teachable, I will continue to find teachers.
Virtually all of us suffered the defect of pride when we sought help through the Program, the Twelve Steps, and the Fellowship of recovering compulsive gamblers who truly understood what we felt and where we had been. We learned about our shortcomings - and of pride in particular - and began to replace self-satisfaction with gratitude for the miracle of our recovery, gratitude for the privilege of working with others, and gratitude for God's gift, which enabled us to turn catastrophe into growth and good fortune.
Have I begun to realize that "pride is to character as the attic is to the house - the highest part, and generally the most empty"?
Today I Pray
God, please tell me if I am banging my shins on my own pride. Luckily for me, the Gamblers Anonymous Program has its own built-in check for flaws like this - the clear-eyed vision of the group, which sees in me what I sometimes cannot see myself. May I know that any kind of success has always gone straight to my head, and be watching for it as I begin to reconstruct my confidence.
Today I Will Remember
Smug "success" can become a setback.
When I'm motivated by pride - by bondage of self - I become partly or even wholly blind to my liabilities and shortcomings. At that point, the last thing I need is comfort. Instead I need an understanding friend in the Gamblers Anonymous Program - a friend who'll unhesitatingly chop a hole through the wall my ego has built so that the light of reason can once again shine through.
Do I take time to review my progress, to spot-check myself on a daily basis, and to promptly try to remedy my wrongs?
Today I Pray
I pray that the group - or just one friend - will be honest enough to see my slippery manifestations of pride and brave enough to tell me about them. My self-esteem was starved for so long that, with my first successes in the GA Program, it may swell to the gross proportions of self-satisfaction. May a view from outside myself give me a true picture of how I am handling the triumph of my abstinence - with grateful humility or with pride.
Today I Will Remember
Self-esteem or self-satisfaction?
The mystery of ego: painful when inflated and painful to deflate, often keeping me from wholeheartedly working the Gamblers Anonymous Program. Even armed with the truth, I too often fall back on the old, familiar ideas that led me to the edge of despair. It takes such work to shrink the ego, and sometimes it inflates without my knowing it. I always thought my gambling systems would work; they never did. I doubted GA would work; and it has one day at a time.
Am I willing, just for today, to release those old ideas and count on the GA way?
Today I Pray
May I know that a puffed-up ego is inappropriate for me as a recovering compulsive gambler. It hides my faults from me. It turns people off and gets in the way of my helping others. It halts my progress because it makes me think Ive done enough self-searching and Im cured. I pray to my Higher Power that I may be realistic enough to accept my success in the GA Program without giving in to pride.
Today I Will Remember
Pride can halt progress.