Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
So, I had something happen that I have not experienced in my recovery.
Yesterday, I took my mom to the dentist, she was getting a major procedure done, 6 hour long procedure, so I wanted to be with her. As I was sitting there, with her and her dentist, I looked over and saw a familiar face, I couldn't quite place it,,,, then I realized, it was a guy that I used to play poker with, at a card room. He was brutal to play with, he was a "high roller" that would intimidate the hell out of me when I played with him. He saw me, and we both went "I know you" and we both realized from where. He said he hadn't seen me for awhile, and I told him, I quit. The other people in the office all jumped on board and stated he goes all of the time, he is the other dentist in that office. I'm not kidding, the second I saw him, I started to shake, my body literally froze in terror, and I couldn't figure out why. In my gamble days, I never ran into people that I played with, for hours, and hours, and days and days. They weren't like "people" to me, they were at the same table I would be at, they were different to me, they weren't "real."
Seeing this guy, brought back, actually flooded back memories for me, that really shock me up. But, I also realized, that the people that sat at those tables with me are real people, just like me, some of them still suffering, some of them, maybe they don't have the addiction, but they are real people. The interaction happened in front of my mom, who simply smiled when I told this guy I had quit playing poker.
I am not sure why I started to shake when I saw him, I had a combination of shame, embarrassed and maybe a bit of fear when I saw him, it reminded me of the all one nighters I would pull when I went to that specific card room, the hours and hours of time, I spent playing with what was then, a perfect stranger. He's a dentist, he lives in my area, and he still plays. Its not for me to say if he has a problem with gambling, but I can tell you, he reminded me I do, I did, and I'm beyond grateful for where I am today, in my recovery.
He's a dentist, I'm a real estate broker, a daughter, a sister, a mother... I just don't gamble anymore.
xoxoxo
Yesterday, I took my mom to the dentist, she was getting a major procedure done, 6 hour long procedure, so I wanted to be with her. As I was sitting there, with her and her dentist, I looked over and saw a familiar face, I couldn't quite place it,,,, then I realized, it was a guy that I used to play poker with, at a card room. He was brutal to play with, he was a "high roller" that would intimidate the hell out of me when I played with him. He saw me, and we both went "I know you" and we both realized from where. He said he hadn't seen me for awhile, and I told him, I quit. The other people in the office all jumped on board and stated he goes all of the time, he is the other dentist in that office. I'm not kidding, the second I saw him, I started to shake, my body literally froze in terror, and I couldn't figure out why. In my gamble days, I never ran into people that I played with, for hours, and hours, and days and days. They weren't like "people" to me, they were at the same table I would be at, they were different to me, they weren't "real."
Seeing this guy, brought back, actually flooded back memories for me, that really shock me up. But, I also realized, that the people that sat at those tables with me are real people, just like me, some of them still suffering, some of them, maybe they don't have the addiction, but they are real people. The interaction happened in front of my mom, who simply smiled when I told this guy I had quit playing poker.
I am not sure why I started to shake when I saw him, I had a combination of shame, embarrassed and maybe a bit of fear when I saw him, it reminded me of the all one nighters I would pull when I went to that specific card room, the hours and hours of time, I spent playing with what was then, a perfect stranger. He's a dentist, he lives in my area, and he still plays. Its not for me to say if he has a problem with gambling, but I can tell you, he reminded me I do, I did, and I'm beyond grateful for where I am today, in my recovery.
He's a dentist, I'm a real estate broker, a daughter, a sister, a mother... I just don't gamble anymore.
xoxoxo
We are indeed the lucky ones.
I'm part Asian, so I was thinking she was racist or something, and then I remembered.
We used to play electronic blackjack together, side-by-side. We used to wager the max, 100 $5 chips, and watch excitedly as the "cards" flipped over. We used to yell at the machines together. We shared in the excitement, the joy, the pleasure.
Except we both must've lost. I know I'm down about $60K lifetime and she, a woman well into her seventies, was apparently kicked out of retirement. And did not welcome me with open arms either.
Casinos destroy lives. Gambling is a disease for those of us who have issues with it.