sorry its never having a pot to piss in! Typing fast because i was so emotional about my destruction my gambling has done to me!

Stay cool - you're on the RIGHT track, cathyio!
I do know the feelings, though... Just keep staying away...
Smokey

OMG...I could have written this a few months ago! I was too depressed to hate anything then though..... except myself! I did go through an angry phase and then that turned into a hopeless phase before I quit.

Four + months out and this is how it's changed for me and it can change for you.

I've mostly stopped telling lies
I always have some money in my pocket
I have faced my bills and am filing BK
Still don't answer the phone
I am home for my children and better yet present (instead of wanting to be somewhere else)
I can sleep at night - hallelujah this is a huge one for me
I can focus on work
I have sex - when i wasn't having any before
I'm still snappy but for other reasons...lol
still somewhat preoccupied with bills but calm about it
I have my first doctor's appt in 4 years scheduled for this week - dentist to follow next month.

I also have health and car insurance, I let that lapse so many times and just crossed my fingers nothing would happen. That was stressful. I also have discovered a deeper relationship with my partner after I quit acting like I was wonder woman and admitted my failures. I have been humbled and that's a good thing.
I have no special skills or special strengths that helped me make it almost 5 months. If I can do it, anyone can.

OMG...I could have written this a few months ago! I was too depressed to hate anything then though..... except myself! I did go through an angry phase and then that turned into a hopeless phase before I quit.

Four + months out and this is how it's changed for me and it can change for you.

I've mostly stopped telling lies
I always have some money in my pocket
I have faced my bills and am filing BK
Still don't answer the phone
I am home for my children and better yet present (instead of wanting to be somewhere else)
I can sleep at night - hallelujah this is a huge one for me
I can focus on work
I have sex - when i wasn't having any before
I'm still snappy but for other reasons...lol
still somewhat preoccupied with bills but calm about it
I have my first doctor's appt in 4 years scheduled for this week - dentist to follow next month.

I also have health and car insurance, I let that lapse so many times and just crossed my fingers nothing would happen. That was stressful. I also have discovered a deeper relationship with my partner after I quit acting like I was wonder woman and admitted my failures. I have been humbled and that's a good thing.
I have no special skills or special strengths that helped me make it almost 5 months. If I can do it, anyone can.

All the thing that came along with VICKY'S addiction:
*loss of hundreds of thousands of dollars because of my addiction. So dont think it was to get money. I did it for the "high"!
*LIES!!!
*Broke ALWAYS!!!!!
*Hide the bills EVEN FROM MYSELF.
* Run to answer the phone first
*Humiliated on a daily basis, Lost any Reputation or self-Respect
* ALways late for my children!!! due to being in hell; made kids walk from school few miles under hot AZ sun, never had money for books or events; or food many times
* Looking like shit because im too stressed to sleep!!!
* Kept 3 jobs, but bad job performance!!
* Hating and yelling at my husband because im pissed at the world
* snappy with the kids for no reason
* Always preoccupied on how I have to pay utilities or food
* Never going to dentist or doctor

I DON'T CARE ABOUT FUCKING GAMBLING!!!!! THE END!!!!

Here! You are not alone in what you went through being an Addict, what gambling addiction did to you. And I make tons of typing, and grammatic mistakes too All the time.

IT DOES GET BETTER!

If you cut the cord and let yourself to grow up and look at it differently, things will change.
Look at being an addict as a blessing, I know it sounds strange, but... We are blessed, because we learn to understand and appreciate people or feelings or things way different then "normal" people do. There is so much hidden constructive energy in us, which comes out during healthy recovery. Some of us just had to come through this journey to come closer to ourselfs and to come closer to God. We learned to value...
You are blessed... I am blessed... After that first wave of separation anxiety from Gambling (Our False "God"), crazy withdrawals, crying and pain... You'll see the Sun and Things Will Get Better!
Because,
*You are not alone!
*You deserve it!
*You are honest to yourself!
*You are strong, even if you don't feel it right now
*You are a good mother!
*You are beautifull!
*Have time for resting, better performing and going to see growth at the job!
*You will have improved relationship with your loved one, not running from him, but looking at him and loving.
*Financial stability is Real!
*Develope Healthy Habits!
I am Fucking Loving Myself and I deserve It!! The End!

Cathyo, I am with you!
One breath at a time, One Day at a time!
Miracles Do Happen!

Love, Vicky

OMG guys, i am so with you. Been trying to wake up from this nightmare only to realize that i was not dreaming. All stuff that was posted applies to me as well, crap!!!!!!

BS really!!!! BUT, we can do it! Let's fight to have our life back!