How wonderful. Keep tabs on the way you feel. I am so happy for you.
You have been given a great gift!

hello mcdphnurse. i think anger is a good emotion in gambling recovery. i guess these places have robbed us of so much time,money,happiness etc... that its almost impossible to not be angry.i find as time passes i somehow start to forgive the casino and all the anger it caused me. i wish i could just bottle up the anger and unleash it back on myself when the desire to return hits me. What a crazy addiction this is. it somehow convinces us to return thinking this time will be different. i often get so angry that they even opened a casino 5 minutes from me. now they just opened another casino 15 minutes from me. there are now 4 casino in about a 25 mile radius. It feels like the government has no concern at all for compulsive gamblers. Gona be a casino on every corner soon it seems like. i better sign off im getting angry just thinking about it. haha well lets all stay angry at these places and never return! take care everyone Johnny

I'm with you guys and gals! I'm so angry at the gambling industry, and it's better than being angry at myself for gambling! 4 casinos in a 25 mile radius? Crazy! That just tells you how profitable they are and how many people get sucked in to be able to support all of them. For each of us on DS there are probably hundreds of thousands of addicts running around feeding those casinos, all hoping to "win", when there is so little chance of that happening. My therapist last time I quit said "I think of people playing slot machines like rats in the experiments they do. Pushing that button hoping for a little tidbit of gratification". that made me stop for a while back then.

my anger toward the government and masterminds behind slot machines has definitely helped me NOT gamble this time. And I have missed my life, everything about it that I neglected while gambling. Having goals, spending more time with my kids and REALLY tuning in to them, volunteering at my son's school, tending to my flowers, it all feels so good to do and not have that nagging urge to go gamble. I have so much more time and cash to do those things that really make me feel good! Congrats and lets keep thinking this way!!!

Let's stay angry! Man Johnny, I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation. 4 casinos, wow. I am close to one which is about 15miles but I signed out of it. The other casinos here are about 45mins away and for some reason there is a smell/odor of those casinos as soon as the doors open, I can't seem to stand that smell and won't go into them. The really only close one is about 4 1/2hrs away. Can you sign out of those casinos? The one casino I had freq. visited was so difficult for me to stay out of that the only way for me to be sure I wouldn't be tempted was to sign out. This has made a big difference in my ability to gamble. I really wish you luck.

Day: I am moving on with my life. I did my first boot camp last night and it kick my ....... It felt good to really do something that was going to benefit me in the long run. My goal is to lose 50-60lbs by next May. It sounds like you have yourself in a good place. Keep it up. Jackie

hello again . yes it can be tough to stay away.. 2 of the casinos are in canada.... so im not as tempted by them. that is where i first started gambling many moons ago. then they opened a indian casino on the u.s side of the bridge. that has been nothing but disaster for me last 10 yrs . now less than a month ago buffalo got a casino too. i think its their intentions to break everyone. i have wanted to ban myself 100 times but never officially did. i try to limit access to money . no atm card and always deposit most of money in bank . has helped alot. well best wishes everyone in staying away. take care. johnny.

Daydreamer, I have often thought the same thing as your therapist! Because casino's are ultimately the product of the results of those experiments! They analyzed the research, designed the machines AND the layout and internal processes of the casinos in order to capitalize on our desire (and then need!) for the pleasure centers of our brains to be stimulated! And for some, it becomes an addiction!
From Wikipedia about pleasure centers:
Rats in Skinner boxes with metal electrodes implanted into their nucleus accumbens will repeatedly press a lever which activates this region, and will do so in preference over food and water, eventually dying from exhaustion. In rodent physiology, scientists reason that the medial forebrain bundle is the pleasure center of rats. If a rat is given the choice between stimulating the forebrain or eating, it will choose stimulation to the point of exhaustion.[6]

Now, if the rat had the information we have, that we were being manipulated and our weaknesses were being preyed upon AND capitalized on, then there would be a rat population on DS!

Also, what you said about enjoying the real pleasures of life hit home with me big time! One of the things this addiction did to me was take away the joy of anything in my life EXCEPT gambling! That was all I really wanted to do. I'd be with my kids, or at an event, and all I really wanted to do was leave and go to the casino. I wasn't present in my life, my mind was always either at the casino or distracted by thoughts of how I was going to cover my losses. Once I rediscovered enjoyment in non gambling activities, I was blown away by how much time I had wasted sitting in front of a stupid machine. But I think it takes time for the brain to relearn how to experience pleasure without the button pushing...

Well said, resolved! Isn't it crazy how so many people can have so similar experiences, with this and probably every addiction out there. when I drive by the little video lottery joints all over my neighborhood (where I did most of my gambling), I now feel bad for the people whose cars are sitting outside. I don't judge them, but I do feel bad for them. It's only been a month since I was one of them. The frustration and other bad feelings I now associate with gambling are still so fresh for me.

I am with you guys! The same sentiments but with one goal, to be released from this debilitating disease! Not easy but doable!

Lets face tomorrow with a new you! A new us! Come on, we can do it! Fight!

Yes we can!

D

It has been a few days since I have posted. I am G/F x 2wks and and still not wanting to set foot in a casino again. Resolved, you really hit the nail on the head with what you said about not enjoying life because being consumed with the thoughts of gambling. I was also that person. My thoughts were how soon could I get to the casino and then after the loss I was consumed and so depressed about how I was going to cover my losses. I have turned my life around and started doing things that are much more positive like exercise, eating healthy and staying away from alcohol. I am soooo much happier with these feelings I never want to feel anxious, depressed and feeling like I am trapped in a body and mind of someone I don't recognize anymore. The thought of gambling does come in to my mind but I think about those feelings that are so awful that I take it to a better spot like money in the bank and not having to lie or cheat. I am so happy. Good luck to all of you. We all can stay gambling free by remembering the bad times and how good we feel when we are in control of ourselves.

this is great. How long have you been gamble free?

I like the 'angry' part that everyone is posting about, but I wish I had a nickel (uh-oh!) for every time I felt that way, resolved to never gamble again, and then got my hands on some 'extra' money and went anyhow. I don't mean to be a 'Debbie Downer' -- that's just the way it's been for me over the last (nearly) 15 years. I think it's just easy to forget what happened last time and one falls into the mental trap of thinking - always - that this time will be different. I think what I - and others - really need to remember is that we can never get back the time and money lost and that even a million-dollar jackpot would not make up for that. Still, it's hard, as the fantasy of winning big 'this time' is what always gets me back there.

Yes its amazing how quickly we can forgive and forget about the hurt that the casino and slot machines have caused us. It could be because our anger is directed at non living things - slot machines and casino buildings - that make our anger and hurt subside so quickly.

I am so proud of you! It is indeed a wonderful feeling when you're able to pay bills again and not have to lie. I've been in your place and I hope to never do that again. I wish all the best for you!