Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I wrote a post on Friday in regards an all nighter I had at the casino Thursday night after a month of staying away. But, that didn't stop me to go again on Saturday after some heavy drinking while being out with some friends.
I am not sure how to make myself stop while im drinking. I feel I am the complete opposite when im sober. I have always paid my bills on time, and taking care of debt, but recently, due to the loss of my job a couple months ago (company layoffs), the gambling has taken a toll on my savings.
Some one on the last post mentioned self banning. I wish it worked because i have self banned myself and still have been able to gamble and mingle wit h staff. I just make sure to never give my id or legal name.
I would have not figured it out, unless I had taken a drunken chance months ago.
I know by going there, I could potentially face legal issues but since I have done it so many times now, I feel I dont think about it much.
I feel I live a the life of two opposite personalities. I have this work hard for the future, make sure all the essentials of my life have been well planned for and then during certain night "Mr. Hyde" comes out and ruins my judgement and my plans
I am getting to think that I have found myself to blame it to drinking and if so, I would have to stop drinking since it seems to be my trigger. I have always found ways to dodge the fact that I might have to quit drinking, but sadly I may have to try this out. Drinking has always been the link that has allowed me to cross over to the "dark side". It seems to be doing much more harm than good to me and I will have to be stronger.
I hate being numb all day and try to forget the past. I have come to the realization that if I keep making the same choices, I will keep getting the same results.
I want to change myself and I will not let myself fail.
I hope I have the will power to lay off the drinks and see if that changes any of these urges i have felt recently.
I am not sure how to make myself stop while im drinking. I feel I am the complete opposite when im sober. I have always paid my bills on time, and taking care of debt, but recently, due to the loss of my job a couple months ago (company layoffs), the gambling has taken a toll on my savings.
Some one on the last post mentioned self banning. I wish it worked because i have self banned myself and still have been able to gamble and mingle wit h staff. I just make sure to never give my id or legal name.
I would have not figured it out, unless I had taken a drunken chance months ago.
I know by going there, I could potentially face legal issues but since I have done it so many times now, I feel I dont think about it much.
I feel I live a the life of two opposite personalities. I have this work hard for the future, make sure all the essentials of my life have been well planned for and then during certain night "Mr. Hyde" comes out and ruins my judgement and my plans
I am getting to think that I have found myself to blame it to drinking and if so, I would have to stop drinking since it seems to be my trigger. I have always found ways to dodge the fact that I might have to quit drinking, but sadly I may have to try this out. Drinking has always been the link that has allowed me to cross over to the "dark side". It seems to be doing much more harm than good to me and I will have to be stronger.
I hate being numb all day and try to forget the past. I have come to the realization that if I keep making the same choices, I will keep getting the same results.
I want to change myself and I will not let myself fail.
I hope I have the will power to lay off the drinks and see if that changes any of these urges i have felt recently.
My learned behavior as a child was fight, flight or freeze in the face of adversity of any kind. In some ways my addictions are all forms of running away. Of anesthetizing my feelings. The problem is that anesthetizing does not work selectively. You cannot just numb yourself to the bad feelings, you numb the good feelings as well.
It is in being honest with myself and others that I learn that I can deal with the bad things in life without self-medicating. I am not "there" by any stretch of the imagination, but I know the path I need to take. This kind of inner growth does not happen very often in isolation, we need other people to face the inner demons and come out the other side. Face to face support group, counseling and hard personal work is what has saved my life.
The reason I say that is because I too play the "Two different people in one body." On the out side all smiles and on the inside so very sad.
I have gone to counseling many time, but I think I even play a game with them. Fooling them that I am fine. All is going to be fine.
It was last week that I let out stories of years of sadness to a family member. He sat with a stunned look on his face. Shook his head and said, "Wow, you should be really screwed up." I smiled and said, "Oh yeah, I am so over all the pain, it is all good."
The happy me showed up just before I had a melt down. I can not melt down, EVER. So I found other ways to abuse myself. Current abuse is gambling.
One day at a time to not abuse myself.
I hope you find recover.