Hi, I'm TY. I've  been gambling off and on for 10 years and I'm  34.  I've tried to quit multiple times and it always seems that I end up back at the casino. The overpowering urge to gamble takes over mostly after work. It's almost as if I can't even stop myself anymore. I can even make it 30 days without gambling. I've definitely reached an all-time low right now. I've even thought about suicide to end this overpowering urge that I feel I can't even fight anymore. I see a therapist once a week and I was going to meetings and they were helping until my dad ended up in the hospital with cancer... I guess it was a way out for me or just an excuse to go back and Gamble. One of the men at the meetings that I go to kind of really laid into me after I had gambled and not been in recovery for even 30 days. That was another reason I went and gambled again because I couldn't take the criticism. I haven't been back to a meeting since, nor have I yet to use the phone list. I could really use some insight. My bank account is negative, and gambling has affected me in so many negative ways but I still go back. I signed myself out of the casino 2 years ago and I still go. I wouldn't even be able to win thousands of dollars and keep it. When I do go to gamble and I win money I end up giving it back and gambling it away and leaving with nothing but a sick stomach. I would do anything at this point to stop and I don't know where to start.