Hi, Welcome 2llive, glad you're here. there are alot of great ppl here with experience and hope to share.

So glad you found us! We are all mountain climbers, just lace your boots and grab onto the rope:)
Read as many posts as you can, we are all at different points in recovery, from days to years. Im sure you'll find many stories that you can relate to, and find different strategies to use to deal with overcoming this destructive addiction.
So Welcome! It's a great group of supportive, understanding, straight talking people. Glad you're here!

" Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebbles that cause you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain -Source Unknown " [Compliments of Tagg-I.T.C.II.
Ill2-I think you are in the right place. I don't know your story, but with more posts and time, perhaps we'll get to know each other. IMO, Whether you see this as a disease or not is not an issue. Do you think [or know] you are a compulsive gambler? I know I am. Many people find it difficult to actually think or say that they are an addict. Because we are all a little in love with the idea that we have control of our lives. As you spend some time on this forum you will come to know and care about the people that visit here. We are in this together. We all want the luxury of living life devoid of the toxic addiction that gambling has become. You say you are seeing a therapist, you must be going to meetings. If you are indeed a CG, you should go to GA meetings. Because no one can understand a compulsive gambler, like another compulsive gambler. Most of us have fallen into the hole we have dug for ourselves [when it comes to finances], but we can only start filling the hole when we stop digging. I hope I am not being too wordy, just want to let you know, there is hope, and we are here for you.~atticus

Thanks for the warm welcomes! I am a full blown gambling addict. I recognize that and share it with less and less shame. I don't go to GA. I'm thinking about giving it a try. To be honest, I'm turned off by the 12 steps is the only way mentality. But how can I even discredit it when I haven't given it a chance?
I'm a baby in recovery - just 10 weeks. I don't really even know my story or even how to sum it up.
I'll try:
I had a lot of money.
I had fun gambling with that money.
I knew I had better stop or I wouldn't have any money.
I tried to stop.
I couldn't stop.
I started betting bigger
I realized I was in serious trouble.
I kept gambling anyway.
I ran out of money.
I thought about suicide.
I kept gambling.
I frequently wanted to die.
Gambling was a relief from that feeling.
I wanted to stop wanting to die.
I had to keep gambling.
I wanted to stop wanting to die enough to get help.
I got help.
I'm fighting for my life.

2live, sounds like you are in this to win it. We win only when we don't gamble. I know for myself, I don't understand why I loved to gamble so much. Maybe that will come later. All I know is that when I go -I am powerless. You see all those signs all over the casinos "when the fun stops" and at the ATMs "Think, be responsible" -What a joke. In the grip of my compulsiveness [is that a word?] I am not there to either think or be responsible. I, too, wanted to die. I wanted to die without committing suicide. Because, hey, I'm a pretty thoughtful person, and what kinda mess would that be? I prayed to just quit breathing. That was the week before I knew. I knew I really had to stop. It is not about the money. It's about the game. All we want is enough money to keep gambling. There never would be a big enough jackpot to satisfy us. We are trying to attain the unattainable. Sure, we would be so happy, so thrilled. Then, we would be utterly disgusted with ourselves. For losing it all back. The "I can't believe I did it again". Maybe it wouldn't be the same night, or all at once. But sure as shooting we would give it all back....and then some. As Resolve said people have different strategies, you don't have to use a 12 step program. I know that is what is working for me. It is not easy. I still want to gamble. I just know I can't. I come here a lot. If you ask people on here, probably too much, lol.
Glad you are ready to join the fight. ~atticus

WOW 2live! You pretty much summed up the first three GA steps, I can't, a higher power can and I will let them. In spite of what you see, feel, hear, touch or taste, you are already alright. Just keep fighting those voices. When that monkey gets on my back and say outloud, "HELL NO, I won't go!" Then I rememb er all the awful memories I have of the Casino. I stopped having fun years ago. 1-800-522-4700 is the National Association of Problem Gamblers if you need additional support. I called them two years ago when I relapsed and was suicidal. Look who is still here! We are 2live. Again Welcome!!! I'm praying for you. God Bless

Welcome to the family ll2live, you are on the right track. I am also new but been receiving a lot of overwhelming support which is what we need in this time of darkness.

Believe me, you are not alone. We will fight this ... And we will win...

God bless

IIlive2 -
This place has helped me so much as well I have not gambled since April and I was on and off for 17+ years - those years were so up and down that it became torture, once I stopped I realized my freedom, my life - gambling puts a tight rope on your neck and it keeps getting tighter and I think finally I began choking back in mid April and had enough of it - I cut that ROPE...I did not go to GA though so many people been helped by that, I just said enough - the lies, no money, finance pressures, etc. I started to pay what I could little by little and you begin to be honest with yourself. I just had flashbacks of even driving home after 5:00 a.m. from a Atlantic City casino - just drained, exhausted, broke wondering if I'm gonna make it home.....do I have enough gas, will I fall asleep at the wheel??? That life is not neccessary - and I was bringing it on...you have to put your foot down. If I could do it - there is hope for all of us - were not alone, write your thoughts, dreams, fears here - people read and care.
Best,
Niki

II2live,

Welcome, my friend. Was headed off to sleep, but couldn't put my head on the pillow before shooting you a short note. Congratulations on 10 weeks GF..we all the know the battle and climb is not an easy one, but together, helping one another makes the journey so much more bearable.

The next time you see your therapist, tell her you took her advice and found a super support group then give her her 2 week lay-off notice, LOL. Where there's room in the heart, there's always room in the house, so kick your shoes off, relax and get to know your new roomies. We'll be here for the long haul and we're especially glad to have you a part of this family.

Be well, stay strong,

Tagg