I will be the first to say welcome. .. I found this forum last year and I have gained an understanding of my addiction from many that are willing to share their lice story. First. Thing I did was watched videos on what was going on with my brain when I gambled. It is the same thing as taking a drug. The best thing for me to do was self ban.. I can tell you to stop beating yourself up, but it will take lots of will power to do that. Just as much as not gabaling. The common thread I have found is some of us were already hurting people when this distructiin stated.. ... I am healing from what drove me to my escape. Do you need to explore what started the path of gambling?

I suggest you do anything and everything to get stopped. Try it all until you find something or some combination that works for you.
I had a goodly 4 decades of gambling with ever increasing problems, many stops and starts.
I needed help - but I was not ready to work hard the first couple of times I sought help. The first time I sought help, I did not want to quit gambling, I wanted the counselor to make me a social gambler again. Preferably using the magic wand method requiring little or no effort on my part. It took another couple of decades before I came to realize that kind of magical thinking was indicative of addiction.
It took years more for me to be brought low enough by this addiction to finally admit I was powerless over gambling and my life had become unmanageable. I had finally gotten to a point that I was willing to do anything and everything to stop gambling because I hated my life, I hated what I had become, and I hated myself. There was nothing left of my life but gambling and it was gambling until every cent I had was gone - time after time , every time- it was pure insanity and pure hell. I went to treatment.
Recovery is more than just quitting but that is where is must start. Educating yourself as Marie suggests is a good start. Google YouTube videos on gambling addiction and your brain or addiction and dopamine.
It helps me to journal, do art work of any kind, garden, hike, bike, walk, keep a gratitude diary, go to a face to face support group, come here to D/S, meditation, relaxation, guided imagery, doing things with friends, making gifts for friends, all relieved urges for me. I went through treatment specifically geared for compulsive gamblers. I gathered the hot line numbers for problem gamblers and suicide prevention, located my nearest GA meeting, worked the 12 steps and broadened my circle of support. Everyone is different, so everyone has to have their own plan for recovery. Writing out my triggers and a plan to do something specific for each trigger, besides gambling the next time that trigger arises, was helpful to me.
I hope this gives you some direction. Hugs and Prayers

Hello and welcome....Do you have a quitline in your state? That might be a good starting point. Some states have funds for gambling recovery programs. I was given immediate telephone support which was followed by long term counseling. The very first thing I had to do was give up access to cash. It was the only way I could get past the urges in the beginning weeks. I'm now able to carry small amounts of cash without constant worry. Abstinence is a process. I feel different from one week to the next. I now realize that this might be my new norm and that's okay (when you have your head stuck in the sand for years and years nothing changes). Anything is better than the alternative. When you are ready, develop a plan using all the help and resources that are right for you. Glad you are here.
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Thank You all so much for your replies/suggestions...I am finally at a point in my life to where I am more determined to QUIT,rather than determined to GAMBLE or chase losses...It was a blessing to have stumbled upon this site because now I don't feel so alone...I used to think,"Why can't I just quit?" and could never really accept the fact that I was afflicted by a disease...I would look around at everyone else in the casino and wonder if they had the same problem/addiction as myself...I'm going to look up "self ban" from casinos,that's a new term to me that I'm not familiar with...Oddly enough, I'm very familiar with the brain and it's function and how dopamine,serotonin,repressed memories,dysfuntional homelife(past & present) and so forth play a role...I'm aware of all this because I am a psych nurse and have a degree in psychology...I can say that going through this vicious cycle of a gambling addition has given me a true insight of what my patients have to deal with on a daily basis but that is about the only positive gain I have received through it...Although society may label people as "drunks,dopeheads ,degenerate gamblers &sexual perverts",I am able to have greater compassion for them,not because I have understanding of the brain function and the disease process itself but simply because I'VE BEEN THERE..The particular patients where I work have different types of OCD diagnosis but still suffer in the same way that I do...Anyway,it's been 24 hours since I've gambled so that's one down and many more to go,but like I said,I AM DETERMINED...Thank you all for allowing me to be accountable to you,for that may be my greatest help.

I am so glad you are committed to stopping and the insight you have gained into the hell some of our patients are going through is invaluable. It was really helpful to me to watch the video about "Rat Park" I believe it is titled, uh, one moment, I will just go look it up and post a link.... It is on YouTube as well and there is an animation too but not sure the cartoon part is in this one, (idea and speaker are the same) on TED talks titled: "Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong" is well worth the 15 minutes of video: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong?language=en#t-329522

Qwit,,, Thanks for turning me on to the You Tube videos.I have been viewing them ALL DAY.Seeing the devastation that gambling has created for others was truly sad and there were some folks I literally took the time out to pray for as an individual(you were included) and I pray they are still in recovery today....I had no idea that I could gain such valuable info from YT..I had never really explored it before,I thought it was just music videos and random things that people post...After watching the video/documentaries,my only thoughts that I had about gambling today were negative and pure disgust...I'm going to watch your last suggestion also...You seem to be an active member on here greatly supporting those in need,you have been a huge help to me thus far,,,I Thank and Applaud You!!!

Quit4good

Thanks for the video. Must be my problem.

Great advice. I'll just underscore what works for me:
1. Limit your access to cash. Go to your bank and make your ATM limit a small amount.
2. Self-ban. Immediately.
3. After Steps 1 and 2 are in place, begin the hard work of resisting your urges. Go to GA. Volunteer. Sign on to Daily Strength. Do whatever you can to not act on the urge.
4. Whatever you do, be good to yourself. Do not beat yourself up. Do whatever you can to practice "extreme self-care."
5. Don't think that money's going to solve your problems. If you do, you'll be tempted to gamble. And money, believe it or not, is not your problem! You may be broke, but your problem is deeper than money.

Good luck. We're all here with the same problem so please don't feel alone.

Not to Qwit -- Thanks for the TED video. Great.

that should read "Note to Qwit," not "NOT"

I watched the video. Very good. My husband just doesn't get the whole addiction thing. He has so much self control. He watched the vedio and I do believe it made him see how my addiction happen and why it continued for a while.

When I first saw that video, everything in it rang true for me, not just on an intellectual level, but emotionally, physically and spiritually with my whole being and soul. I am not a trained counselor just a recovering addict with a variety of treatment, 12 step and self help programs behind and perhaps in front of me. But "rat park" just makes sense to me.
I am so glad Marie that maybe it made some sense to your husband.

25yrslost: am delighted I could be of help to you. I am active here because it helps me. In fact, people like you, who are new to the site and in pain, help me remember my worst day gambling and that helps me to stay abstinent more than they can ever know. Sharing my personal story and hell, frees me from the shame of the secret and if it encourages and helps anyone else it brings meaning and the purpose to why I went through all that shit. (Pardon my French.) And it is worth it if one person can avoid some of my pitfalls.

I agree with everything that was said above. Self-banning, having a payee to pay my bills and give me a small allowance, seeing a therapist, telling a few trusted people, using this forum regularly, and reading books, watching movies/videos on addiction, and identifying triggers and figuring out new ways to adapt have all saved me.

Most of all, I think just posting here when you have the urge is vital. No one ever has said anything negative when I've posted a ton of threads or commented on every post in the past. It has been a life saver to come here when I don't know what else to do.