Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
113 days in recovery. Odd, I know, I count down the days, for me, its like looking in the mirror with my clothes off (sorry but its the only comparison I could think of :) It brings me into reality, but, there are times I have to remind myself, my recovery is not a race. Rather a journey.
Late last night, my sweet roommate came home (he has become more like a family member.) Coming in late, he announced to me, that he went to a local casino with his friends, he played with 40.00 and come home with 180, he was so proud of that. He then proceeded to tell me about a friend of his, that had gone up 1100, but wouldn't leave the table and ended up leaving with 400 instead.
I went to bed thinking about the normality of the conversation I had with him. He is not aware of my addiction, I have never told him, I just never thought it was something I wanted to discuss with him. I actually felt a tiny urge to do it again, I missed it, as odd as that sounds. Then, I started to think, I remember going into a card room, learning to master the game of poker, with 40.00, and slowly going to the bigger stakes tables, I sat for the first time at the bigger stakes table and tripled my money in one had, at that point, I was "hooked." Then, I thought about my last time I went out, the sickening feeling of placing a bet, and just not caring, I didn't care, I hadn't slept for two days, I hadn't eaten for two days, I left my home, my dogs, my family alone, and didn't care about anything, including myself. It wasn't the first time I had done that, it was one of countless times.
Did I have a tiny urge? Or was I romancing the beginning of a very sick relationship? I have often said, that I would rather be alone, then in a lonely relationship, and that stands true for my addiction. My addiction to gambling is a very lonely, destructive relationship, it slowly sucked the life out of me. 113 days later, I am just now starting to find my footing, I see a glimpse of who I can be, and who I am. There may be times I romance the beginning of the relationship I had with gambling, but I need to remember, how bad it was.
Do the day my warriors. My relationships with all of you, probably one of the healthiest choices I have made in over 10 years.
xoxoxox
Late last night, my sweet roommate came home (he has become more like a family member.) Coming in late, he announced to me, that he went to a local casino with his friends, he played with 40.00 and come home with 180, he was so proud of that. He then proceeded to tell me about a friend of his, that had gone up 1100, but wouldn't leave the table and ended up leaving with 400 instead.
I went to bed thinking about the normality of the conversation I had with him. He is not aware of my addiction, I have never told him, I just never thought it was something I wanted to discuss with him. I actually felt a tiny urge to do it again, I missed it, as odd as that sounds. Then, I started to think, I remember going into a card room, learning to master the game of poker, with 40.00, and slowly going to the bigger stakes tables, I sat for the first time at the bigger stakes table and tripled my money in one had, at that point, I was "hooked." Then, I thought about my last time I went out, the sickening feeling of placing a bet, and just not caring, I didn't care, I hadn't slept for two days, I hadn't eaten for two days, I left my home, my dogs, my family alone, and didn't care about anything, including myself. It wasn't the first time I had done that, it was one of countless times.
Did I have a tiny urge? Or was I romancing the beginning of a very sick relationship? I have often said, that I would rather be alone, then in a lonely relationship, and that stands true for my addiction. My addiction to gambling is a very lonely, destructive relationship, it slowly sucked the life out of me. 113 days later, I am just now starting to find my footing, I see a glimpse of who I can be, and who I am. There may be times I romance the beginning of the relationship I had with gambling, but I need to remember, how bad it was.
Do the day my warriors. My relationships with all of you, probably one of the healthiest choices I have made in over 10 years.
xoxoxox
deleted_user
I was working last night at my second job and the manager started talking about blackjack. Asked me if I knew how to play, and I was like "yeah" and tried to change the subject. But he kept going on, and on, and on. Finally the phone rang and it was over, but I hate getting in awkward conversations about gambling when I'm in recovery, so difficult because obviously I'm interested but dont want to trigger an urge. Plus dont want to tell people my "secret."
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...