Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
This isn't strictly about gambling, but more about the root/cause of my gambling problem.
I've identified that I use it to fill a void, namely, my lack of relationships. Someone here once said I need to learn to cope better - I thought that was very accurate, because when things go bad, the way I 'cope' is to go on a gambling splurge.
Well I went out the other night with a girl who I met through a friend. I took her to a magic show and felt we had a really great time. She asked me to invite her next time I went to play badminton.
I messaged her a few nights later to ask if she got home ok, and no response. That really started hurting me. I started getting depressed. I was being ignored AGAIN. It feels like the whole world is ignoring me. It feels like I am worthless to have a relationship.
I figured MAYBE she didn't get my message. So the next day I called. No answer, but as soon as I hung up, she sent me a message saying she was at work. I replied saying "oh ok, maybe we can talk later". Maybe it was just me, but I expected her to at least send me a message when she finished work.
It's been about 7 hours now after she's finished work, and still nothing. I just don't know what went wrong. She seemed interested but is now ignoring me???
I think in the past, I would've gone on a crazy gambling spree. But I told myself that I must learn to cope better. I will try to focus on work today, but this is very, very hard. I am very depressed right now. In the past, this kind of feeling has led me to feel suicidal. Why doesn't anyone like me? :(
But thank you to the person who identified my problem with coping. It has helped.
I've identified that I use it to fill a void, namely, my lack of relationships. Someone here once said I need to learn to cope better - I thought that was very accurate, because when things go bad, the way I 'cope' is to go on a gambling splurge.
Well I went out the other night with a girl who I met through a friend. I took her to a magic show and felt we had a really great time. She asked me to invite her next time I went to play badminton.
I messaged her a few nights later to ask if she got home ok, and no response. That really started hurting me. I started getting depressed. I was being ignored AGAIN. It feels like the whole world is ignoring me. It feels like I am worthless to have a relationship.
I figured MAYBE she didn't get my message. So the next day I called. No answer, but as soon as I hung up, she sent me a message saying she was at work. I replied saying "oh ok, maybe we can talk later". Maybe it was just me, but I expected her to at least send me a message when she finished work.
It's been about 7 hours now after she's finished work, and still nothing. I just don't know what went wrong. She seemed interested but is now ignoring me???
I think in the past, I would've gone on a crazy gambling spree. But I told myself that I must learn to cope better. I will try to focus on work today, but this is very, very hard. I am very depressed right now. In the past, this kind of feeling has led me to feel suicidal. Why doesn't anyone like me? :(
But thank you to the person who identified my problem with coping. It has helped.
Just remember.....Gods delays aren't Gods denials....
Good things will happen in time..... At the right time.....you have to have faith...
Likeability and compatibility are things I struggle with too. I am either at work or taking care of my child and don't have a lot of avenues to pursue friendships or dates. I feel lonely and unliked a lot of the time. The only thing I can do about it now is work on me, though. I am building some healthy habits and adopting fresher perspectives and hoping I will shine when the right significant relationships are possible.
Try taking some personality tests and/or reading some motivational books. Wayne Dyer is awesome. Andy Andrews is good too. Just my two cents. Take care... and good job dealing with your feelings. You're another step ahead :)
Be kind, be respectful, be happy.
We only get one life, don't waste it thinking these thoughts. These thoughts are not the true you. Dig a little deeper, read positive material, and only allow positive thoughts into your mind.
You will find that the more you do that, the better you will feel.
It's been about a week now, and my mind is a bit clearer about all this. I still feel hurt, but just glad I didn't go gambling. Guess I am recovering the 'normal' way.