Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I've been visiting this site for months now. I know I am a compulsive gambler. I have been gambling for about 8 years. This past year I went off the deep end. My bets got bigger and my losses are financially devastating. I did things that I never thought I would do. I hurt my family. It's awful. The other day I met with my accountant and found out that I will owe the government about $40k in April. (I live in a state where deductions for losses don't exist and I cashed in some 401k money I will pay a penalty on.)That on top of the losses I have racked up on my credit is rock bottom for me. The wired part is I feel relieved because I know I'm done. I will never give a slot machine another cent. I don't think a person can stop until they reach their own rock bottom. It's like a light came on and reality hit... It's over and I'm glad. This will take years to repair. I don't quite know how to fix it but I will.
I guess I'm posting this in hopes that maybe just one person will learn from my experience. The hurt has to be enough to bring you to your knees. It will happen sooner or later. I wish I would have stopped a long time ago.... Actually I wish I would have never started.
I'm okay. I am going to be okay. I will get through this. Im not going to dwell on the past and I am only going to focus on getting well and repairing the damage.
When you find yourself chasing the losses, sneaking around, lying, and only thinking about your next bet... It's time to stop.
I will check in regularly to keep you posted on my recovery. I'm going to do it. I can only get better because I know I'm not gambling again. It's over. I'm just done.
I guess I'm posting this in hopes that maybe just one person will learn from my experience. The hurt has to be enough to bring you to your knees. It will happen sooner or later. I wish I would have stopped a long time ago.... Actually I wish I would have never started.
I'm okay. I am going to be okay. I will get through this. Im not going to dwell on the past and I am only going to focus on getting well and repairing the damage.
When you find yourself chasing the losses, sneaking around, lying, and only thinking about your next bet... It's time to stop.
I will check in regularly to keep you posted on my recovery. I'm going to do it. I can only get better because I know I'm not gambling again. It's over. I'm just done.
I can relate to your story. I bottomed out in January 2014 and haven't looked back.
The feeling of being "done" is a relief, but you need to use this time very wisely to ensure long term success. Put some real roadblocks in your path back to the casino. Ban yourself for life if it is possible.
Begin filling your time previously spent gambling with other activities and commitments.
As for the financial mess, I can tell you that will get better much faster than you think. Chart a realistic path to pay down your debts. You will see a big difference with just one or two paychecks when the casino stops getting it's cut! I literally spent my last dime to my name on my last trip to the casino in Jan 14. I left that night after spending my entire paycheck, and leaving myself with several bounced checks. Now, in just two years, my debts are nearly paid off, my credit is rebounding, and I am rebuilding my retirement.
You can do this!! Keep coming here and read the posts. You won't feel so alone in this struggle.
I have admitted being a habitual player, but not to being an addicted gambler. I reached the point it had to stop, and only one month away from financial recovery. It was not hard to do. I do not miss it at all.
You can do this! "
I will not go to the casino today. I don't know about tomorrow. I want to be in my "right mind" again and that means having a plan to stay away from the trap. I am looking at it that way. A trap, a place where poor people go. No future for me there. TRAP.
Keep up the positive attitude, fight those down days.
The one thing I want to clarify, you said you live in a state where gambling losses are not deductible. Are you referring to your state taxes? If so, I can relate because gambling losses are not deductible from state taxes here as well and I also find myself unable to pay what I owed. I never had any state tax withheld from my winnings. If you are referring to federal income taxes you were given bad advice. Gambling losses can be written off up to what you've won in all states. $40,000 seems like a huge amount to owe in state taxes for 1 year, unless of course you owe for several years. I'm not trying to be nosy, I just want to make sure you haven't been given poor advice that could cost you money and unnecessary stress.
I'm five months out, and I can tell you, it does get easier. Do you have a payee? Mine rebuilt my financial life. My debts were consolidated and paid off. My bills are up to date. Bill collectors have stopped calling. I paid off my car. I even have a savings account now. This is a lot for a woman who used to wager up to $4800/month at the casino and on more than one occasion scrounge for change at the bottom of her car to go back in with just a dollar to start it all over again.
Don't equate the numbers with your self-esteem. They're just numbers in a bank account. One extra zero doesn't make or break you. The numbers will go up when more time passes. Believe in the process. Time will heal your wounds, I assure you.
highlimit, my state taxes are 17k and 5k for the two states I gambled in (the one I live in does not allow deductions) and the rest is federal penalties for early withdrawal. My winnings we about $450k. Unbelievable. It's all a blur and I cannot even understand how this happened.
I have great support with my family, and I have no doubt I can overcome this mess.
Thanks and best wishes to you all.
I struggled with problem/compulsive gambling for most of two decades. I had to hit rock bottom which was very low and very hard. But it is the memory of that dark, isolated, hopeless, and self-loathing era, right before quitting, that keeps me from returning. New folks to this board and new folks in my support groups help me remember the pain.
I am 388 days abstinent and I will approach this day as if it were day one, I will need to be vigilant and mindful and kind to myself and others. I am finding a balance between doing and being, between socializing and "me" time, between giving and taking.
My life is full of color, honest and open friendships, and worth living again.
It can be done