Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
What in the world? I had over 2 months GF. Paying off dept, feeling like this is going to all be okay. I have read so many people post that they can not causal gamble. Go in with $20 and leave. It is true for me too. Yesterday, I went and lost. Today I went and lost. I don't have access to money so where did I find some money to throw away? I did and I did.
I feel bad, but most of all I don't even want to feel bad. I just want to fix my mess and feel good again.
My trigger was worry. More then anything I can't to stop worrying. I am in some sort of trap worrying about everything and everyone. I know better and I don't want to say the word can't but truth is my brain will not stop.
I thought being away from the bells, sounds and lights would make my brain more calm. Brain does not turn off.
How long does the detox take?
It was nice not lying and wasting time and money.
My worry is not going to go away by wasting money, just crazy.
I feel bad, but most of all I don't even want to feel bad. I just want to fix my mess and feel good again.
My trigger was worry. More then anything I can't to stop worrying. I am in some sort of trap worrying about everything and everyone. I know better and I don't want to say the word can't but truth is my brain will not stop.
I thought being away from the bells, sounds and lights would make my brain more calm. Brain does not turn off.
How long does the detox take?
It was nice not lying and wasting time and money.
My worry is not going to go away by wasting money, just crazy.
All you can do, is be thankful for the 2 months you did have GF and consider this a lesson learned...and begin again. I have been there over and over again, asking myself some of the very same questions. The worry trigger is our mind tricking us, dreams, nightmares, sweats literally withdrawals, still 2 months out. "PAWS" was interesting to read about, if you have not already. For me at 2 months I saw all the great positives of not gambling, and luckily had a very close friend reminding me I was at a milestone that sometimes bites back by making us feel confident we have this thing beat. I saw the tricks and triggers and made it past them with her help. You can too. 30-60-90-120 even 6 months and a year...be cautious. If it helps at all, my 90 felt much better than my 60, my 120 felt better than my 90, and my 6 months was fireworks of joy in my heart....all with added thoughts of how to stay careful, and thankful of how far I have come. Day #194 today...it took me a thousand tries till I finally got it right, but I'm stubborn, and I decided I was not going to let this addiction get me.
Best wishes to you, be strong, you can do this!
In my first month, while in treatment, I worked with my counselor to develop a "Relapse Prevention Plan". This kind of plan should include every trigger you can think of and a plan for what to do the next time that trigger comes up besides gamble. This plan is a living document that changes as I change, as new triggers arise I had not considered or as new ways to cope with them are discovered.
So now is the time to think about what you will do the next time you are worried. Here are some suggestions:
1) Think about what the Dali Lama would do. If it is something you have no control over, worry will not help, if it is something you have control over - do something about it instead of worry.
2) Repeat an affirmation like: I have done all I can do today to improve my life, I turn over everything I cannot do to my Higher Power.
3) Try a relaxation tape or exercises
4) Take out the art supplies and finger-paint, color or scribble - it helps.
5) Go for a walk
6) Call a friend and talk about it
7) Write out what you are worried about and possible solutions. Try to determine if this is a true concern for you or are you taking on someone elses' worries? Is this something you have any control over? If not, why are you torturing yourself.
8) Repeat the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
These are only suggestions, the point is that when we slip and can be an opportunity to learn. Oh there is a new trigger I had not expected, well, here is what I will do next time instead. So that the next time we have a flat tire on our recovery journey we don't get out with a gun and shoot the other three tires.
You can do this!
Hugs and Prayers
I also struggle with anxiety and worry. I have most of my life. You need to focus that energy into something positive. While I still have moments of anxiety I have brought so many positive outlets into my life it's easy to let go of that anxiety and focus on something else.
I would recommend finding more avenues to occupy your free time so you do not wallow in so much pent up worry and fear. I find when I tire myself out throughout the day I don't really have time to focus on all the things that take my mind into a negative place.
I'm over 6 months out. It does get easier, but there are still really difficult times. I had issues over the holidays. I don't like parties all that much, and I used to gamble before and/or after, to "take the edge off." That coping mechanism was gone this year, and it was hard. The urge was there to shop or eat instead, and sometimes I did, one or the other or both. I didn't gamble though.
I have issues when work gets to be stressful or I feel like I'm not successful enough for my age or my skill level or how well I did in school. That self-shame is enough to make me want to run and hide, escape somewhere, and often that "somewhere" was the casino. Without that, it's hard sometimes.
You're not in this alone. You have a lot of friends you've never met in the group here, @MarieH2. Many kind, loving, capable people find themselves in the midst of gambling addiction or gambling addiction therapy. You're not a bad person. You're just in pain. Keep working.
Thanks for asking how goes it....
Foggy day, In the last few days I have forgotten to be where I am suppose to be or forgot to get things that I needed for work.
I find myself over exaggerating my feelings. I don't speak that out loud, only to myself. I am one of those people that feel guilty when I feel bad, and it is VERY hard to ever tell anyone I feel bad.
This forum is a big help to me. I know a lot of people, but don't let many get close.
I am learning so much from all who write and share their stories.
The real life me, has a great sense of humor, which I have come to realize is my defense mechanize.
It was VERY hard to say, I went back to the trap. Oh well, this me has to realize I can not hide any more. At least not with those that totally understand what it is like to be in this situation.