I hear your pain and suffering and I feel terrible for where you are at in your life right now. The good news is you can change it! One baby step at a time, like posting here today. Keep coming here, reading the posts, call the help lines, go to GA meetings, take all of those steps and just do it for today. Tomorrow and all it's worries will take care of themselves. Just for today you can be gamble free. Continue to reach out, we are all here for you!

I am right there with you. Lost total control yesterday. As Rainie said...little steps are the way to go. Do something positive today. There must be something.....

Candcand. This is your moment I believe. Just for today stop gambling and take a big deep breath.
Trust me when I say everything will be okay if you stop right now. Im not just saying this. I know from experience.
Just for today stick close to this site and find out where there is a GA near you and there are meetings close to where you are.
Get out of Foxwoods now and wave goodbye to the place forever.
It seems so overwhelming - the debts, the apartment, life in general, but trust me when I say those problems will become manageable by stopping gambling. Your mind will start to clear up and with the help of this site and GA you will sort your problems out.
II know this is not easy but try not to be too hard on yourself. What has happened to you at this point is not your fault- it is the disease of compulsive gambling- however from this moment on you know a better way, so grab hold of it and do what has to be done.
You will be fine but please stop right now.

I am new and so will just sure that the things people here say are true and that staying close to this site and the giving, receiving of support here will make a world of difference. We have all of us been in that dark place of shame, regret and loneliness you are feeling even if our circumstance and the results might differ slightly. One step at a time we can get well and save ourselves.
I send you my most heartfelt blessings and am thankful you are here because it is the first step towards changing your life.

Thanks for all of the replies. My checking account has a negative balance so even if I wanted to, I can't gamble because I don't have any money. I have about $70 left on one credit card and I need to reserve that for gas. There is pretty no money for anything else. This is a disaster. I know that I should leave but I have been sitting in my hotel room for hours watching movies on my laptop. My mother just emailed to tell me that debit collectors are now hunting me down at her house. They are also calling me at work. I am so overwhelmed. I have no one to talk to so I am glad I have all of you. This is very lonely. Thank you for your support.

Don't know if you're interested, but you can try one of those debt resolution companies. They negotiate settlements with your creditors and you usually end up paying 50 cents on the dollar. There are fees, though, but it may be worth it to get rid of the stress.

Candcand,
Take a breath. You are reaching out for help here, that is a great first step.

Does your mom know why the debt collectors are calling? Is she someone you can rely on to help you manage your money?

Call a hotline, go to a meeting. Talking directly with someone will give you another level of support.

If we want change in our life, well we have to change. The past is gone, get geared up to quit gambling, use everything you can to help yourself, GA, this site, ban yourself from casinos, limit access to money etc. It takes hard work to change habits but you can do this! Get excited about stopping gambling, your life was not meant to be spent in casinos and mired in sadness. I tell you, gambling had me by the throat, I was depressed about all the money and so, so much time wasted- but then I would go back for more! I had to buckle down and stop, use everything I could, and still do. You can do this, go for it!

I am still feeling terrible but I appreciate your comments. You are all really nice and supportive. I plan on visiting here everyday.

I've just signed up myself. I am in a similar situation, but I've recently self-excluded and it really did help me to stop. I'm still in a bad place emotionally, but at least I stopped giving my money away. It's a start.

yes even the start is liberating because even though we are not yet where we want to be we are no longer in the dark place where we were.

candcand,
I AM YOUR LONG LOST SISTER !!
We must be related,
your story so imitates mine.
I spent the last two years feeling just like this.
I decided to quit January.
Please, I have found that the isolation is the super
ego of addiction and self centeredness the ego.

Change your old patterns and you will be making new choices that are better for you.
I truly feel you must take all the tools you will find here
and work this program.
Make it your new addiction and go with it.

Do the hinderances, accountability to anyone, GA meetings,
this site, help others, get out in life again,..........
realize this can get worse.
REALLY.
I can feel your desperation and believe me IT can get worse.
Stop the insanity now.
but you must do the work.
You are a teacher , great !!!
make yourself assignments,
get out, do the meetings, post and journal here.

TAKE control back, NOW !!
I fully and completely expect to be seeing you here.
we welcome you with open arms and are here 24/7.
love

candcand,
ps....
I did not get into financial trouble just spent all I had saved for years.
But please do not make drastic decisions where this is concerned.
Like bankruptcy or anything at all like that until your head is clear and you understand your options.
This is serious.
You can always call the credit cards etc and explain the gambling and they will probably already "see it" and they can be accomodating at times. Really.
Please don't hesitate to come here and ask as you are anonymous and everyone here has your best interests at heart.
Isn't this site awesome,
we want YOU.

Candcand and thenewway,

I am the long lost third sister, we are triplets!

I too have acquired much debt over the years. I can go on and on about the IRSf(failed business venture) because of my gambling, defaulted student loans (I started working on my MSN and quit, because studying was cutting into my gambling time) retirement(I have none), payday loans( I have 2 outstanding as we speak totaling 2500.00), and owe a childhood friend of my husbands who recently came into a substantial amount of money(owe 5000.00), not to mention the thousands from my pays over the years. I just wanted to share that because I want you to know your not alone. If I would continue to think of all of this financial loss, I would surly go insane. That's why I can't and I don't. Its gone. Period. But I can begin my new life of not continuing with the destruction.

Money and material things can be replaced. You need to focus now on replacing yourself with a new self. A self of being GF, and returning to the person you were, not the one that this hideous disease created. Replace your thoughts with good things and slowly the bad will be pushed back and eventually be buried. please go to GA and get a sponsor, start journaling (this is so much help to me), come here everyday, posts your thoughts, feelings, or whatever. helps to just get that stuff out. If your spiritual, pray talk to your higher power.

You and us can do this. We need you! your experiences, your success's, your mistakes, and how you handle them, what worked, what didn't, we need it all. this helps to inspire, comfort, and keep us going!

Welcome to the first day, God Bless you!

candcand,

those debt collectors can really mess with your head. You do have the legal right to make them stop calling you. You have to send them a letter (certified w/return receipt) and tell them you do not wish to be contacted by telephone. They have to stop or you can sue them.

Go online and Google "dealing with debt collectors." Right now, you have to focus on your recovery.

I had one debt collector after me last year. It was for a very small amount, but they hounded me relentlessly. I sent the letter and it stopped. Then, I did pay that one off over time. I still have a lot of debts to pay, but I don't allow them to rob me of what little peace of mind I have left.

Take care.