You are not alone Cathy as I am sure you can tell from reading our posts. How long have you been gambling free? I see you joined us on April 29th this year and at that point were three weeks clean.
HAve you been successful all this time? If so just wondering how you did it.

I hear ya...it is absolutely incredible how we disassociate ourselves from the concept of how much money we are gambling. I have been gambling for ~ 15 yrs, primarily blackjack and some video poker. There was a time I was playing black only tables...$100 - $500 per hand and sometimes more! How we had to up the ante just to get the same buzz. Yes, it is like a crack habit for sure. I am just thankful that the withdrawal is really not as intense as it is from a chemical or drug dependence. Yes, the urges are strong, but seriously we will not die if we go cold turkey or suffer any real serious side effects like one who is withdrawing from drugs or alcohol. Trust that you can do this one day at a time. This site is wonderful for support and constant feedback and support.

yeah when i first started going i would go with a 50 and it seemed to last a while too. granted i woud bet lower than i would if i went now. but their out to make a killing on what ya bring into the place. face it the eonomy is bad and really noticed that the parking lot is way emptier than ive ever seen it. dont care what ya hear about rigging them machines cause they could do it 30 years ago in the local bars. you dont think they aint doing it now and wa easier than ever before. hell ya ever see all them wires and cables that go to them machines? dont think its just for electricity. lol lol lol

Just think how much would you PAY to get trust back, if it is even possible. As a fellow liar and stealer I am wondering that myself.

Gambling and crack aren't that much different. Stop the bleeding and you can save yourself. This is an unforgiving addiction and it takes no prisoners. You are among friends. If you need to talk, let me know....

Bbird

Thank you for your comments. I have relapsed many times. This time I almost have one weak! Thats all. But I have to start again. I have my my last bet on 7-12-12. I never needed the money but now i need the money. Gambling for me wasnt about the money, it was always about the high!

well i think it is always about the money or we wouldnt return. lol maybe in the begining loosing a few hundred was no big deal. but yeah them hundreds lead into thousands and yeah thats not easy to say oh so well to any more. it more or less ends up being a vengens to getter back.

Yes, $50.00 would do me fine for a day at the track but that radically changed with time. My bets had to get bigger...when I won it was fine...I could be on a roll. But eventually I'd have to bet everything on what I thought would be a sure winner and then I'd be left with zero. All that hard work for zippo.

cathyio - you can change your life around. It isn't impossible. It's a lot of work. For me, it was constantly reminding myself of what a terrible waste gambling truly is and I'm still telling myself the same. It's like a broken record because I got so caught up in the idea that I could win, and win big, that I lost my money judgment skills hook, line and sinker. I was knocking my head against a brick wall over and over....so naturally, I have to do the opposite and continually work on overcoming the addiction and the lies it promises. This means facing reality, that is...putting in money to win more money is ridiculous...it's better to keep what you have. I think I need to make a t-shirt that says, "The Best Bet is Not To Bet". For those who go to the casino, there would be a mandatory shirt each person must wear that says, "Sucker". ;-)

cathy - your definitely not alone - mercury like your quote, "best bet is not to bet," so true, and no doubt gambling for some is an addiction, and I had that addiction.
I think in order to really stop the madness and walk away from trying to win, and the "high," of it all depends on how bad you really WANT to quit. I got to the point, I wanted it bad enough to stop and walk away from the memories I created from gambling - almost nothing positive came out of gambling, yes there were a few instances you would meet a fellow gambler and you could tell there was a certain level of understanding because they perhaps were also an addict, but there was nothing else good - come on can we kid ourselves and say oh we did it for the comp points we would earn from spending thousands - what a joke! There were a few instances I was so pist because I would lose soooo much money and get very few points - what a scam is that, all marketing, and of course why because gambling is BIG business - we help the casino's make their billions...we the real gamblers, not the twice a year players. Anyway back to my point is yes there are many avenues to help with the addiction, but something in you has to also be ready, and I think that's what has also happened to me. I couldn't do it anymore, I was done after 17+ yrs of losing sooooo much, I was done!!!! Its been now since mid-April, and I have surprised myself!! We can beat this!! Thanks to all who have suppported me on DS, and I'm here to also support you.
Best,
Niki

So true...we the cg keep the casinos in business. Can you imagine if all cg's miraculously disappeared from the casino floors how quickly they would go out of business? Couldn't you look around a casino and know exactly who were the problem gamblers along with yourself. The ones who stared with a glazed look or intent look on their face as they sat in front of their favorite machine, or the table game player who recklessly placed the table max bet. I myself would always enjoy playing at a table where the dealer seemed to be rooting for the players to win. What was that dealer really thinking..."poor suckers...paying my salary until my employer bleeds you dry...then go find some more $$ somewhere to pay me some more". Those dealers are not really your friends, no matter how happy they appear when they see you come to their table. And the floor staff, didn't you cringe a little when they got to know your name without looking at your player's card? Boy, they were happy to see you walk in that door too..."my baby needs a new pair of shoes, sorry about your kid going shoeless...lol" Point is, right or wrong, we keep the casinos in business. They would never survive with recreational gamblers only because those gamblers know how to quit and not go back. It will never happen, but I would do a happy dance if all the casinos got what they deserve and went out of business...I secretly cheer when I hear about Atlantic City casinos having trouble now...boy they got enough of my hard earned bucks years ago.

lol lol lol yeah ild do the dance with ya too howie, and in the house to see that one. lol lol lol last dance i did here was around the drive way getting over a bat i seen in the garage. lol

howie in response to your comment about dealers that root for you....i am one of those dealers that want my customers to win...I dont know if your aware of this.... dealers only make like $5.00 an hour ....we make our money off of tips...i love to see the money flying out of the tray...now let me really blow your mind ...there are quite a few people that work in the casino business that are also CG's ....myself being one of them...I really dont know how I will recover from this ...but I have to stay strong...you see this is my story...i married very young.. was with my ex-husband for 20 years until he physically abused me for the last time in 2004 ...i had no college education and had 3 young kids to support..so I had to figure out what I could do that could support my kids and keep my house...so I got into dealers class and have been a dealer ever since...well 5 years ago i quit 1 casino to go to work at another one and thats when the gambling started...the old casino I used to work at is where now I and most of my CG co=workers gamble...You would think we would know better but you see the addictions can come over on anyone at anytime...I didn't start gambling until I was 39 years old ..the bad part for me is that I have to somehow seperate myself from this...you see we see people that do win lots of money and we want that to also happen to us...I am very happy to see this site is here for discussion

well roxy thats gotta be a hell of a challenge being a cg and still having to be a part of the game. i can see for you more why it would be harder to break away from the game since its tossed into your life style. guess ild be looking for another means of living just to get away from what your faced with. im sure ya never thought your life would turn out like it is just like the rest of us. but try to find another means of living. i cant imagine myself in your shoes and i know we all need to earn a buck to live. but when your giving it back and reaping no rewards from it its time to move on. im sure there those out there that work in the buisness and dont give a cent back into it, but if ya cant why live in the temptation?

dewitt.. I agree on getting out of the business ...unfortunately with jobs being so few in the area i live in... this is about the only thing I can do for now.... i am trying to get through this 1 day at a time..the temptation was there again on thursday i gave in and lost $160 ....I have figured out thats my weakest day of the week...So I have to figure out how to retrain my brain on thursdays not to give in... i think not carrying any debit cards or cash will have to be my solution until this feeling on thursday passes...thx for the support

Roxxy,

I appreciate and repect your viewpoint, and and have lived it all too well. I used to be a human resource director with major casino company; there are many casino employees who share the same addiction as some of their customers. For those that came forth to seek help, and mind you, that was far and few between-I was responsible for leading them to the resources available to get the help they needed. Never dawned on me that I was sitting in the wrong seat the whole time! I still feel pretty embarrassed about that display of hypocrisy today.

Keep fighting the fight...despite your line of work, right now, I understand where you're coming from...it's okay to be determined to tame this beast. Your job is only a temporary means to a new beginning...I know you possess the conviction! We are here to help!