wow, I know that relationships can be a great struggle at times but try to take good care of yourself right now. It is important and you are important.

I can't tell you how to handle your relationship, but I do know that when you first quit, it takes awhile for your thoughts and emotions to even out. So it may not be the best time to make life altering decisions.

When I first quit, I thought I was losing my mind. I didn't have trouble with the urge to gamble, I just felt to uptight and emotional all the time. I had a terrible time concentrating and I felt like I was on the brink of a panic attack for long periods of time. It took many weeks for this to pass but it did.

Hand in there.

I meant to type *Hang* in there.

A lot of times, when we begin to recover, our partners, spouses, friends, etc., have difficulty relating to us because we are no longer the person that they came to know and love. We change and our outlook on life undergoes significant change.

It is best, as said by newlife2014, to get some clean time. once six months or so have passed, you will have a new way of looking at things.

I have felt betrayed by someone I trusted who chose to reveal my addiction. I no longer can trust them and they are not in my life. Of course, this person would have gone away anyway because the relationship was not meant to be. The betrayal I felt just sped it up.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

you have come too far to let this unravel you.....things will sort
themsselves out with time...and with time you will be able to make the right decision regarding this relationship.... DONT GAMBLE!!! YOU KNOW WHERE IT WILL TAKE YOU AGAIN!! XXXXXXX

Thank you all so very much...your comments are well taken, much needed and greatly appreciated...I did not gamble today...stayed busy with other things....am mulling over the relationship part....no need to make decisions on that today....or tomorrow....the timing will be up to me by golly.....and it will be from a place of reason, not reaction.....

I love your attitude donice57! Acting from a place of reason, not reaction is a wonderful thing.

Especially in the early stages of recovery, emotions go up and down. I would be livid if my partner shared my story with others-- as it's not his story to tell. But, now's the time to focus on YOU. I loved reading your last post- it shows a very healthy presence of mind, IMO.

You are absolutely right- no decisions need to be made NOW. I am a firm believer in letting things go their natural course. Do what you need to do for yourself, and the rest will fall into place.

In terms of the GA meeting, while it's not a substitute for "in person", I do believe there's a call-in meeting on Wednesdays (?). Maybe you can do that.

Wish you all the strength and hope in the world to continue on your path of recovery.

Relationships frequently show their true colors in a disaster. When I came clean about my gambling damage, my current personal relationship was the ONLY person who was not kind and supportive in my entire social circle. (We were only involved for about a year and half.)
Disaster in one's life has a way of separated the wheat from the chaff in one's social circle.

Very very true....a lot of empowerment surrounding my initial post. Wish you could all join me for coffee later....in my living room...hummmm...just. an idea but great things are born small in the wee hours of darkness

I've hurt my wife a few times because of this disease.....she can only heal so much but she wants me to get better for our kids...we are great parents and I want to grow old with her. I hope and pray that she can heal again and we can move forward.

Having a good support system is always worth more than gambling. For me I am tired of hurting myself and my potential to do so much more with my life. I see other people I know whose lives are moving ahead. For me I often feel like I am standing still or constantly starting over because of the damage I have caused in my life. I am just tired of it. Such a vicious cycle that's been ongoing for too long. I want it to stop and I know that I have the power to stop it.

to espnbart, i will pray that you and your wife will go through this. have faith

I know you feel betrayed, @donice57.

Like the other people in this group have said, don't do anything rash. On the one hand, yes, your spouse did betray you by revealing your secret to others. Some might say this was egregious and unforgivable But on the other hand, he might need support of his own to get through this time. And by reaching out to someone else, he in turn may be better to support you.

I don't know. I don't know what the answers are for your particular case.

All I know is this: Time will bring clarity.

Thank you all.....as I round the corner of day 17 gamble free and look forward to day 18......I want to update you.....I have put into practice several very healthy strategies to assist me in this battle. This site being top of the list for support, encouragement, validation and a connection to "those who understand". I journal every night ...using the 20 questions to ask yourself about gambljng as my guide. I have begun to see things about myself from another vantage point. As I move away from my, sweepstakes driven brain, I see how selfish I had become, how disrespectful I was of my significant others feelings...I am finding the person I had lost gouch of within myself. Over the past 6 1/2 years we have we have covered many miles on our journey. There have been mountain tops and gutters, speed bumps and detours. But through it all, we have been there for each other. Last sat he gave me a beautiful engagement ring.....and asked me to be his wife. A new chapter....one that I will not let gambling ruin.