Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Yes, peace. I feel asleep watching TV last night, didn't even make it to my room, I feel asleep early, which is strange for me, I'm a night owl, and I also get up super early for work, needless to say, I get only a few hours of sleep each night. Mostly because I've not been able to turn my "head off." Day 29 for me, today, and with each passing day, I am feeling better. Not thinking about gambling, at least today, I'm feeling hopeful, and a little at "peace" which is rare for me. I was thinking on my way into my office, that its strange, I can never, ever, for the rest of my life gamble, play another game of cards? What if I forget how to play? OKAY how strange is that? I believe that is the mourning part of my brain? Not sure, but I kicked the thought out of my head, real fast! Yes, for me, although its not the politically right thing to say, at least out loud, I will never, I can never, ever again, for the rest of my natural life, ever, place a another bet again, no matter what, no card games, no home games, no casinos, no lottery tickets, no wagering, or placing a bet of any kind, ever again, for the rest of my life, one day at a time. I'm okay with that, but to be fair, I get butterflys in my stomach when I say it to myself. Mourning this addiction, wow. I will let it go, with love, I will let it go with love, I will LET IT GO, with love as I kick it to the curb and tell it to get the hell out of my life. One day at a time. xoxoxo. I get to do the day, humble, grateful and today, a tiny slice o heaven, called peace. Have a good GF day my sweet cyber space family.
Leapyear22
I type quickly, so disregard the typos, I "fell asleep early." Not feel asleep lol.
chargergirl
Leap I am so happy for you. I am new to this site but I have to say in two days your support have given me new life. I am still at rock bottom but your post today gives me "hope" that it will get better. Have a wonderful day... xoxoxo
Leapyear22
Chargergirl, its hope that keeps me going. Honestly, its so hard, but, I have hope, which is a heck of a lot more than I had when I was out there, sitting in a casino for days on end, gambling away my emotions, my pride, my happiness, my hard earned money, hurting myself, my family, my friends, my dogs, etc. Hope, sweet girl, is all I have, combined with faith, and a serious desire to stay in recovery this time. You, being here, every day, gives me happiness, and the hope / support I need too. Please, don't give up on yourself, today, you are GF, so, celebrate it, embrace it, and stay with me. xoxo
chargergirl
I'm here Leap. I keep this site open all day at work for fear of closing it my support and encouragement will be gone. I can relate to each and everyone of your feelings. You mentioned gambling away your dogs. I changed my profile picture today to show my "Beloved Prince". When I separated last year and moved in with my sister I took my precious boy Prince. He was a gift from heaven (also a gift from my husband). I was grieving the loss of my mom. my marriage, my home, my possessions but this little boy loved me unconditionally. I spent a lot of time away from him gambling. He was home alone most of the time. Then on Christmas Eve (while I was at work NOT gambling thank God) he was mauled by a pitbull. He died instantly and when I got home (driving like a maniac) I just held his lifeless body. I felt so guilty for all the time he was left alone while I gambled. I buried him at my parent's house along with all the other family pets that have passed. My father had a plaque made for him to put on the "Living Tree" (this is a tree my parent's planted when they first bought their house 49 years ago). Please go home and hug your dogs for me today. Our pets are the forgotten ones in this awful addiction. Their love is unconditional and I miss my Beloved Prince.... xoxoxo
Leapyear22
Thank you Chargergirl. I had so much guilt when I would come home to my dogs, I have three of them, and one is 15 years old, and my sweet, sweet girl, that I love so much. Nothing could keep me from her, but gambling did, for a long time, I would leave her for days, its just amazing to me what this addiction can do to us, if we let it. xoxo hang in there.
Cherbear2012
I'll join the doogie club. Here is my Abby girl. My little Dashhound. She will be 12 years old on May 8th which is also my birthday. I love her dearly. She is completely blind due to unknown causes. It happened over the past two years. There were a few times during my gambling days that I left her in my car while gambling. I made sure it was not too hot or too cold but it was definately lonely. One night a very bad thunder storm came while she was waiting for me in my van. The van had motorized doors. She must have been so scared because she jumped up and hit the button to open the door. I was paged in the casino and told the door was open on my van. I was imediately terrified. I thought she could be gone. I ran to my van as fast as I could in the pouring rain. I was praying all the way back to my van that she would still be in there and would be ok. When I got to my van, the door was still open and she was just sitting in there. I cried & cried and I told her how sorry I was. I felt so bad. She could have been lost or stolen due to my selfish gambling. After that, I didn't bring her along in the car but she did stay home without me too often. What a waste of precious time that I could have spent with her. It makes me so sad.
Leapyear22
Cherbear, OMG, I can't tell you how many times I came home and told my dogs I was sorry. I have a blind 15 year old maltese, Sugar, who I love more than anything, my daughter often said she wondered if I loved my dog more than her lol, of course that isn't true, I love them both just as much :) Yes, I too had a ton of guilt, but I get to enjoy them now, love them so much. My Sugar is 15, and past her life expectancy for a little dog, but she is my heart. Your puppy looks so darn cute! Yeap, she was wipe the tears off my face, sit with me, love me, no matter what. xoxo
deleted_user
My dog has also been such a huge help for me while trying to become GF. Posting her picture in my profile too to show solidarity with you all. sometimes when I really get the urge to gamble, I just look at Ginger (my dog) and say, "wanna go for a walk?!" She always is so excited and it gets me out of the house and away from the computer, which is such a good thing for me. Leap -it sounds like your family has had really special relationships with your pets throughout the years! Cherber and Chargergirl you too. Have any of you ever tried to talk to a psychic and connect with them?
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