Marie,
Your story sounds familiar to me...almost a month ago I was so lost, so lonely, the casinos kicked my butt once again...Slowly but surely tomorrows another day and it brings hope...I know I was beating myself up for awhile but try and hang in there and let this be a horrid lesson of what desperation feels like. I never want to feel that again. Pick yourself up, I know you are a warrior and you can do it. Especially if you want to live a life of freedom, free from the bondage of this terrible addiction. You go girl.

thankyou it just fels like there no way out i can stop for days then just go mad i want to be free from this i hate it but it still comes and gets me i will just have to start again its a form of madness thats wot i can call it am powerless but cant give it up thanks x

Hi Marie
Im glad you found us here. The main thing that helped me when I hit rock bottom was self banning from 7 casinos. Now when I think for a fleeting moment about going, I know I can't. I've made it 44 days so far. There was a time that I thought I couldn't, but one thing you'll find out is youre stronger than you know. My advice is to find a g.a. meeting close to you. It has helped me alot.
Stay strong
Hugs
Lisa

One day at a time. Journal, read other peoples stories. You re not alone in this. We are here for you! Sending much hope and support!

You aren't alone. This is such a brutal addiction we have. People sympathize and understand drugs, alcohol, etc..but the general public doesn't understand gambling addiction. Come here. If its a casino, look into "banning" yourself. It's not for everybody but it helped me. I was suicidal less than a year ago. All my savings is gone and I have more debt to the IRS and credit cards that idk when I'll ever pay it off. But we are so much more than our addiction as are you. You are amongst not only friends but peers. Who struggle, fight, cry, let people down, and understand. You matter and you are loved. Even if you don't post, come here and read. It'll help. Don't let those that don't understand beat you down either. It takes heart and courage just to admit you have a problem and to cry out to a forum like this. I'll pray for you.

welcome maria! i think we all wish we had a magic wand to just wave and stop this beast...unfortunately not that easy. if you read previous posts im sure you will see that many of us our taming this beast one day at a time with various methods like g.a, self banning, limiting access to money and of course daily strenght. we are all here for you if you have any questions, comments or just want to rant abit. most of us have been to hell and back with this addiction so you are not alone. its a tough battle i cant lie...but if you commit yourself fully to it you will succeed...most of us never thought we could quit neither. best wishes to you

thankyou all iv got though today but its been bad for me thought i was losing my mind i couldnt even go to a ga meeting thought i was going to have a break down iv told my 2 daughters to ban there cards i use to gamble am ashamed to say there really understanding iv told them to take my money as i can deal with this iv ban my self out of other betting shops but i find another so its best me not having money for along time till am strong am on hoilday with my daughters next month and lost all are money iv told them and there great but i cant keep doing this to them sorry for going on am so stessed how do i stop thinking of gambling and just walk past i know these places i go are the winners am the big loser i need to come on here everyday for help till am strong to go to ga thankyou hugs to all x

Hi Marie, welcome, glad you are here!
Every day that you dont gamble will get better:-)\
Take it one day at a time .....

Marie, PLEASE... BAN YOURSELF from ALL casinos in your area NOW! For me, it was the ONLY way. This addiction will replay itself like a broken record if you don't. You want a normal life again? -
DO IT! And don't look back! This is twenty years of compulsive gambling talking.

Marie, most of us have been there, like a moth to the flame. As those above me have said...Use ALL the weapons in your arsenal to fight this battle. Prepare for the withdrawal, knowing there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel that is called "your life". A life free of this insanity. A life filled with honesty, and focus, and a calm core. The life you are crying out for right now.

JP I am interested in hearing more about your story. You said in your post "this is twenty years of compulsive gambling talking" What was the longest period you stopped for? How did you go back? I have been gambling free now for just over one year. I came here broken, afraid and out of control and every day reading other people's stories of strength, victory, failures and challenges helped me to feel I could beat this addiction. Today I am taunted with that voice once again telling me I am free now and can just go as a "social gambler" does the voice ever go away?

Rainietoo, the longest period I stopped for was about 2 1/2 years. That's when I went to every casino in town and banned myself - except for one, an indian casino. I didn't give that place much regard.

One day after the 2 1/2 years, when I felt like I had everything in my life back in order and was sitting on about $15k cash, I told myself that very thing: "I'll just gamble a little, just enough to have some fun and I'll go home without any real pain."

Don't believe that lie, there is no such thing as "social" gambling for a problem gambler. That little trigger has cost me an estimated $30k over about 30 months, all of it gone forever. that was money I was saving for my son's college and now I'm struggling to pay that as it comes.

Problem gambling is a lifelong battle and as long as your brain has the memory path to excite you in the way that Pavlov's dog was excited to receive a reward when a bell was rung etc., it won't take much effort for that action to excite you again. It only took me a few weeks to revert back to what I was before I had stopped.

A problem gambler has no control over that monster, it's best to just leave it lay and keep your distance. You'll have to trust me on that, i know what I'm talking about.

I am having such a hard time. I was gambling free for over 2 months and today i had extreme stress and lost a lot of money. I am on a disability and don't have the money to spend. credit cards, line of credit how will i ever repay them. I can't talk to my partner because when i mention it i get yelled at because of our finances. I just can't stop crying. You people are the only ones i can talk to. We do not have any gamblers anon meetings here and when i bring it up to my counsellor she doesn't want to talk about it either. I just want to stop for good. help

Icandoit, how long have you had this problem? Do you understand at all why you gamble? If you really want to stop you need to have yourself banned from the casino - you understand? Or maybe you feel like everything you have is invested there and maybe you feel like gambling is the only way out? Let me tell you - it won't end well like that, trust me. Banning yourself is the beginning of the way out. It will just get worse if you keep feeding your addiction.

If things are really bad you could consider personal bankruptcy, doing so would put you in a position to renegotiate your debts - legally. but if you go that far you should first be sure to ban yourself because you won't have a way out for a long time.

And you will need to learn to live on budget - on just what you bring in because your credit will be shot for awhile. but you would actually be surprised how your finances can bounce back once you stop gambling, you may not have to go through all that.

Also, if you have medical coverage, many insurance companies will subsidize addiction therapy. You should inquire.

I say all these things from experience and for your consideration and I pray that you find the strength to get matters right in your life.