Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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Cristiangel
Cristiangel

I have been on and off on this site. I have been a compulsive gambler for the last 6 years or so. I started going to a casino that is about 100 miles from my home. I lost a lot of money over those last 4-5 years. In more recent years, I have been playing slots online. Online slots is almost worst since it could be played at anytime. It is so convenient. I have used slot playing as a way to escape stress, from being bored, even to celebrate. My life is often very routine, monotonous, stressful and full of dead ends that I have been trying to find a way out of.... over and over again. I seek therapy 3 times a week, even see a therapist who specializes in gambling addiction. I even go to diabolical based therapy. It helps a little sometimes. However, when times get rough (and I am most vulnerable), I am back to online slots. I have been better, though about not putting all my money back in. Once I receive payout, I immediately go to my local grocery store and buy gift cards with my winnings so that I don’t lose the money.  I sometimes attend gamblers anonymous meetings. Sometimes it helps but only for a while when I eventually I go back. In April, I am worried about filing for taxes. I will have to tell my husband all that I won and lost. He has already dealt with these problems for the last 5 years. I don’t even want to post how much I played due to shame. My husband thinks I don’t gamble anymore. At the same time,  I wish he would not keep giving me money every time I ask for it. I have asked him to not, but he continuously does. I have asked him to help me by handling the finances but he doesn’t. I definitely need help but am not being helped. I ask for it (through counseling, husband, etc.), but nothing is working. Even my parents (who are also gambling addicts) sometimes encourage me to gamble (even when they know the problems that I have). There is no one that I could reliably count on who could help me.  I feel so trapped like there is no one but myself who could help me. However, often I feel incapable of helping myself stop. I try to distract myself and it helps but not for long. The longest that I have abstained from gambling this year is for 1 month. Thank you for reading my post. Any suggestions are appreciated. 


yes2recovery
yes2recovery
I'm sorry that you're in distress. It sounds like you have some support: therapist, DBT, counseling, so I imagine they have given you ideas and tools, but there is no magic anyone can do to "fix" this addiction. We have to put the tools and strategies into practice, no matter what anyone else is doing--or not doing--to either help or sabotage us. For me, that starts with deleting all my online slot accounts, blocking access to casinos and gambling venues wherever I can, and blocking my money. None of it is perfect, and sometimes I just have to white-knuckle through an urge. Sometimes I tell myself all the ways gambling has hurt me and why it's not worth the temporary relief. If your husband can't/won't help you, you may need to find another way to block your money. Maybe your gambling counselor can suggest some ideas. Others in this group have posted about using a professional payee to manage their finances, Qwit4Good has some really good posts with lists of tools and ideas so you might look through the threads for those. I don't have the solution for you, but I hope you will keep working at it, because you deserve a gamble-free life. Today I will not gamble.
Cristiangel
Cristiangel
Thank u yes2recovery!
Qwit4Good
Qwit4Good
Is your husband going to counseling too? Often gambling or any addiction is a symptom displayed by one member of a greater family dysfunction. In my state, lottery $ pays for counseling for the gambler AND those who love a gambler. So the loved ones of a compulsive gambler can get therapy even if their gambler is not seeking help. Often things about codependence, sabotage and family power are the roots to our addictions. I would encourage everyone to go to counseling together, the situation you are in is so wrought with secrecy and codependence it is likely you all could benefit from counseling or you can wait until someone goes berzerk. (Which is the eventual outcome with all these bottled up feelings and secrets.) Meanwhile, keep talking to your counselor, and maybe get an adult coloring book and use it to help ease your anxiety. Hugs
Cristiangel
Cristiangel
Good advice! Thank you!
Robin-Mc
Robin-Mc
Online gambling may seem convenient, but in the end it’s a bottomless pit for a compulsive gambler. Personally, I believe it should be illegal.
Your situation sounds a lot like mine because I’m also married and my husband has been there for me through many years of my addiction. I’ve never gambled online, so we don’t have that in common. Online gambling frightens me the way jumping in front of a fright train would, it’s scares me deep down inside. I no longer work, but when I did it was all computers, in large casino/hotels, here in Vegas. When the internet first came to be is when I began to fear what could potentially happen online, I was afraid of having it my home because by that time I had children. I realize my fear was a bit compulsive. But, that’s kind of how I am.
Anyway, love all the advice you’ve been given so far, it’s the gold, it’s the good stuff. When it comes to marriage, I admit my advice would be based on only what I’ve learned in my own. My husband didn’t let me access to our bank accounts, he manages the bills. He’s generous, so I can’t complain about not having what I need and even sometimes what I want. Still, I know he’s never going to understand this addiction. And today I understand that. Even if he did understand this addiction, my addiction, today I understand that the only one that needs to understand it is myself. I can live with that.
You’re capable of abstinence if want it badly enough. It’s the same with any addiction, you must want sobriety more than you want to stay in your addiction. It truly is something that clicks inside your heart as well as your mind. CLICK - I’M DONE GAMBLING. Never give up on yourself, you’re here and it sure sounds like you want this and need this new path in your life. It’s yours for the taking.
We’re here for you.
Today I will not gamble