Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
So even after coming in and writing here, and even after calling a help line and signing up for 30 free sessions of therapy, I literally left my first session and went to gamble. Overdrafted my OTHER bank account and left myself with literally $20 to my name for gas. Lost my job three weeks ago. I have never EVER been this destitute. I think this is my rock bottom.
I've begun the embarassing process of self-exclusion. Only a couple of casinos left. Wanted to go to a few last shows (free tickets/comps) but maybe I'm not even capable of that. I overdrew $180 and got up to $280, which would have given me SOME cushion for a week or so before any income comes in, but that just wasn't good enough. I am surprised I even left with the $20 for gas. I'm such a mess. I have another therapy session on Saturday at 11am, and am so committed to getting well at this point.
I also know that I desperately want to play poker tournaments as a sport/hobby (something that has never been a real problem for me - the real problem has been slots/blackjack/cash games), but that may also be a stupid thing to hold on to. I'm such a good tournament player but always seem to blow the winnings on 'stupid' gambling.
My wakeup call came when I spent a week's worth of my girlfriend's rent money, and then proceeded to lie about it for a whole day before coming clean. I borrowed money from a family member to pay that, but I owe 2 full months of rent myself. I'm scared of being thrown out... I have several cards in charge-off... the only thing I haven't really lost is my car.
I feel so empty and destitute and can't wait to get better...
I've begun the embarassing process of self-exclusion. Only a couple of casinos left. Wanted to go to a few last shows (free tickets/comps) but maybe I'm not even capable of that. I overdrew $180 and got up to $280, which would have given me SOME cushion for a week or so before any income comes in, but that just wasn't good enough. I am surprised I even left with the $20 for gas. I'm such a mess. I have another therapy session on Saturday at 11am, and am so committed to getting well at this point.
I also know that I desperately want to play poker tournaments as a sport/hobby (something that has never been a real problem for me - the real problem has been slots/blackjack/cash games), but that may also be a stupid thing to hold on to. I'm such a good tournament player but always seem to blow the winnings on 'stupid' gambling.
My wakeup call came when I spent a week's worth of my girlfriend's rent money, and then proceeded to lie about it for a whole day before coming clean. I borrowed money from a family member to pay that, but I owe 2 full months of rent myself. I'm scared of being thrown out... I have several cards in charge-off... the only thing I haven't really lost is my car.
I feel so empty and destitute and can't wait to get better...
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
On a lighter note, credit cards being charged off is not all bad. I was able to settle HUGE credit card debts for 15% (or 15 cents on the dollar owed) by waiting 2+ years to settle with collection agencies. A gambling addict's life is better without credit, but down the road, credit repair is possible. It's not the end of the world.
Budsmudge, thank you for sharing your experience with managed gambling. I often fantasize that I could gamble in a controlled way but deep down I know I can't. The image of me playing $20 and walking away is like my brother drinking just one beer- ain't gonna happen.