Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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madscratcher 04/14/2016

I decided that, because it was going to be difficult to get away for my birthday, I would allow myself to use some money to buy scratch-off tickets. After all, I reasoned, I've been so good! It's my most fun thing to do! Except, as I painfully discovered once again, it really isn't. I got caught in a terrible spiral that leached into the following day. I had recounted it all here in this posting and then erased it -- no need to trigger anyone. But because I don't have really anyone to discuss my gambling problems with, I hope you'll indulge me if I use this forum to stiffen my resolve to say: I will not gamble this year. That will be my birthday present to me for the rest of 2016. Hopefully, it will last long beyond that.

nancyzoman 04/15/2016

Hang in there. This is a disease and a serious one that isn't to be reckoned with. Until we accept its power and magnitude in our lives, to the extent we keep putting Recovery as The Most Important Thing, we are likely to keep relapsing.

I didn't want to acknowledge I had a problem for years. It was a hobby, a way to make some extra money, a way to blow off steam after work and to celebrate life's little windfalls. But then it got way out of hand, and I was still finding myself denying there was a problem. During that period, I kept on going back. Sometimes I would make it a month, sometimes three, but I kept on going back.

It wasn't until self-banning, this forum, some good therapy and a lot of reading that I discovered my commitment to recovery is the glue that will make the rest of my life possible. Not being dramatic, not waxing poetic, but being dead serious: Recovery has to be your #1 priority.

madscratcher 04/16/2016

Thank you very much for your answer. I also appreciate a lot of your postings -- very helpful indeed. I think I felt that I wasn't good enough to spend money on normal things for my birthday, so I gambled. My weird reasoning on a very deep level has always been: I don't deserve good things. If I gamble and win, I can take winnings and spend that money on myself. Of course, winning is rare and often followed by an attempt to win more that may in fact be a way to lose whatever i've won. it's sick.

Qwit4Good 04/17/2016

Yes, sick is what it is. We are sick when we think gambling is a reward, punishment or a way to make money. We know better, but our inner gambler does not.
For me it is constant vigilance to monitor my thoughts and redirect myself to something other than gambling. My inner gambler is a child with lots of magical thinking, she does not realize that gambling is for people who are bad at math. (All she knows is it feels good.) Fat and sugar taste good, but a steady diet of it is deadly.
Learning to love and care for myself has been very difficult but essential to feeling "okay" and satisfied with life. (It has taken therapy for me.)
Try to remember how bad you feel about this spiral the next time your inner gambler thinks it would be a good idea.
Hugs and Prayers

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