Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I'm headed toward 120 days clean but that reminder of the destruction can be fresh enough, I need that to keep me straight. Never again can I allow my head to think I'm ok and can gamble like others. It's a dead end street, and a dead end life. I don't want to go back. It will not drag me back to that hell.
Gambling sucks ass
Gambling sucks ass
I dealt with anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, feeling less than the lowest worm, nearly loss of freedom. It is the image of myself in utter despair that keeps me from ever wanting to repeat that. Coupled with the fact, that I feel so much better now than I have for years.
Additionally, reading posts or seeing people in my face to face group in excruciating pain evokes thoughts my own pain and self-destruction, that reinforces my decision to NEVER go there again.
Those false hopes and beliefs were one of my biggest battles, to absolutely convince myself that I am powerless over gambling. The only power I have is to change my thought processes in an early intervention. It takes constant vigilance and energy to monitor my thoughts, analyze what beliefs (like I can be a social gambler again) are driving that thought and perform an early intervention on myself to redirect myself. My inner gambler is like a spoiled and demanding child. As I learn to take care of myself she becomes more satisfied and less demanding. When I have an urge I try to figure out what need I have that is unmet.
I know now, that it is my life I am fighting for, as gambling was not living but running away from life. Today, my life is worth being present for and living it.