Try counseling again,GA, game block on your computer.Anything and everything. Get serious about beating gambling. Go for it, it is your life and happiness on the line.

I have been ten years, a fortune.
I have attempted quitting about 335 times. Guestimate.
this time I feel differently because the money is getting hard to come by and with all of the reading, counseling and GA I finally realize that I need to make better choices. I am emotionally immature and react to the stressors in my life. I am reading and doing GA and learning new coping skills. You can look some of this up on the internet.
It must become your new habit to make better choices of your time and money and having someone you are personally responsible to, to keep asking how you are doing and someone to call can help.
Their are many books out there now about urges and coping skills and learning how to not react to your feelings.
Make this your new program. Your new education as if you were going for a degree.
That's my plan because this is just sick and I am sick and tired of it. I hope that you are too.'
The very best .

Welcome todspark.
Ditto to the first two posts. The act of seeking this site is lighting the way to the right path, don't turn away and do the right thing.
Hang in there,
Jay

Hi Todspark,

I have been gamble free a few months, fell off the wagon, and now gamble free a few months again. I really feel this is the final quit for me because, being an escape gambler, I finally realized that I had to deal with my problems, not escape from them by gambling. Gambling only makes a bad day worse.

I know you can't cure your father's cancer, but maybe if you accepted it as fact it would help keep your gambling impulses from being so strong. I know the uncontrollable urge to gamble at that moment seems uncontrollable and you want to run away, but YOU CAN choose a better way--please stop gambling. The recovery process takes time and effort but it is SO WORTH IT! You're worth it! Be good to yourself. I like my gamble free life now so much better. You could too :o)

(((BIG HUG)))
Cathy

I lost my twin brother years ago and it took years to finally come out because i buried it so deeply. I hate to say, but when he died I told myself i would live for both of us and have not lived realistically since. Well, it is time to grow up and accept that this is how life is and to make better choices. I am finding that for me i need to have the personal responsibility to someone as i have gambled completely unknown to my family and friends for years.
I can only suggest to keep reading these posts and find what works for you.
I feel more excited than ever with telling my family and having you guys to talk with.
again, for me I feel I needed to tell people, to let it not be the secret I had harbored for so many years.
Keep talking to us, okay.
P
just new to this site and more committed than ever and after two heavy years about 4 days w/o and not a single urge and I am saying this as well to keep me personally responsible to someone.

thanks for your positive replies, well it's the first day with no gambling. I have been having to console my wife today as its affecting her too you don't think it effects other people in your life , but if i don't stop i will lose who I value the most, my wife , so I'm going to beat this , this site feels like my saviour at the moment.

Thank you

You're doing great, Todspark! One day at a time, don't worry about tomorrow...just make your recovery process a priority & come here for help & you will be making progress. I read a lot of books on addiction too and it really helps. Gather as many tools as you can to help your recovery & you'll find what works best for you.

Actually, gambling affects everyone in your life. Your wife, the rest of your family, your friends, your coworkers, your employer....it affects everyone. Just hang in there and it will get better & easier as you go along. You've made that very first important step :o)

Please, please , please...
please listen carefully.When I first started and realized I was hooked because I needed an escape, I went to my GF telling her I lost 15k and that I felt horrible. I was devastated and broken.

She prayed with me, but told me if I didn't take responsibility for it, I would lose much more . ..she was right. I lost at least 10 x more that amount.
Today, I am disappointed. I almost lost the house and have put me and my family in a horrible financial position.
I UNDERSTAND NEEDING THE ESCAPE, AND THE EXCITEMENT. DONT DO IT. You are only hurting yourself. Get a fee online game or two and play it. Solitaire..whatever. Trust me...its a hell of a lot cheaper and less painful. Then, help others. I know it sounds crazy, when you are in need..but when I help others it takes my mind off of my problems and makes me feel good to see the difference I am making in other peoples lives. God Bless....my prayers are with you. :)

I have been reading something recently and it makes sense.
As I said in recent posts I have tried not to live realistically because the world seemed so harsh to me.
It states that you will never be and can never be happy without
ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance of the world we live in; the things that happen and the people around us. This comes a lot from old Bhuddist thinking , I think, as well.
I have always run to the casino whenever I felt a little umcomfortable. I say lonely, afraid... to get a feeling, to get rid of a feeling, to escaped etc.
But doesn't it all boil down to the fact that we just don't accept reality and people and are always trying to change something or have something.
I am going to work work work on accepting what I have, not what I lost.
Accept who is in my life, not who isn't.
Accept where I am at in life, not where I could be.
God bless good luck and keep keep posting.
We all need to stick together and post a lot.
It will give us something to do and as the last person said
help others.
Well who better to help than each other because this here addiction is about the worst.,. it takes your mind, body, soul, family and friends and all your money too.

been a hard 1 today been up and down like a yo yo got tempted to gamble but managed to stay strong.

Today is day seven for me. I find checking into this site as well as Gamtalk helps a lot! I usually log on a few times a day and just read the posts and post things myself. I find doing this keeps me in touch and focused on not gambling today. I also find telling myself all the reasons I don't want to gamble helps. I have recently bought two new products for my kitchen. ( a juicer and an Actifry) These two items cost me what I would spend in one visit to the casino. Watching my family enjoy using these items as well as myself really speaks volumes about how I choose to spend my money. At the casino I would have lost the money sitting playing slots, wasting my day and then driving home feeling guilty and ashamed. No thanks! I am going to keep coming back and one day at a time I can do this! So can you!!!

Can you look and see what where the triggers for the urges?
Can you see any pattern as to why you would have gambled?
Then look at how this time , yeah!!! THIS TIME, you said screw you to the robbery and kept you money, your sanity, and your sense of self worth and did not go.
WAY TO GO.
I want to start choosing life instead of a slow miserable financial and personal death and debt.
Congrats.

You can do this. We all can. I am only one week past my last major gambling binge, in a casino and online. I've installed a trial version of 'betfilter', which was recommended to me on this site. It works ! At least try the free trial and see how you make out. I'm sorry to hear about your father and wish him, and you and your family, the best that can be given in the situation. Having a week behind me, I am finally (and as I have many times before) thinking more clearly and realizing a few obvious things. The past is the past. We can do nothing to change it. What we can change is our present, our today, our tomorrow. Dust off and think back to the days when money meant something real. This is what's important I think; to regain our sense of self. We are bigger than what brings us down. Best wishes to you, your father, and your wife.

I fell, I can't believe it but only five days. I haven't had one week w/o gambling for the last two years. I am getting strapped for available cash and really needed the money to get by for the next two months. Spent it all.
I have made an appt. with a counselor and going to mtg. on Monday night. Which I was not going to do. Didn't like it the few times I went.
But I was certain I was going to be able to do this by telling my family etc. making myself responsible for my actions.
I need way more help. I can see that now.
Dear God, if i could only go back to ten years ago when I thought that gambling was about the stupidest thing around.
I am so tired and exhausted from worry and remorse and trying to understand what this is and why I have it.
I am so sorry about your father and might suggest seeing a counselor concerning the trauma. I lost my twin years ago and needed a counselor, it is extrememly hard to accept.
A good book "death and dying" Kuhbler - Ross.
Been around for many years only one that tells of the stages of grieving and loss.
I know that I had no regrets with my brother because I did all I could do for him. That's all we can do.
god bless you and your family and your dad.
LIke darlingd says " when money was real." I don't know what happened, it seems like the stressors of life made me feel money meant nothing, and I had a lot at the time, but now the regrets about money bother me to no end. So as she says I think we can only concentrate and focus on the future. Acceptance is key. I believe.
My beliefs are a little shaky right now too because I fell last night.
again, didn't even bother to acknowledge the triggers. Stress and loneliness for me.

thanks for all the nice comments,i nearly slipped up today without thinking i was at at my parents went online click on one of the sites realized what i was doing but the temptation nearly got the better of me, thinking i'll just put a small amount on but luckily i was strong and didn't give in , .

Stay strong my friends and think what you could lose.