Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I still have a friend that I used to go to the casino with. I am friends with her on Facebook. Awhile back I had told her I could no longer go to the casino with her and that I was a compulsive gambler. She understood and we would do other things with each other.
Yesterday I saw she posted pictures on Facebook of her and her boyfriend at the casino and stating that she needed the escape. When I observed her photos I went back to the times in my mind that her and I would escape together. The first thoughts were of the fun and excitement that we had. But then the thoughts of loosing all my money surfaced. I remembered the boredom and the heavy smoke in the air. The feeling of defeat when I would have to go to the ATM and draw out more money to continue to chase the dollar. The times when she would run out of money before me and I would give her money just so we could play longer. The fact that I would always have to drive us because she refused to drive us. And the biggest fact was I was completely clean of gambling for a year a couple of years ago. She got me started again. I can't blame her but I let her convince me that we could just go up and have fun together. I did and after several months of just trying to be a social gambler I fell right into the trap. I would go up to the casinos every weekend. Saturday nights, all day Sunday and Monday afternoons. Win/loose, win/loose, win/loose. That became my life again. With her or without her. I was at the casino every weekend like clockwork. My compulsiveness came back and for a year and a half I lost a fortune.
Thank goodness I recently stopped the madness. And I recognize my weaknesses and refuse to place myself in a situation that could create the compulsiveness again. I am now 52 days clean and much happier. For me escape is going to a movie or watching television now.
Thank you for reading my post. And cheers to a gamble free weekend.
Yesterday I saw she posted pictures on Facebook of her and her boyfriend at the casino and stating that she needed the escape. When I observed her photos I went back to the times in my mind that her and I would escape together. The first thoughts were of the fun and excitement that we had. But then the thoughts of loosing all my money surfaced. I remembered the boredom and the heavy smoke in the air. The feeling of defeat when I would have to go to the ATM and draw out more money to continue to chase the dollar. The times when she would run out of money before me and I would give her money just so we could play longer. The fact that I would always have to drive us because she refused to drive us. And the biggest fact was I was completely clean of gambling for a year a couple of years ago. She got me started again. I can't blame her but I let her convince me that we could just go up and have fun together. I did and after several months of just trying to be a social gambler I fell right into the trap. I would go up to the casinos every weekend. Saturday nights, all day Sunday and Monday afternoons. Win/loose, win/loose, win/loose. That became my life again. With her or without her. I was at the casino every weekend like clockwork. My compulsiveness came back and for a year and a half I lost a fortune.
Thank goodness I recently stopped the madness. And I recognize my weaknesses and refuse to place myself in a situation that could create the compulsiveness again. I am now 52 days clean and much happier. For me escape is going to a movie or watching television now.
Thank you for reading my post. And cheers to a gamble free weekend.
I am not sure if you value this person's friendship as a friend outside of gambling. Is the friendship one that you value? If so, then explore other things with her. Relationships have to be nurtured to survive. I think that friendships based upon acting out together are really not true friendships. What two or more people have in common is that they drink, smoke, drug, act out, gamble, etc., together and once that part of the friendship no longer exists, then the friendship also ends. That is not a bad thing, and it is actually a good thing. I struggle enough with my own internal addiction with gambling and I do not need to have an acquaintance encourage my addiction. I am better off without that person in my life.
I think, and I have heard others say this, is that we need to grieve the absence of our addiction. My addiction does something for me, that is why I keep going back, why I am addicted, and it is very strong. Along with grieving the loss of the benefit of my addiction is that I have to grieve the loss of that life. I have to replace it with something else that is equally or even more beneficial.
Facebook friends...are they really truly friends? I have had people contact me on Facebook that I have not had in my life for 30 years, that I have nothing in common with today, and that I never ever see or spend time with; are they really my friends? No, they are Facebook friends. I get more benefit from the different groups I subscribe to on Facebook than my Facebook friends. But that is me. It may be different for you.
Congratulations on 52 days of abstinence from this horrid addiction.
My ultimate point here, is that I think we, compulsive gamblers, need to look closely at our intimate and non-intimate friendships/relationships and attempt to discern if they are healthy for us or not. Then take appropriate action, like setting boundaries or removing them from your speed dial. When our life is in turmoil from any kind of disaster, it usually separates the wheat from the chaff in our social circle.
There is no going back to being a social gambler, once we are past a certain stage. I know, I wished I could be a social gambler, but that is not what it is. I cannot control my gambling other than by not doing it. I am an all or nothing person for gambling. I have gambling addiction similar to an alcoholic. I remind myself of that every day. I hope this is of some help amerprin, it is a common issue I have wrestled with much in my life.
Prayers and (((Hugs)))
I hope that there are other friends and companions in your life who will help to support you on your journey. If not, know that we are all here for you!