Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I have been slowly self-excluding from all of my local casinos. I originally left only 2 open, one that gives me comps which haven't quite run out yet (though slowed significantly since I have hardly been going) ...and another with a poker room that has incredible tournaments, in a building totally separate from the casino (which is great, because I have a slot problem ... even when I typically do well at poker).
Well, last night, I went up to the one with the great comps. Won $100 straight away - not good enough (OF COURSE). Didn't leave my ATM cards at home. Withdrew a total of $800. Lost $600 before I finally said ENOUGH. Went and self-excluded from the entire tribe, which closes the doors on like 6 casinos in Florida.
On my way home, I stopped off at the one with the card room that I like, with the intention of self-excluding there. I had $200 left in my pocket and sat down to play cards instead. I won enough to have cut my total losses for the day down to $400. I was just $5 shy of being up an even $200, so I stayed for a few more hands - ended up losing the entire $400 in front of me in about 3 bad beats.
A total of $840 for the day. Unbelievable, since that is the amount of the UNEMPLOYMENT check that I just got after fighting for 2 months to be approved.
I chose to self-exclude there as well, despite the great card room. I figured I would select a year of self-exclusion like I have at most of them (though, with all, you have to write letters, etc, to get your ban lifted). I need time away from all of this to really gain some clarity, to see if I even want to continue playing cards. Of course, they don't have a 1-year option at this place... which is the one I wanted to leave open more than all of them. After a few minutes of deliberating, I said to myself, "Whatever, I can't go home to my girlfriend knowing I've lost another $800 without saying I've closed some more doors for myself." I'm hoping that after a year of being self-excluded from most of these (and lifetime and 2 others), that I just won't WANT to go back anymore. I will have more money, more self-confidence, more overall contentment.
I had been about 3 weeks sober and was feeling SO good. I had money in two bank accounts, all the current bills were paid (except being $1800 behind on rent), and I was finally about to make a rent payment to begin getting caught up. I was just telling my girlfriend how great I have been feeling -- despite being so behind on rent, I had a plan for getting caught up by December. We've had money to go out and eat, buy a few things for ourselves (I got my first pair of shoes in quite a long time).
And then she goes off to work on a Saturday night and I lose total control. I've been fighting the urge for the entire 3 weeks... so this is what I do??? Didn't leave the ATM cards at home... took both... went absolutely nuts. Left myself with $500 to my name when I'm almost 2k behind on rent. I'm such a miserable bastard, really. I came home and just sobbed in bed last night like a little kid - and I feel like I don't deserve someone who's going to then be so good to me. She wiped my tears, rubbed my head and my back and helped me fall asleep ... after I went out and pissed on more than $800. She doesn't know how much I lost yet.... when I first spoke to her last night, I was down $300, and that's what I told her. I hate the day after gambling, the trying to rationalize, the coming clean about what I've lost, the creating-a-new-financial plan. In some ways, I think I enjoy the challenge of digging myself out, but I also hate it at the same time. It's like the worst hangover ever.
There is only one casino left, and they don't really have a self-exclusion program. You write a letter to the tribe and wait to hear back from them. It's kind of nuts. I'm going to work on it today anyway, because it's only 30 minutes from my house... and it's the casino where all of this began more than 10 years ago, when it was basically the only game in town. It's disgusting and smoke-filled (everyone there chain smokes - GROSS), but now that it's the only open door, I know I would go right on back there if I can't find a way to self-exclude.
And I've heard of people continuing to gamble at these places after self-exclusion, and never getting caught - is that true? I really hope not. It's the fear of getting caught that immobilizes me... it would be so embarrassing - not to mention, they won't pay you if you win a jackpot, which takes the desire to play slot machines right on out of me.
So sick of the game. Can't wait until I can have some peace.
Well, last night, I went up to the one with the great comps. Won $100 straight away - not good enough (OF COURSE). Didn't leave my ATM cards at home. Withdrew a total of $800. Lost $600 before I finally said ENOUGH. Went and self-excluded from the entire tribe, which closes the doors on like 6 casinos in Florida.
On my way home, I stopped off at the one with the card room that I like, with the intention of self-excluding there. I had $200 left in my pocket and sat down to play cards instead. I won enough to have cut my total losses for the day down to $400. I was just $5 shy of being up an even $200, so I stayed for a few more hands - ended up losing the entire $400 in front of me in about 3 bad beats.
A total of $840 for the day. Unbelievable, since that is the amount of the UNEMPLOYMENT check that I just got after fighting for 2 months to be approved.
I chose to self-exclude there as well, despite the great card room. I figured I would select a year of self-exclusion like I have at most of them (though, with all, you have to write letters, etc, to get your ban lifted). I need time away from all of this to really gain some clarity, to see if I even want to continue playing cards. Of course, they don't have a 1-year option at this place... which is the one I wanted to leave open more than all of them. After a few minutes of deliberating, I said to myself, "Whatever, I can't go home to my girlfriend knowing I've lost another $800 without saying I've closed some more doors for myself." I'm hoping that after a year of being self-excluded from most of these (and lifetime and 2 others), that I just won't WANT to go back anymore. I will have more money, more self-confidence, more overall contentment.
I had been about 3 weeks sober and was feeling SO good. I had money in two bank accounts, all the current bills were paid (except being $1800 behind on rent), and I was finally about to make a rent payment to begin getting caught up. I was just telling my girlfriend how great I have been feeling -- despite being so behind on rent, I had a plan for getting caught up by December. We've had money to go out and eat, buy a few things for ourselves (I got my first pair of shoes in quite a long time).
And then she goes off to work on a Saturday night and I lose total control. I've been fighting the urge for the entire 3 weeks... so this is what I do??? Didn't leave the ATM cards at home... took both... went absolutely nuts. Left myself with $500 to my name when I'm almost 2k behind on rent. I'm such a miserable bastard, really. I came home and just sobbed in bed last night like a little kid - and I feel like I don't deserve someone who's going to then be so good to me. She wiped my tears, rubbed my head and my back and helped me fall asleep ... after I went out and pissed on more than $800. She doesn't know how much I lost yet.... when I first spoke to her last night, I was down $300, and that's what I told her. I hate the day after gambling, the trying to rationalize, the coming clean about what I've lost, the creating-a-new-financial plan. In some ways, I think I enjoy the challenge of digging myself out, but I also hate it at the same time. It's like the worst hangover ever.
There is only one casino left, and they don't really have a self-exclusion program. You write a letter to the tribe and wait to hear back from them. It's kind of nuts. I'm going to work on it today anyway, because it's only 30 minutes from my house... and it's the casino where all of this began more than 10 years ago, when it was basically the only game in town. It's disgusting and smoke-filled (everyone there chain smokes - GROSS), but now that it's the only open door, I know I would go right on back there if I can't find a way to self-exclude.
And I've heard of people continuing to gamble at these places after self-exclusion, and never getting caught - is that true? I really hope not. It's the fear of getting caught that immobilizes me... it would be so embarrassing - not to mention, they won't pay you if you win a jackpot, which takes the desire to play slot machines right on out of me.
So sick of the game. Can't wait until I can have some peace.
deleted_user
Self Exclusion did not work for me. I went to all four casinos again and they never caught me. It has been 70 days since I last gambled. And the only thing that helped me, was my willpower, GA meetings and my higher power. I have been gambling for last 7 years, have lost more than $400k along with my respect, dignity and finally could not take it any more, was tired of being sick and tired all the time. I could not live my life under constant fear and deceipt, telling lies to my gf and family and friends, tired of 24/7 constant thoughts about gambling...I was not living my life. I could not even plan few days ahead for I would not know if I would have money by that time..What a shame!! I was missing on every little thing in my life and was wasting it away in those dark places filled with smokes, misery, remorse, stress and shame. I wanted to get back my pride, confidence, self respect for this is the only chance we get to live. Every day that we gamble, its not only that we loose money, but we loose our lives, our dignity, love of loved ones, self esteem and our very right to live this life in honour and dignity. I am so tired of this bull shit, these tricks that this addiction plays on us each and every time. I have made a decission to fight this freaking demon, every day of ly life, for the rest of my life. It is now or never. It is between me and casinos. It is the battle of my life and my survival and I am detemined to win this fight. You have to start this FIGHT, be honest to yourself and your gf and really believe in yourself. you are young and have all your life in front of you. I started gambling at your age and its been 7 years and look what has it done to me. We do not get another chance to live. This is our ONLY CHANCE. Lets live our lives to the fullest and enjoy all the little things in life that we dont have time for, when we are wasting out time in gambling. I personally cannot deal with this constant stress and fear. This is it for me. Every night I go to bed with out gambling now, makes me feel so happy that I have defeated my demon today. I did not waste one penny in casino today but rather paid my bills, my car my mortgage, took my gf out for dinner, went and took my little niece out and bought her clothes, paid off my debt etc etc and this bring a smile on my face and I go to sleep in peace knowing that just for today I did not gamble!!
airbear53
i know someone who has two family members that each work at a separate casino in my area. I have recently self excluded myself and i was telling her. I thought it was security at the doors that if anyone was to recognize someone excluded it would be them but she said its the person working survaillance...if they see you on camera. When i self excluded myself i included a photo to make extra sure i would stay out of those places...she said they do have people arrested when they come across people that have excluded themselves...so its really not worth taking the chance..if i did take the chance i wouldnt have a very good time being nervous that at any moment security may come up to me. I wish you the best.....
deleted_user
At this stage of the game, you do everything you can think of to stop gambling whether it works for you or not... at least you give yourself a try. This is a mental illness... the most important part is your brain... what you are thinking. And is the power of your will to help you get thru this.
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