Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I'm over a year and a month free of gambling, and I've self-banned in my state and two neighboring states.
But I still dream about gambling. Last night, I was playing slots, and I won a small fortune. When I woke up, I felt all ecstatic and elated. I felt the rush all over again. And then I remembered it was just a dream, and I was simultaneously disappointed and grateful.
Do any of you still get dreams about gambling? Or if you were able to stop dreaming about it, how did you stop?
As far as I can tell they tend to lessen in frequency over time but not necessarily in intensity. There seems to be two theories floating around as to why it happens. One is that your brain got all that extra dopamine for however long. (close to 4 decades in my case) and it is mechanism that is craving the dopamine and creating the gambling dreams. The other theory is that we went through a major even traumatic event and will continue to have dreams about it periodically throughout our lives. Similar to a war veteran with PTSD or perhaps flashbacks like LSD can give some folks.
For me, once I am fully awake, I thank my higher power that it was only a dream and that act seems to take the edge off it for me.
Fortunately when I am awake I realize the reality of casino gambling is 999 times out of 1000 the outcome will be shame and regret based on my extensive experience with selling my soul to a slot machine.
I sometimes believe that the addictive power of those machines is so strong it changed part of me that I can never undo. I just now accept it will always be there. This is where the dreams come from I believe. I am grateful, however, I now have the tools to shut down all those thoughts and urges that have been branded into my psyche. I fight everyday to stay stronger than the addiction.
I don't believe for one minute the day will ever come where I am not a gambling addict. I am just a gambling addict who stopped wagering. Accepting and understanding this concept is part of the reason I believe I've been successful in recovery. I know I can never gamble again.