Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
How many people feel that gambling has turned them into a completely different person? Has created an alter-ego within you?
On Saturday, I had a sudden urge to gamble. It was very strong. It was so strong it woke me up earlier than what I had intended to wake up. I had cancelled my credit card, but my friend told me that it's only 'de-activated' for 3 months in case you change your mind. Although the bank had told me to cut it up, I didn't.
So I left home and drove to an ATM and tried to withdraw cash from my card. It was working fine as I progressed from screen to screen...until the last screen which said "Transaction declined - please call your bank".
A small part of me was relieved. A large part of me was annoyed. I was annoyed at the 'smart' me who cancelled the card - that was Dr Jekyll. I was now Mr Hyde, on the hunt for cash. I wondered for a long time where I was going to get some instant cash. In the end, I went for a long drive until the urge subsided and Dr Jekyll returned.
Then the next day on Sunday, I was in the office doing some work. After I finished, I realised I had some time to kill. I couldn't go to the casino...or could I?
I called up the bank and asked if it was possible to re-activate my credit card, hoping they could press a few buttons and then my card would work again, then I'd be free to withdraw cash and go gamble. But alas, the girl on the phone said it wouldn't be possible today given it was a weekend.
I felt disappointed and relieved. Once again, Dr Jekyll, with his rational and long term thinking, had done the sensible thing and saved the day. Dr Jekyll knew this urge would come, and had placed restraints to anticipate it. Mr Hyde was beaten...for now.
On Saturday, I had a sudden urge to gamble. It was very strong. It was so strong it woke me up earlier than what I had intended to wake up. I had cancelled my credit card, but my friend told me that it's only 'de-activated' for 3 months in case you change your mind. Although the bank had told me to cut it up, I didn't.
So I left home and drove to an ATM and tried to withdraw cash from my card. It was working fine as I progressed from screen to screen...until the last screen which said "Transaction declined - please call your bank".
A small part of me was relieved. A large part of me was annoyed. I was annoyed at the 'smart' me who cancelled the card - that was Dr Jekyll. I was now Mr Hyde, on the hunt for cash. I wondered for a long time where I was going to get some instant cash. In the end, I went for a long drive until the urge subsided and Dr Jekyll returned.
Then the next day on Sunday, I was in the office doing some work. After I finished, I realised I had some time to kill. I couldn't go to the casino...or could I?
I called up the bank and asked if it was possible to re-activate my credit card, hoping they could press a few buttons and then my card would work again, then I'd be free to withdraw cash and go gamble. But alas, the girl on the phone said it wouldn't be possible today given it was a weekend.
I felt disappointed and relieved. Once again, Dr Jekyll, with his rational and long term thinking, had done the sensible thing and saved the day. Dr Jekyll knew this urge would come, and had placed restraints to anticipate it. Mr Hyde was beaten...for now.
I sorta did some introspection to find out where this alter ego comes from. I think it's partly rebellion (mid-life crisis, feeling confined at times, too much listening to how crappy the economy is and wanting to escape that for awhile in a dreamland) and partly because I wish I was extraordinary, someone special who can beat the odds and laugh all the way to the bank. Well....... after getting knocked over the head several times with losses, I've woken up from that. I work on reminding myself that's not really who I want to be or be known for and that there are plenty of other ways to deal with mid-life (doing my exercise dvds, planning trips and appreciating good books, movies and the arts), being around people I love, etc.
So of course there are still many times that I fall into the trap and start getting the "Mr. Hyde" mindset...unbelieveable how it just pops up. But the more I'm able to stay away, the less the urge pulls at me. I just keep reminding myself it's too tough of a gig to keep up. I can't keep a straight face and continue to lose and lead the double life which is always peppered with misery after misery, no true friendships at the track and track owners who are waiting to suck the blood from your soul.
But withdrawing money from the ATM at the casino is a horrible financial decision, similar to me always wanting another cigarette, even when Ive been hacking all day. So I guess I can understand the addiction.
I suggest you find something to do with your time that is more productive. First of all, the games are mathematically impossible to win at all in the long run, so any bets larger than $5, particularly your $25 and up bets, are bad financial decisions. I have witnessed people losing thousands in 20 minutes at the Baccarat table (I dont mean to stereotype but I suspect Asians like to gamble, as the baccarat table always has a ton of asians)
The only time I put a bunch of chips down on the table is when I decide Im either going to bust out or get a 2nd breathe of life into my chips holdings. I play low house edge games and find them impossible to win as well. Last time I went to the casino which was like 3 months ago, I played black jack perfectly and still lost $50, the moronic lady next to me wouldnt hit on a 16 against a dealers ace.
Talk to any professional gambler, there isn't really any way you can win at a casino. The exceptions are, if you are really good at poker and only play at tables with novices, you are not really playing against the house in that case but other gamblers for their chips.
The other exception is to count cards at blackjack, but the edge only goes slightly in your favor, and the casino kicks out anyone they suspect of counting cards at blackjack.
Some of the things that I do are productive, I have several hobbies, I like gaming on my pc, building a faster computer and overclocking its CPU, I like RC cars, currently Im in a line of work where I can make easily double the average American makes in a day, so I focus a lot of time into improving my skillset in that occupation. Im into paintless dent removal, if you get a big rush from winning at the casino, imagine the rush I get when I knock out a dent in 15 minutes and charge the owner of the car $75 for it?
My boss does a whole hail job in 4 hours, and thats a $2500 job. Id rather focus on my new occupation, than try to become a better gambler at games that are mathematically impossible to win.