Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I was reading an article about a very wealthy Australian business man who had passed away a few years ago.He was many things, including a gambler. He loved gambling.
Here's one part of the article which reasonated with me:
Both Richardson and Phillip Adams suggest Packer's love of gambling went beyond simple enjoyment, hinting at a deeper psychological reason.
"While I'm not admiring of the sainted Sigmund Freud, I think he got it right on gambling and I passed this on to Kerry," Adams says.
"I said, 'Sigmund Freud reckons the reason you gamble is because you want to lose'. I said, 'You want to be punished for being you.' Kerrys response to that was a long, thoughtful and, I think, significant silence."
Richardson recalls: "There were reports in the paper that he'd lost $22 million in a weekend and it was a very big deal in Australia at the time.
"And he came back and said, 'How much trouble am I in with this, son? and I said, 'Oh a shitload, mate. Can't you go and lose two million? We can sell two million.'
"He said, 'You dont understand gambling do you? The only thing that matters is it has to hurt if you lose, and I've got to lose a lot a f***in' money before it hurts.'"
It never occurred to me, but perhaps I gambled because, in some sick way, I wanted to lose and wanted it to hurt? That would definitely explain why I started gambling larger and larger amounts. After a while, whatever you're betting becomes insignificant, you become de-sensitised to it, and you need larger amounts to get new and bigger thrills.
Does anyone feel the same way?
Here's one part of the article which reasonated with me:
Both Richardson and Phillip Adams suggest Packer's love of gambling went beyond simple enjoyment, hinting at a deeper psychological reason.
"While I'm not admiring of the sainted Sigmund Freud, I think he got it right on gambling and I passed this on to Kerry," Adams says.
"I said, 'Sigmund Freud reckons the reason you gamble is because you want to lose'. I said, 'You want to be punished for being you.' Kerrys response to that was a long, thoughtful and, I think, significant silence."
Richardson recalls: "There were reports in the paper that he'd lost $22 million in a weekend and it was a very big deal in Australia at the time.
"And he came back and said, 'How much trouble am I in with this, son? and I said, 'Oh a shitload, mate. Can't you go and lose two million? We can sell two million.'
"He said, 'You dont understand gambling do you? The only thing that matters is it has to hurt if you lose, and I've got to lose a lot a f***in' money before it hurts.'"
It never occurred to me, but perhaps I gambled because, in some sick way, I wanted to lose and wanted it to hurt? That would definitely explain why I started gambling larger and larger amounts. After a while, whatever you're betting becomes insignificant, you become de-sensitised to it, and you need larger amounts to get new and bigger thrills.
Does anyone feel the same way?
http://www.abc.net.au/interactives/kerry-packers-road/
I also know the greater the risk inherent in the bet meant the greater the adrenaline rush.
So the combination of both definitely contributed to me losing more.
If a compulsive gambler won every day for six months, that gambler would probably stop gambling because it was becoming too much like a job.
The rush and anxiety and the highs and lows were what it was all about with me.
The film "The gambler" with James Caan nails this topic on the head.
I do think I reached a point many times when I wanted it to end and would make ridiculous bets just to get it over with.
The emotional turmoil I went through at the end was brutal.
Chasing losses. I did that , making bigger and bigger bets to recoup losses.
That moves everything to a different level. Now it was desperation betting V thrill betting.
Its complicated. I would say I only wanted to lose when I wanted it over, but the bigger bets increased the thrill when the game was going on and if I lost the lows were therefore more intense, resulting in immediate withdrawal and wanting more bets to get the high back. Of course if I won I wanted the high to be higher if that makes sense.
Basically it was a F.... ing mess and so grateful I am not there today.
John.
I believe that we are all so very different and gamble for
so many different reasons.
We can also have other mood disorders and traumas
and emotional and biological problems heaped upon the
impulsive behavior of gambling.
I know that in the beginning of trying to quit I found that GA
was the necessary place for me to find the understanding and committment I needed.
It wasn't until I felt a little "clean" time under my belt that I
entertained the question of why did I gamble.
Even the doctors etc can't figure it all out so I just try to understand a little and then go with the GA mantra of ..............
accepting that this is a disease/illness/ addiction and I am not in control or do I have what it takes to stop by myself.
I also think you may just have been chasing your losses.
Trying to recoup the ever expanding amount of money you lost.
Thinking if you can get it back or just some of it THEN you will quit.
The "desensitivation" of it for me was simply wanting to feel the "high" more often and with more intensity.
The money never seemed real when I became most addicted.
thank you for sharing and helping me to think about it.
hmmm.. true...
I remember at times I had to force myself to go, because subconsciously I knew, once I got there the high and low will carry me through what I don't want to face in life. And it always succeed in puninshing me. I was very much willing and open to embrace that punishment and savor that pain in very sick and twisted way.
love,
victoria
thenewway - chasing losses was definitely part of it for me, but at the same time, I knew that it would be very possible to add to the losses by doing so, yet I still did it.
pennyluv - yes I have felt that way many times, where the only way to stop was to lose everything so that you no longer have anything to gamble with. I had a personal loan which I used to gamble with, and just a few days ago after some heavy losses had about $4000 remaining. I felt the strongest urge to just lose that as well so that I wouldn't have anymore to play with, but I called the bank up and told them I wanted the redraw facility taken away. Now that it has been, I still feel a bit 'empty' about not having lost those last thousands.
jesssteph - can't stop till we lose it all. I've seen this way too many times at the casino, everyone is a victim.
jayd03 - it's just ironic that after a loss, we feel the pain and tell ourselves to never do it again. Then we start to reason that we could alleviate the pain if we had one more shot, only to cause more pain. So what is it we want - to inflict more pain or to alleviate it, knowing that the former is more likely?
victoria - it is sick isn't it? After reading this article, I have now likened gambling to making small cuts to one's body. Self harm, but by slow, deliberate process. We are slowly killing ourselves.
Gambling is the same way, we know what it's like to be in that pain but we keep doing it like we want it to kill us.
Nothing hurts like "self inflicted wounds"
Love,
Victoria
In the past, all I had to do was hear that someone had won big, and immediately my mind told me I could too, so the desire to return was there. Problem is, it never seemed to happen that way for me. My betting amount increased because I lost more and more and felt I had to bet higher to try and win that money back quicker and I felt it would be the only possible way. So much desperation to try and win that money back so that I woud not be such a disappointment to my husband and family. It continually backfired. So was I consciously trying to hurt myself? I don't think so, but possibly down the road my thoughts coud change on that.
Thanks for reading!
"Do I need it to hurt?"............
I don't know that I needed it I was just very adamantly opposed
to feeling anything so no matter how much it hurt; I didn't care.
This pain didn't was alleviating the other pains of life.
Then after I had conditioned my mind to letting this pain happen,
I figured out just how much pain the gambling was causing me
and it WAS TOO LATE !!
Way too late.
I was hooked, addicted, taken in, and completely at the mercy of the machines.
No one NO ONE knows if the addiction comes first or the conditioning of it.
All I know is that I have an addiction, an illness and a dis-ease.
I must now deal with this along with whatever I was avoiding (I was escaping reality) to get to a normal life and recovery.
THE PAIN ??
well, let's just say that my life will always be a breeze from here on out. Forever a piece of cake without gambling in it.
I have ACCEPTED that I will not figure this thing out and I can't quit on my own.
I have TAKEN ACTION to do what I need to do to put the hinderances in place and get the "fellowship" that I need to recover.
I have started LIVING again with a "busy-ness" of having family, career and friends as God would have intended.
Alll ACTION words to make a true and heartfelt committment to do anything to get this gosh awful thing out of my life forever.
I want to live my life NOT throw it away on the most meaningless activity I have ever come across in my life.
Please do whatever it takes,
the hard work,
the committment
and the fellowship of GA and here.
whatever it takes
to STOP THE PAIN and
come back down to earth and live once again.