You didnt think it would easy did you? :) as i smile, stop thinking of it a week, like you said minute by minute, it does get easier, i am finally clear enough to feel the absolute disgust, im trying to find the good in the results

if i didnt gamble ........fill the sentence (but a positive outcome)

for me it would be i would of never sold my house and stayed in my childhood home forever, im looking forward to down scaling and living for my healthy brain.......my thinking was so f**cked up during my dark days, if you have enough vision, i promise you, there is an end to this madness

Know you aren't alone Hope - never alone. The first two or three months SUCKED but the further you get away from that last day you gambled, hopefully it will be easier. For me, I just have to keep telling myself over and over and over......I cannot go back into a casino or I will die. I am an addict and just one relapse will kill me. It is no longer a choice - I cannot allow it to be a choice. Does that make sense? As long as there was ever a glimmer of "just one more time" or "let me gamble this last $100" I was never going to get better. I wish you all the best and hope you stay gamble-free TODAY!

thanks and no worries I'm gamble free today and hopefully the next several thousand, just unsure as to what to do for fun? Not that the losing was any fun and I did feel like crap every time I left down, but the thrill of the what if's was a high I've never known. I don't drink, never have touched drugs, gambling was my addiction and my "fun". It seems like I truly can't remember what I did for fun before it? I'm sure I'll get there and start remembering just need to get through this weekend, weekends are my downfall.
So I apologize in advance if I'm posting on here repeatedly from Fri thru Sunday.

Never apologize for posting. We're happy to hear from you, especially if it keeps you out of the casino. So post as frequently as you want. We're here to help :)

Hope, I had to go back in my mind, and rediscover things I used to like to do before I started gambling. they were: (are) going to the library, going 'goodwill' shopping, going to a park, reading or writing, watching a good movie.... I had to pull from my 'fun' list for the first few weeks. now some of comes naturally.

I do miss the 'excitement of the anticipation' when I walked through the doors of a casino. but, I do not miss the 'feelings of dread' walking out the door.

hang in there.

go for a walk, and congratulations on day 4!

When I got serious about quitting gambling (and it had gotten really horrible for me, losing thousands of dollars every month on slots), besides planning other fun things to do, I made it a priority to understand my gambling addiction. There are some really great youtube videos. Some are about people who have ruined their lives and committed crimes to fund their gambling--watching one of those will keep you out of the casino for the night. The youtube videos that had the most profound impact for me is a series by a psychologist who gets into what happens to the brain from gambling, how to reverse the "ruts" so the brain develops new pathways when the triggers occur, etc.

thanks everyone for the encouragement and ideas.
Islapoppy I will definitely try and sleuth out those youtube videos.
Happy gamble free day to everyone!

Here is another thing - I was ashamed about telling some of the people I went to play bingo with about my problem. They weren't "casino gamblers," but they liked to have girls night out playing bingo because it was a drinking and socializing thing. Most of these women and a few men were people I work with and 2 people I work with and trusted knew about my issue. They would never tell anyone. So a lady who goes with us to happy hour said, "when are we doing out big bingo party again?" I was the one who organized them. My comment was that I have been super busy with other things and she said she had too. But I think she knew. I feel that now, I can be frank with people and just say that I don't go to casinos anymore because they have gotten me in trouble in the past. I feel like if I am honest with these folks, they will understand and if they are your friends, they won't encourage you to go for any reason (even to eat meals) - they will be smart enough to pick up on it and suggest other things to do. One guy actually asked if I wanted to walk over to the casino next door for lunch since they all had to go place their bets on the ball games and I politely declined and he was like "ahh, come on, you love playing the slots." I just said that I have grown old of the casinos and the food there isn't that great. He let it go. One of these days, I may be able to walk over and eat there without it being an issue, but right now I am still too vulnerable to enter a gambling establishment and I know that. But like I said, when the time is right, it might be good to be honest with the people you used to go to casinos with.

One more thing and I will stop :-) I have sat and hoped to myself that one day I might be "recovered enough" to gamble for fun again. But deep down inside, I know that will never be. I keep saying that when I am debt free and have saved enough money to be "okay" and put some in retirement or rather, restored the retirement account that I wiped out in a week, I might have some extra $$$ that I could play with for fun, but I believe that it is the same with any addiction and I will destroy myself all over again. I cry about this because I once had fun when I gambled. I have finally gotten to the point where I can play some of the free games on my tablet and be okay. It is not those games that drive the triggers. I don't feel the need to go gamble when playing the free games - the triggers come when I feel a need to escape life. That is the part of the addiction that is just NASTY!!! It comes when I am sitting at work having a hard time and want to walk away. The casino is right next door and I have to fight the urge to leave at lunch and "escape for an hour."