Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Hey there!!!
Couple of months ago I found this website and have been checking it on periodically. However, it wasnt enough =(
Just to update everyone...that downward spiral came quicker than a vacuum this time around. I stopped gambling for a couple of weeks and when I came across some cash the disease/addiction picked up right where I left it. Unfortunately, not only have I lost control of my addiction but I have lost my family as well. Came home from work last week and noticed our room was different...his clothes were gone, tv was gone and drawers emptied; I was on a gambling binge a couple days prior. He did not mention he was leaving at all even though hes mentioned in the past he will if I dont stop gambling but this time he did not say a word and had me figure it out on my own. I understand that hes had more than enough of putting up with my crap (11 years to be exact) and I dont blame him. I just hope that this is just temporary even though he says its permanent. I will attend the first meeting that is available in my area this coming Friday and there is also one on Tuesdays; I will make it to meetings to get through this recovery process even if I have to do it for the rest of my life. I am so scared; by scared I am afraid I will be gamble free for a certain amount of time, everything falls back into place and BAM! at it again!!
Im confused through it all too, he still answers my texts, phone calls and still has our house keys.
Taking it ONE DAY AT A TIME!!
Any feedbacks, prayers, critizism is greatly appreciate and will help me through this.
Prayer certainly is helpful but there are other things you can do to help yourself. Putting some barriers between you and your money is crucial early on, to stem the bleeding and just make it a little more difficult to get at your money can give you enough time to change your mind. Self banning at the places you gamble is a pretty effective strategy. Some of us have used professional payees, had trusted friends or family hold our money or hold our checkbooks, credit cards and debit cards. Some folks I've met, put all their discretionary money on a prepaid credit card. One tactic is to lower your cash withdrawal amount through the bank. One friend of mine put a $15 daily limit on hers, and made it virtual useless at most ATMs. I still after 20 months of abstinence try never to carry more than $19 cash with me. (It seems $20 bills are a trigger for me. ) One tactic is to have a trusted friend set the PIN for your Debit Card and not tell you what it is. (You can make purchases without a PIN, but you cannot withdraw cash.)
Educate yourself about this addiction. Keeping a journal helps sort out the flood of feelings that come with withdrawal. Keeping a gratitude diary of what you are grateful for daily can go a long way toward helping you feel better. Repeating affirmations, listening to hypnosis or guided imagery can help. Dancing does wonders. Artwork is something I use now like a medication for anxiety, urges, conflicted feelings, and healing my soul. (Artwork/anything creative, physically changes our brains and grows new synapses and makes new pathways and thus gives us more options for our thoughts.)
It will generally take 3-4 months for your brain to get back to normal brain chemistry, and a kind of fog will lift for you.
When you are up to it, try writing a formal 'goodbye' to gambling. Then begin working on a 'relapse prevention plan', writing out all of your triggers that make you feel like gambling and writing out what you are going to do instead of gamble the next time you face that trigger.
Exercise releases natural dopamine and other endorphins, so even if you don't feel like moving, a 10 minutes walk can make you feel much better.
Make friends, revive old friendships, volunteer somewhere to 'fill time', revive old hobbies and explore new ones. Do anything and everything you can to quit gambling. Life can be so much better.
Getting to counseling can help you uncover the roots of your addiction and help you prevent getting a new addiction just to fill the vacuum of the old one. (Alcohol, work, food and shopping addictions are common for folks stopping gambling, if we are not mindful.) Counseling helped me examine and deal with childhood issues with my abusive family, abuse in my two marriages and self abuse. It helped me to begin to love myself and turn that critical voice off in my head that used to call me all kinds of nasty names and hit me in the forehead, after I lost all my money gambling. All you really need to get going in recovery is Honesty, Openness and Willingness.
Getting support from D/S, from a GA group, other face to face groups, friends and loved ones is invaluable and I think, full recovery may not be possible in isolation.