Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I had almost 60 days gamble free and I felt like I was making a lot of progress. I self-excluded from my local Maryland casinos so I had that barrier in place. Unfortunately, this weekend I decided to drive to Dover Downs to gamble. At first it was fun to be back at the blackjack table and I won a bit of money.... Then it turned really bad, I lost lots of money and time. I didn't leave until 4 am in the morning and I fell asleep behind the wheel a few times (2 hour drive home). I only made it home by the grace of God.
I was able to self-exclude from Dover before I left the Casino. Just disappointed in myself again. This addiction is so hard to kick, nothing has ever taken hold of me like gambling. For those who quit for a long time, what "event" finally made you quit?
Thanks in advance for any words of encouragement and for reading.
Have you looked into what kinds of services in terms of treatment might be available in your state? Sometimes it is subsidized and free, as it is in mine. It would likely to be to your benefit to put another barrier between you and your money. At one time I paid a professional payee to manage my budget. I would turn over my paychecks twice per month and he would give me an agreed upon allowance. He got me caught up over an 8 month period and saved some money for me. I did go back to gambling that time, but I had not put my heart and soul and elbow grease into treatment processes and lifestyle changes. I later had success while in treatment by not allowing myself to use the ATM, never carrying more than $19 in cash and making all purchases with my debit card. Some people have given their best friend or spouse their credit and debit cards and check books, just to hold for them. It makes it so you have to take one more step that helps put just a few minutes to think between your trigger thought and your money. Some banks will allow you to lower the amount that you can withdraw an a daily basis from an ATM even as low as $5.00, so they don't work at ATMs because the machines usually have a $20 minimum , (some banks will not do this). Making a budget and goals about what I wanted to do with any extra money was helpful to me.
But frankly dear, without counseling/addiction therapy these steps were only stop-gap-measures for me. Getting to the roots of why I gambled and working through unresolved grief, loss, anger and pain was the only way I could really to begin to forgive and love myself. It takes making oneself reflect, meditate, assess values, seek spirituality, journal, grieve, forgive with gratitude and learn how to set boundaries with oneself and others. Become aware of all your triggers and DECIDE what you are going to do to address them instead of gambling. It takes constant vigilance to be mindful of self and others and finding the balance of all that that entails will likely take infinity.
The important part is to get a plan that is working for you. You found a weakness, fix the plan to address the weakness. You can do this, you have made it 60 days once, you can do that again and longer with a better plan and more tools. Each time you slip it can be a "teaching moment" about what went wrong and how to prevent it next time. Making myself engage in hobbies, new and old, engage with friends, the community, was/is helpful. Artwork is my new anti-anxiety medication.
Hang in there.
I am aware that I can go off of the edge at any given time so I constantly check into myself and fighting to eliminate any obstacles that may push me off the edge.
I am a time bomb awaiting to go off at any time, so I take care myself one day at a time. That is me, I am a gambler and always will be... but I don't gamble anymore because I want to be loved by me...
It is mind boggling that I still want to go gamble now and then in spite of all the horrific incidents I went through because of gambling. But the truth is I still do get the urge especially under very stressful circumstances. So for this reason I am not sure if I finally quit. I just choose not to gamble just for today.
I am on a journey called recovery, and I intend to be on this recovery, even if I never be recovered for the rest of my natural life. One day at a time...
Take care yourself my friend, you are loved.
Love,
Victoria
Stress is big trigger for me - here are some things that relieve stress for me:
A shower or a bath
Comfort food (in moderation)
listening to a guided imagery meditation
doing any thing creative (photography, dance, drawing, coloring, gardening, singing, etc)
Journaling
Writing down what I'm grateful for today
Saying or reading affirmations
Quiet time with soft music
Calling a friend (or making new friend, visiting with friend)
Doing something for someone else (make a card for some one or volunteer somewhere)
going to a park or wilderness area (taking the time to appreciate the nature around me)
Meditation
Prayer (All I know about my Higher Power is I ain't it.)
I am glad to hear you are adding to your plan/program of recovery. Loving myself, as Victoria talked about, is a key element to my recovery. I had to forgive myself first, for all the self-abuse, misery and danger I put myself through. It is consistent self-care, over time, that allows my 'inner child' to begin to trust that the adult me is going to take care of her. We have to learn to become a sort of nurturing, kind, loving, disciplined parent to ourselves. If you love your child you do not let them overindulge in anything, you steer them toward a well rounded variety of healthy activities. We can do this. Keep up the fight.