Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Hi all,
I'm back after quite a long time. I joined the site back in 2010. Fast track 6 years and I have still not fully kicked this nasty gambling habit. I can't believe its been 6 years and I am still in this vicious circle.
How does one accept this reality?
Since joining back in 20110 I have stopped for almost 9 months, again for 8 months, again for 6 months and the rest of the times months on and off. I have to some how workout how to abstain.
I think having support, being held to account and talking to people in the same boat goes a long way to recovery so I will try again, I have set up a new goal which I will write an update everyday to keep me accountable.
Welcome all feedback and advice. I am also happy to share with others firstly starting with this, which has helped me in the past which I plan to execute again:
- cut up the credit cards so I can't withdraw cash
- restrict access to cash (if you don't have access you can't go)
- set goals and do other things. For me that's hit the gym, hang out with friends do daily learnings etc.
- meditation to clear the head, reduce stress and help reflect
- active member of this site
Cheers
Bear
I'm back after quite a long time. I joined the site back in 2010. Fast track 6 years and I have still not fully kicked this nasty gambling habit. I can't believe its been 6 years and I am still in this vicious circle.
How does one accept this reality?
Since joining back in 20110 I have stopped for almost 9 months, again for 8 months, again for 6 months and the rest of the times months on and off. I have to some how workout how to abstain.
I think having support, being held to account and talking to people in the same boat goes a long way to recovery so I will try again, I have set up a new goal which I will write an update everyday to keep me accountable.
Welcome all feedback and advice. I am also happy to share with others firstly starting with this, which has helped me in the past which I plan to execute again:
- cut up the credit cards so I can't withdraw cash
- restrict access to cash (if you don't have access you can't go)
- set goals and do other things. For me that's hit the gym, hang out with friends do daily learnings etc.
- meditation to clear the head, reduce stress and help reflect
- active member of this site
Cheers
Bear
So glad you have returned from the abyss. I too, joined this site some years ago, maybe as early as 2006. (Different screen names - I can no longer remember - but I was not much of a participant then.) Can't recall exactly due to manly foggy years of cyclical gambling,
With each cycle I did more damage to my finances, my social circle/support group/family, my mental health and spiritual health.
I first went to treatment in 2010. It was not a successful attempt. I would say I have known I had a problem with gambling up to almost 4 decades ago.
It was not until 2014 that I began to really work at a personalized recovery program.
On your question of: "How does one accept this reality?" It helped me tremendously one time when someone said to me, " Acceptance is absolutely knowing in my heart, I cannot change the past." This is usually what I need to hear when I feel "stuck". No matter how much I wish it, I cannot change that I have a problem, I cannot change the way my parents acted toward me so long ago, I cannot undo the things I have said and done, I can pretend I that I am a social gambler but it will not make it so.
You know the basics, which I had to do as well, restrict cash, set goals, social needs, reduce stress. Just because you have relapsed does not mean you didn't learn anything or that you have not made progress. I also had to write out every trigger and write out what I would do different next time for each one, other than gamble. I was in deep and had to do some intense work around my grief, abusive childhood, shame, fear and forgiveness. I also had to begin to really be a nurturing, loving, firm but gentle adult to my inner gambler which I think is about age 3. I had to throw my entire being into a "fighting for my life" mode and do everything I could every day. I had to and still feel like I have to fight for recovery and want it like a dog wants bacon and guard it as if my life depended on it, because it does.
I apologize for the length - wordiness may be one of my character defects - I hope it was helpful.
Hugs & Prayers
I'm on day 242 of recovery. I went through the whole withdrawal thing for a month or two, and then I seemed to make a great recovery. I married the love of my life, lost twenty pounds, increased the revenue of my business, and seemed to be making amazing strides in my life. I wasn't participating here as much and reduced my therapy sessions.
And then I hit a wall a month or so ago. The urges have been almost unbearable. I think my trigger was a series of circumstances out of my control -- cars breaking down and needing emergency surgery -- and I still don't think I know how to cope with unexpected stressors without gambling.
I think, more than anything, what is getting and keeping me through this difficult period is this group. Hearing from others who have the same problem is comforting, a relief, and a constant reminder that I can't fall off of the bandwagon. I hear others' stories of when they fall off of the boat after weeks, months or even years of abstinence and hearing how hard it is to get back on reminds me that I can't go. That it's not worth it.
Also this group is really nonjudgmental. I've posted as many as five new threads in a week when I was really in a pickle and nobody ever complained or made snarky remarks or anything. It's saved me, and I think regularly coming back and writing and asking for advice and opinions and help and even screaming IN ALL CAPS when you can't take it anymore -- I think it's true relief, honestly.