Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
So here I am again for the third time. Yep, I'm quitting again. This addiction is so ridiculous. Yesterday I was with my 30 year old pregnant daughter and she wanted to leave the casino but I didn't. She grabbed the voucher out of my machine and started walking towards the door. I grabbed her arm and the struggle was on. She was yelling, "Mom, stop, I'm pregnant." All I could see was the $300.00 she was holding of mine. The security guards had to step in and break up our fight. Who have I become? This addiction is eroding my soul. Help. I am going to call in tonight and go to local GA meeting tomorrow. From reading other posts I realize that it is not unusual to try and stop gambling multiple times. I must quit before I am unrecognizable. Thanks for listening. Today I have not gambled.
It is as if you were in a crack house and someone grabbed your stash.
I GET IT. We are so in the zone. Wanting to stay in that "other place".
Sounds like that was a lightbulb moment of clarity.
Even after many of those moments I had found myself back out, gambling. My world had gotten small and that was my main NIRVANA. Even while it was DESTROYING me. Taking all my financial security, turning me into a person I did not want to be. Hi jacked my life.
Maybe that was a mini intervention by a loved one? Hoping that even though that was an external force you can internalize it and make it yours.
I promise YOU CAN DO THIS. You are at that fork in the road -- you may be able to see the path ahead if you continue gambling, what you will lose (far more than your financial security); and maybe can't imagine if you put it down and stay clean but I promise it is going to be such a fantastic future.
You will change and get your old self back.
Is there a GA meeting near you? Support is so important. And support from people who GET THIS.
You can't trust your own brain for a good 60 to 90 days. Exclude from the casinos. Don't hang w/ people who gamble. Immerse yourself in recovery. Protect your self and your life. It sounds dramatic but you've got to detox.
You matter. You have much to contribute to this world and that new grand baby.
There is no shame is falling as long as you get back on the bicycle.
Day one, today, is the most important day in your life, it is the day you decided to do something different. (A glimmer of sanity in the insane world of gambling.) You might want to write out the shame and horror you are having now, about your behavior and the next time you have a gambling urge, re-read it, out loud if necessary. It has helped me tremendously to do that as well as writing an official "goodbye to gambling" letter.
Be kind to yourself and don't push yourself to much, as joycatcher said, don't trust your brain to work quite right for the next few months.
Safe travels on your journey to recovery, I know you can do this.
Personally, GA didn't resonate for me...I have been in AA for a long time and love it but GA, not so much.
If GA works for you, awesome. If you want to also see a gambling counselor, please do.
I totally get you choosing gambling over everything else. I would likely have done that too (though I am not a parent, just a gambler); for me, even a loved one IN LABOR in the casino would have been a hard decision...gambling versus childbirth.
Gambling became my total obsession. For me, money was just paper because it simply meant gambling more and more. I was literally putting my money in a paper shredder AKA video poker machine. I never cashed out because I wanted to play more than I wanted the money. Even when I did cash out, it just meant I'd come back with THAT money.
I paid in $200 for a $50 royal flush.
Insanity of gambling, 10000x worse than my alcoholism and bulimia.
How many times did I want to go up to the bartender and ask if he could simply open up the machine and give me my money back and I'll never come back again.
In two seconds, I can lose it all because I'm greedy, I'm lonely, I'm impatient, I need the rush and I simply cannot cash out even when EVERYTHING in me tells me to do so.
Fifteen minutes until closing -- I just make bigger bets.
Insanity. Insanity.
Recovery is worth it.