Do not give up, ever. You can and you will do this.

Keep trying. It really is one day at a time. Peace and love to you.

Hey Lisa,
Dig in and fight- you can do this!
Jay

keep on trying, one day at a time, even one hour at a time if you need too. we have all been right where you are right now..................every day is another chance to start over. welcome to a new start today! keep posting, all right?

I hate to say it, but we are not 'normal' people when it comes to gambling. Besides, exactly what is 'normal'? Normal is Phase 1 when you first try your luck at gambling. It's fun, it's wholesome, it's exciting and it's do-able. Hit Phase 2 and it becomes a bit of a struggle. People winning next to you, having fun, and you are aggravated because you can't win. And then - there's Phase 3 - when you start to lose everything you have. O.K. - we can never go back to Phase 1, that's for the beginners. And Phase 2, why would anyone want to be stuck there and be aggravated all the time? A seasoned gambler is somewhere in Phase 3 and will always go back to Phase 3 no matter how long they stay away. We try so hard to control it, but, sad to say, we can't. Get out of Phase 3 and stay away from gambling entirely. It's the only way. It's not easy, but it can be done.

Thank you for your support with beating this demon down. I know in my heart that I can do this. I just want my life back. Sadly I can't remember how it used to be, but one thing I know it has to be better than this!! Love you all. Lisa

admitting we are compulsive gamblers is a big portion of starting to get help for it. first, we have to realize we have a problem.

so again, don't give up!

welcome back, this site isn't the same without you. Hang in there, and as noted, don't give up, ever. We are all here for you.

Hi Lisa - I just did the same thing. It is truly awful. I fell terrible and seriously can't control my heart from beating too fast now. You can do it. Let's both start over today. I am with you. xo

Lotsalots hits the nail on the head. It's sort of like once you see something, you can't "un-see" it...
The perspective in that statement is really the essence of step 1- admitting we are powerless over gambling and that our lives had become unmanageable. In other words and to echo her post, we can never go back to "phase 1" because it can never be just a game or simple recreation for us. Phase 2 creeps in quickly and brings us to our knees.
Don't gamble for anything. Period.
Jay

hi lisa ! welcome back. everyday is a struggle with this demon. been down same road 100s of times where i quit and go back . really is frustratation and lowers your self esteem and worth to below nothing. glad to see you back we helped each other stay gamble free in the past so no reason we cant do it again .! stay strong friend. love and hugs. johnny

I'm really going try hard this time. If I don't, I'm gonna lose everything if I go back. I've started crocheting like crazy. That keeps my mind busy. I've missed all of you here. You are all awesome!!
Love and Hugs Lisa

I actually had a thought this week when several of my co-workers were going across the street to place their bets on the football games. I thought to myself that I could go over and play $20 on VP and I would be fine cause I am well enough in my recovery that it won't hurt, but then I stepped outside, had a smoke (my bad habit I picked up again over the past few weeks) and had a chat with myself. I know good and well what path this would take me on. I had to convince myself that it would lead to several more trips and eventually back to the black hole I just dug myself out of. I have been down due to all the life struggles and walking across the street during my lunch break would just be so easy - escape from reality as I had discussed with my therapist. That is why I gamble. I learned when I cut off all the access to my cash and credit cards and had the little allowance left and still managed to gamble, it really wasn't about the money - it was about the escape and the escape leads me to do things to get money which to gamble with. I can't just be happy with the $20. I would want to stay for hours and I don't have that much money.....so I had the talk with my "other brain" and said no. It is hard, but talking to yourself works as silly as this sounds.....I was even looking at the casino as I sat and smoked. How retarded is that?!?!?! Anyway, good luck and keep the promise to your mom. I have a hard time lying to my loved ones so I will not go because I will end up telling my family if they ask.