Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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lifechoices 11/15/2016

I must be addicted to losing, because that's consistently what happens when I am at the casino. I'll never make up for all of my losses, and that's so hard to accept. I talk to other players who are there 3am and it's the same. We're all chasing.

I hate that I've lost so much hard earned money and for what? I hate that I'm so disconnected from people and from myself. I hate that my addiction has stolen important time away from my family.

I'm beginning to notice the progression of damaging affects my personal path of destruction has caused onto others. My children's academic progress and outlook of their future was at one point brightly optimistic. Now I see their grades slipping, their overall attitude about success in their own future seem limited. And the recent lack of interest in after school activities. Our home, which at one point was well kept, is now messy and cluttered. Junk around the house doesn't get picked up. The garden overgrown, burned out light fixtures, old food in the pantry not being thrown out. Is this mess we're coming into caused by gambling? More than likely yes and the guilt of what I've caused already is unbearable.

Addiction has changed the course of my life towards a future of unhappiness and disappointments.. Whereas before my gambling, I was passionate about living- now it seems like I don't care. Because while I'm gambling, I hear and see nothing else. When I'm in a trance, I can go on for over 24hours without sleeping. I don't even listen to my own body signals. I'm unaware of any feeling of hunger for food. When I do go to the restroom, sometimes I'll notice urine on the floor because other compulsive gamblers also ignored biological signals too long and couldn't make it to the stall. Has anyone else seen the same? That's probably why there are always attendants working in casino restrooms. It's so sick. Those of us who are not compulsive may see it to be pathetic, but as a compulsive gambler, while in action, it seems like nothing else matters more than winning back your losses.

I'm terrified of powerful progression of this disease, and where it's taking me and my family. First it steals your money, then your dignity, then it takes possession of your soul and finally your life. It's a battle everyday. I keep trying, but the recovery from a relapse progressively seems to be getting worse.

healing57 11/15/2016

I know exactly what you are talking about, I went through all of that, that you are talking about. But now I am 5 months gamble free and that is no longer the way my life is. I am not constantly obsessing over gambling, I rarely even think about it. There is hope for you. I picked a quit day about a week away and I started praying for God to take away the desire to quit. I quit on that day and have not gambled since. I go to 2 Celebrate Recovery meetings, you can find one near you and on GA meeting a week plus I use the GA call in meeting if you read back posts you can find info on that. I also see an addiction counselor. You may be able to get free help call the number the have all over the casino to find out. you can do this, but not alone. I spend a lot of time in recovery, maybe 10 hours a week but I as gambling 40 hours a week, and obsessing over it any time I was not gambling. It is worth it to get help and start reading old posts on here they are very helpful. You know you have to quit but only you can do it. Also most importantly ban yourself from the casino for life. It will change your life instantly. You will be free of that option. We are all here for you. Hugs

skip88 11/15/2016

I hear a lot of hate in your voice, but you need to direct this hate toward your addiction, When you hate it enough you will finally give in and quit. Trust me, if you won back all that you lost in one night, it would not make any difference in the long run. Within days you would be right back at in, feeling invincible after your great comeback. And within a matter of months right back in the same old abyss you had prayed to leave. Give yourself a break from this crap, and start living again. All the money in the world is not worth feeling like this, chasing,frantic,strung out like a junkie. For that's what this addiction has made you. Now start hating it and learn to reclaim your life back. God Bless

Qwit4Good 11/16/2016

I too have been where you are. "Because while I'm gambling, I hear and see nothing else. When I'm in a trance, I can go on for over 24hours without sleeping." - I could go three full days at the casino without sleeping - be in the trance or 'brown out' as it's referred to with gamblers and not know how much damage I had done to my savings, checking and credit line until Monday morning. Seeing nothing and hearing nothing else and obsessing constantly about where to get more money or chasing losses is the whole cycle. Your brain is hijacked by addiction it is very much like a serious drug addiction.
I gambled to the point of wanting to die - but I am two years since my last bet, by doing all the things that newgirl posted and more. Money is the least of the issues, resetting our priorities about what is really important coupled with counseling, work on why we are abusing ourselves and learning to relate better to those we love can set us free. There is hope, take action.

Iwasobese99 11/17/2016

I found this YouTube video of "Inside the brain of a gambling addict - BBC News"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF5SzIN63w8

Watching it helped me to understand the strong pull on my brain every time I gambled. Thanks.

kenjiLeach 11/18/2016

Try to let go of your losses and take the steps to letting go of the addictive behavior. Our greatest gift is our free will which we give away when we continue to gamble. It helps me to pray for strength, but it also necessary to make a plan. You can free yourself. Take it one day at a time. Good Luck

JeanneKR 11/23/2016

I had 16 months, now 5 days. I hear you. I cannot go to GA anymore, my job is at the times of the meetings. I am looking for online groups and found this one today. I have 30 years in AA, so I do know recovery, however, this one..has me so sick. I pray daily, work steps, work with others, and I still go to Casino. NO food in house, can't pay rent once again, over and over I devastate myself. Plan, I have a GA sponsor I call every week. I did therapy for gambling for one year, it was offered to me for free. I checked myself into a gambling recovery home for 11 months. I do try to go to any lengths, still all resolved is gone on when I get paid on Fridays. I have reset priorities, gone to three to 4 meetings weekly and now I can't do therapy or meetings, no money for therapy, no health insurance to pay and work prevents meetings, so I am looking online. Today I joined this group. Grateful I found you. ONE day at at a Time.

Leapyear22 12/03/2016

oh, sweet girl, you are singing my song. Prior to my recovery, I swear, your story is my story. It is progressive, and yes, it can get worse. You don't need to be in that trance, or that bathroom looking at the urine. You can have your life back, if you want it. Start your recovery, one day at a time, one minute at a time. I promise, it gets better, I promise you, it gets better. Do the footwork, recovery isn't easy but its so worth it. Hang in there, and remember, you can do this.

JeanneKR 12/03/2016

It is pathetic, addition is like that. I am in AA and also dual addict, in recovery for 30 years. I know that my gambling is an addiction, is a disease and the body signals are turned off when using. Heart attacks occur all the time at the Casino. The warning signs ignored. I have seen it, I have seen women faint due to low sugar...or have serious UT infections. I myself have almost fainted too, I did not eat for almost 18 hrs and I have Hypoglycemia, must eat protein 6 times a day or at least 4 meals a day to stay in balance, a tablespoon of nuts works, but hey, I cannot remember to eat when gambling. Keep coming back..I do despite the face I have no abstinence.

lifechoices 12/10/2016

Thank you everyone for your supportive responses. I tried to quit again and last Tuesday I relapsed. It was horrible. I went to the casino at 10am and didn't leave until 6am the following day. Missed work. It was as if I was hijacked .
I was so devastated at what had happened and had another nervous breakdown . It's so sick. Every time I relapse the addiction gets worse. I gambled money that I don't have, and now so deep in debt that I cannot afford buying family gifts for the holidays. I'm so ashamed and disappointed at myself. I remember when I just lost the money I did have, and now I've gone beyond that point where I struggle finding a way out of the debt I'm in. Everyday I try to find ways to keep me from thinking about gambling and falling into another relapse. Depending on the events that day, I become susceptible to relapse.
It's so horrible and I often wonder wish for a different life. The one where I didn't become a compulsive gambler. What could have been? Everything was so different before I became compulsive gambler. I use to be able to look forward to the future, and now I'm just struggling to survive. The last decade has been such a down spiral in my life fighting gambling addiction and losing more every time. I keep trying to stop, and yet somehow the addiction only gets worse. I've gone to counseling, tried GA, even prescription medications. I am lost. It's torture to live this way.

skip88 12/10/2016

I feel for you, but when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you will quit. What choice do you really have?

GamblingIsLethal 12/17/2016

I very clearly remember one of my lowest moments ever while gambling. I was living in Arizona at the time, which is riddled with casinos, a problem gambler's HELL! I would sleep all day to make up for the time I spent at the casino the night before, then wake up and scrounge some cash together however I could. Every night I found myself at the same stinky, smoky Indian casino desperately trying to win a jackpot (which would never come). This particular night I happened to have ~$1,100 in my pocket and over the course of 12 hours I spent EVERY SINGLE DOLLAR. About half of it was lost playing poker, the other half playing roulette and some blackjack. By the time I made it back to my house I was so distraught over what I had done I was contemplating suicide. This was the first time I truly realized I had a serious problem and decided to call GA for help. Moving away from Arizona to a state where they do not have casinos within 50 miles was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I guess once I had hit rock bottom I knew it was time to give up the "dream" that all degens have. Most people go broke before they ever win big.... that's just how the system is rigged! My heart goes out to your family lifechoices, as they are the ones that are truly suffering...

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